school event and visitation

[luckymom]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

My daughter is currently an 8th grader attending a private school. She has gone through the testing process and been admitted to a prestigious magnet public school for high school. We are trying to decide what would be the best choice. The public school has an event a couple of weeks from now to orient the incoming class. It is on a Saturday. My daughter is due back from her spring break visit to dad the next day. She and I would like her to be able to attend the school event so that she can go through the placement tests for math and foreign languages) and also get a sense of the place.

I have asked her dad to allow her to return two days early (Friday) so that she can and told him he can add two days to his summer visitation. (The spring break is two weeks long, by the way). He has refused. He insists she should continue to attend the private school. I pay all the tuition and would prefer her to attend the public school.

What can/should I do to make it possible for my daughter to attend this school event?

 

[futuredust]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TX

My daughter is currently an 8th grader attending a private school. She has gone through the testing process and been admitted to a prestigious magnet public school for high school. We are trying to decide what would be the best choice. The public school has an event a couple of weeks from now to orient the incoming class. It is on a Saturday. My daughter is due back from her spring break visit to dad the next day. She and I would like her to be able to attend the school event so that she can go through the placement tests for math and foreign languages) and also get a sense of the place.

I have asked her dad to allow her to return two days early (Friday) so that she can and told him he can add two days to his summer visitation. (The spring break is two weeks long, by the way). He has refused. He insists she should continue to attend the private school. I pay all the tuition and would prefer her to attend the public school.

What can/should I do to make it possible for my daughter to attend this school event?

Who is we?

Do you have joint legal custody?

Have you discussed this school with dad prior to having her even tested?

Dad doesn't have to return her early.

Does your court order say you have to pay all the tuition?

Does the court order state what school she will attend?

 

[luckymom]

"We" is my daughter and I. Last fall when we went to court over raising child support, I asked dad to contribute to private school tuition (I have paid 20,000 per year for 6 years), the judge ruled that he did not have, but went on to say that I was free to choose to move her to public school, since dad chose not to contribute. So we then went through the testing process. I have kept dad informed of the 1) admissions process and 2) the results. He has declined to participate in any part of the process and didn't even call to congratulate her on getting in to the school (ranked one of the best in the country by U.S. News and World Report)!

 

[futuredust]

"We" is my daughter and I. Last fall when we went to court over raising child support, I asked dad to contribute to private school tuition (I have paid 20,000 per year for 6 years), the judge ruled that he did not have, but went on to say that I was free to choose to move her to public school, since dad chose not to contribute. So we then went through the testing process. I have kept dad informed of the 1) admissions process and 2) the results. He has declined to participate in any part of the process and didn't even call to congratulate her on getting in to the school (ranked one of the best in the country by U.S. News and World Report)!

Does your court order reflect that you have final say on the school? Is it written in the order, or does it say she will attend school at XXX.

Do you have joint legal?

His failure to congratulate her is not relevant, while it may not be nice, matters not.

Have you asked him to take her, and you meet them there. Let him get a look as well, maybe he will change his mind. Because he does not have to return her early, so trying to get him to go with might be the best way to get her there. Is this an all day thing, or only for a few hours. Maybe there can be a compromise of you picking her up from dads for the event and bringing her back to him after it is over, should he choose that he does not wish to go at all.

 

[stealth2]

futuredust - you might notice that OP is in IL and the case is in TX. So I doubt it is as simple as Dad taking the daughter, or Mom picking her up and returning her.

OP - you may have to talk to the school and ask about her being allowed to do a school visit and taking the placement tests at a different time (I'm certain they have make-ups), explaining the situation.

When my daughter was in a similar situation, I contacted the school in question, explained to them that she was scheduled to go to her Dad's that weekend and asked if she could take the exams the previous or following weekend if I could not switch her time with Dad. They were more than willing to work with me. Dad did agree to switch, but at least I knew I had options.

 

[futuredust]

Ah, sorry about that. I totally missed mom was in IL. I just looked a the TX portion.

Sorry about that mom.

Thanks, stealth

 

[nextwife]

By now, Dad may have already locked in the airfare for the visit and be unable to change it.

 

[luckymom]

I pay the airfare and have already offered to pay the fees associated with changing the date of her return.

 

[stealth2]

op - you may have to talk to the school and ask about her being allowed to do a school visit and taking the placement tests at a different time (i'm certain they have make-ups), explaining the situation.

When my daughter was in a similar situation, i contacted the school in question, explained to them that she was scheduled to go to her dad's that weekend and asked if she could take the exams the previous or following weekend if i could not switch her time with dad. They were more than willing to work with me. Dad did agree to switch, but at least i knew i had options.

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[CourtClerk]

... ... ... ...

If you're wondering why she never responded to that excellent advice, it's probably because that would make too much sense... AND she wouldn't then get her way

 

[profmum]

He has refused. He insists she should continue to attend the private school. I my daughter to attend this school event?

Do you have joint decision making? if so, isn't the fact that he is not agreeing to this change a bigger deal??

 

[LdiJ]

Do you have joint decision making? if so, isn't the fact that he is not agreeing to this change a bigger deal??

We" is my daughter and I. Last fall when we went to court over raising child support, I asked dad to contribute to private school tuition (I have paid 20,000 per year for 6 years), the judge ruled that he did not have, but went on to say that I was free to choose to move her to public school, since dad chose not to contribute. So we then went through the testing process. I have kept dad informed of the 1) admissions process and 2) the results. He has declined to participate in any part of the process and didn't even call to congratulate her on getting in to the school (ranked one of the best in the country by U.S. News and World Report)!

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[futuredust]

She never answered as to if she had joint legal, or if what she claims the judge said was in fact put into the court order.

 

[LdiJ]

She never answered as to if she had joint legal, or if what she claims the judge said was in fact put into the court order.

If the judge ordered it in court, she has that right even if it didn't make its way into any written court orders. Its still a judge's order.

If dad took her to court for contempt, all she would have to do is provide a copy of the transcript where the judge ordered that, and any contempt case would be dismissed.

Judges do not force one parent to continue private school AND be 100% responsible for paying for that private school.

 

[Ohiogal]

If she does NOT send the child, she can be found in contempt which COULD result in her losing custody entirely depending on other things.