Should hubby go for sole?

[SMURFEELAW]

What is the name of your state? Arizona

Hubby has joint legal and primary physical custody of his daughter. Mom has only Supervised visitation on terms agreeable to Dad.

There has been no visitation since June b/c mom is a drug addict and cannot act civil with dad.

On September 9 mom's mom was granted guardianship of moms other child (not my hubbys) with a Restraining Order effective for a year that covers G-ma and the child (no contact phone or physical).

Is there any point in dad pushing for sole v joint?

Personally I don't see much of a difference (besides I never fully understood why the Judge ordered Joint since mom is an addict (tested positive for Meth in court) why would she be given the responsibility of making decisions for the child she quite obviously can't make sound decisions for herself.

I think we should wait until mom attempts to file for some sort of structured visitation/custody change and then go for it.

I don't want to look like we are trying to bury mom, the Judge is still a little protective of her (didn't want to pile on costs we paid that the Judge knew mom should be responsible for "but she is an addict and can't pay, we wouldn't want to bury her and give her no hope")

Mom now has a warrant (no one knows her location) for not showing up to Court on Possesion charges and has been trying to (called once ) see child (6th b-day last weekend) and when denied got hostile and mean but not threatening. Mom does not know about losing her other child yet (g-ma could not find her and she did not receive official notice/ or read the paper regarding the hearing last week) Child has been with g-ma since June mam has not called or seen son since August 13th.

Any suggestions greatly appreciated.

 

[tigger22472]

I really can't see wasting the money for it myself. Sole custody sounds better than it is. I mean sure he gets to make all the decisions, but isn't he already doing that? If mom doesn't like it would she take it to court? As we all know there isn't a magical contempt fairy that flies around and things automatically go to court.. My point is that it sounds like even if mom did take this to court not a whole lot more than MAYBE a slap on the hand at the worse would happen to dad and then it would be the point to file for sole custody but until then I'd leave well enough alone.

 

[SMURFEELAW]

I really can't see wasting the money for it myself. Sole custody sounds better than it is. I mean sure he gets to make all the decisions, but isn't he already doing that? If mom doesn't like it would she take it to court? As we all know there isn't a magical contempt fairy that flies around and things automatically go to court.. My point is that it sounds like even if mom did take this to court not a whole lot more than MAYBE a slap on the hand at the worse would happen to dad and then it would be the point to file for sole custody but until then I'd leave well enough alone.

Thanks that is kinda what I thought but my mother-in-law has really been harping the issue since the other g-ma received Guardianship. My mom0in-law is worried that mom could get clean and the Judge could turn around and give custody back (Courts are pro mom more often than not)

But like you said it would really be a waste and if mom does file something then we could address it. Thanks sometimes you just need to hear that what you are doing is the "right" or at least "best" thing to do given the circumstance from someone outside the day to day loop