Should we be worried

[gastepdad]

What is the name of your state?GA
Our 14 year old daughter has stated, quite adamantly, that she wants to live with her dad. Stats: The Dad is a truck driver, rarely home, unmarried living with his 5th girlfriend in 5 years. He hasn't paid child support in 4 months, and has remained behind in support since our divorce was final 5 years ago. Instead of being a man and admitting that he simply cannot afford to support her, nor can he "raise" her, he has encouraged her to discuss this with us, knowing we are against it. We have been together for 5 years, married for soon to be one. We provide a stable, disciplined atmosphere. We have full custody, and his visitation is minimal. Knowing the biggest factor in her wanting to live there is the lack of supervision and discipline, as well as not having enough time to spend with him, we have tried to speak logically with her and her father, to no avail. She is insistant on moving in with him. She stated she has gone online and found out that at the age of 14 she can go in front of a judge and ask to live with him. Does he have a chance? What steps does he have to take to make this happen? What steps can we take to prevent it? Is there something we should be doing to make a stronger case to a judge? Does it require that both parties obtain a lawyer? PLEASE HELP??

 

[stealth2]

GA does, unfortunately, give children this power. Mom would have to prove Dad unfit.

 

[gastepdad]

Unfit?

Him not paying child support wouldn't be considered unfit? Him being a truck driver and on the road M-F would not be considered unfit? Him constantly moving and bringing new women into her life would not make him unfit? What type of things would be considered unfit??? His last girlfriend allowed her to "sample" Jack Daniel's and coke at a New Year's Eve Party.... They weren't "together" at the time, but he took her there and picked her up.

 

[stealth2]

It depends how much of that Mom can actually prove. That's really the crux of the matter - what proof she has. All of that together - with documentation - could be enough. But none of us have crystal balls, and can't tell you what a judge will consider unfit.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state?GA
Our 14 year old daughter has stated, quite adamantly, that she wants to live with her dad. Stats: The Dad is a truck driver, rarely home, unmarried living with his 5th girlfriend in 5 years. He hasn't paid child support in 4 months, and has remained behind in support since our divorce was final 5 years ago. Instead of being a man and admitting that he simply cannot afford to support her, nor can he "raise" her, he has encouraged her to discuss this with us, knowing we are against it. We have been together for 5 years, married for soon to be one. We provide a stable, disciplined atmosphere. We have full custody, and his visitation is minimal. Knowing the biggest factor in her wanting to live there is the lack of supervision and discipline, as well as not having enough time to spend with him, we have tried to speak logically with her and her father, to no avail. She is insistant on moving in with him. She stated she has gone online and found out that at the age of 14 she can go in front of a judge and ask to live with him. Does he have a chance? What steps does he have to take to make this happen? What steps can we take to prevent it? Is there something we should be doing to make a stronger case to a judge? Does it require that both parties obtain a lawyer? PLEASE HELP??

Its true that in GA the child's wishes rule at age 14. However...there are some caveats to that. The parent and the parents home situation has to be fit. Since dad is rarely home due to his job...its by no means guaranteed that the judge would allow her wishes to rule.

 

[gastepdad]

Does he have to get a lawyer to begin the entire process? Do we have to have a lawyer? What is the normal process?
As for needing to put my foot down and being a parent... I have explained that this is AGAINST my will.... (I am MOM, hear me roar) and that I will fight it with every breath in my body and penny in my pocket... I am looking for answers as to how to keep her home, where she is safe and supervised and NOT subjected to the instability, among other things, that she is at her Dad's.

 

[LdiJ]

Does he have to get a lawyer to begin the entire process? Do we have to have a lawyer? What is the normal process?
As for needing to put my foot down and being a parent... I have explained that this is AGAINST my will.... (I am MOM, hear me roar) and that I will fight it with every breath in my body and penny in my pocket... I am looking for answers as to how to keep her home, where she is safe and supervised and NOT subjected to the instability, among other things, that she is at her Dad's.

Dad would have to file for custody for anything to happen at all.

 

[gastepdad]

There's some good info... he can't pay $50 a week in child support, or afford $30 in gas every other week for a visit, or even once a month for that matter.... So I truly don't worry about him getting a lawyer to have a custody case heard....

 

[stealth2]

He doesn't necessarily need an attorney to file for a modification.

 

[LdiJ]

He doesn't necessarily need an attorney to file for a modification.

But he would have to pay the filing fee....or if GA has a "pauper's law" qualify for the filing fee to be waived. That at least requires some effort on his part...and it kind of sounds like he isn't terribly likely to make that effort.