Siblings able to have guardianship over younger sibs

[BigSisLittleMom]

So tell me again where both parents are unfit.

And, if you KNOW that there is neglect or something else going on, what CPS has done about it?

Heck, why are we even having this discussion? You're 14. The law could change drastically over the next 4 years.


Come back when you're 18.

yes i know that i am currently not of age. and if the laws do drastically change then i will school up on it then and over the years. please don't think of this as some kid trying to just take over their siblings. i when i lived with both parents i would be the one staying home doing things the mother should have done instead. both of them for awhile referred to me as mom and i feel like their mother. and i am well aware that i am not. but if i can in anyway help them i will do what ever it takes to do so.

 

[Proserpina]

yes i know that i am currently not of age. and if the laws do drastically change then i will school up on it then and over the years. please don't think of this as some kid trying to just take over their siblings. i when i lived with both parents i would be the one staying home doing things the mother should have done instead. both of them for awhile referred to me as mom and i feel like their mother. and i am well aware that i am not. but if i can in anyway help them i will do what ever it takes to do so.

You haven't answered my question.

WHY do you think they are unfit?

What PROOF do you have?

Are child services involved? If not, why not?

 

[stealth2]

HEY! All of my peeps! This is a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD CHILD we're dealing with! Dial back the 'tude! Big time.

 

[BigSisLittleMom]

Because even over the age of 18 you are still a kid. your "stable" income and "steady" home wont really be that stable and steady will it. no, you would have just had the job a year, and place 6 months, do you know how fast you can loose both of those things? that just increases the likelihood you will need the states assistance to support yourself and the children, so the judge will be looking for someone more stable and more steady.

And finally, how much do you think you will be making right out of high school, didyou plan to attend college at all?

i did not mean right out of highschool. you do not know my plan and i would appreciate if you asked. (i am not trying to be offensive at all) and when i mean stable and steady i meant when i am able to have a career and when i am hopefully done with college. and don't look at it like i'm all alone because i believe my family will help ( by this i mean my gram and aunt) because they love them almost as i do. all three of us are not happy with their parents.

 

[BigSisLittleMom]

You haven't answered my question.

WHY do you think they are unfit?

What PROOF do you have?

Are child services involved? If not, why not?

i think they are unfit because they are not steady. the mother's mental health is questionable and their father is domesitcally abusive. both do drugs neither have jobs. and the mother is in a shelter and their father is currently with my cousin and his wife. they were invovled in minnesota then my mother left with the children. CP doesn't want to touch it.

 

[Proserpina]

OP, here's the thing.


Even though you care about your siblings, the court is going to need a very good reason to terminate the rights of their/your parents and place them with you instead of with a foster family or the State.

Proving parents to be legally unfit is actually very, very difficult - they're legally allowed to be really crappy parents, and unless there is a pattern of neglect and/or abuse it's really just not going to happen.

If there IS abuse and neglect, then social services needs to become involved. That would be the first step.

But, even if social services does find a problem they will first give the parents a chance to turn things around and the kids will probably be returned to their care after they've completed what is called a reunification plan.

I'm sorry, but it's not enough to say that you want to adopt them or that you think they'd be better off with you.

 

[BigSisLittleMom]

OP, here's the thing.


Even though you care about your siblings, the court is going to need a very good reason to terminate the rights of their/your parents and place them with you instead of with a foster family or the State.

Proving parents to be legally unfit is actually very, very difficult - they're legally allowed to be really crappy parents, and unless there is a pattern of neglect and/or abuse it's really just not going to happen.

If there IS abuse and neglect, then social services needs to become involved. That would be the first step.

But, even if social services does find a problem they will first give the parents a chance to turn things around and the kids will probably be returned to their care after they've completed what is called a reunification plan.

I'm sorry, but it's not enough to say that you want to adopt them or that you think they'd be better off with you.

i understand that and thank you for saying it. i know it's not enough to just say i want to adopt them. but again thank you

 

[BigSisLittleMom]

HEY! All of my peeps! This is a FOURTEEN YEAR OLD CHILD we're dealing with! Dial back the 'tude! Big time.

i know you haven't really commented on this and that's either because you think that i'm a naive little kid or you just don't care but either way i would like to say thank you for making that comment.

 

[Proserpina]

i understand that and thank you for saying it. i know it's not enough to just say i want to adopt them. but again thank you

Family law can be overwhelming for even most adults (ahem - me included), but if you want to educate yourself...without growing up way ahead of your time because frankly you deserve and need to be a teen for quite a while longer....stick around the forums and read through the old posts.

And focus on YOU.

Enjoy the next few years of being a teen. After that, your life begins to suck so much more than it does now

Try not to worry so much about your siblings. Trust me, once they get to school (or even a little older than they are now), more adults are going to be involved in their lives and many of them will be "mandated reporters", such as teachers, who are legally required to report any suspicion of abuse or neglect.

(Gawd I suck talking to young teens - this really isn't meant to be condescending at all and yet I fear it's coming across as being just that!)

Good luck.

 

[stealth2]

i know you haven't really commented on this and that's either because you think that i'm a naive little kid or you just don't care but either way i would like to say thank you for making that comment.

Actually, none of the above. I asked another question (how you ended up with your grandmother), but somehow it's not here.

I actually do care - I have teens of my own - and while I may think you're young and naive, I respect your concern for your siblings. But I also understand that there may not be much you can do. And the questions being asked of you need to be answered - so I wait for those responses as I consider my response.

But you're welcome.

 

[ecmst12]

troll troll troll troll troll

 

[Proserpina]

troll troll troll troll troll

....llama, llama, duck!

 

[dannyt]

none

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Minnesota/New York

Hello my name is India and I have two siblings that i care deeply about. But unfortunately they are not with me and in a not so nice situation. My brother is 5 and my sister is now 4 living with their father in New York. My brother has autism and his father chooses not to recognize his disability. So he probably is not getting the help he needs in school. And also the last time I checked neither of my siblings were in school or darecare of any kind. If they aren't with their father they are with our mother, who tries to pass them up on other relatives as much as she can. Neither one of the parents are stable or (that I am aware of) have a job.

Unfortunately I am not an adult yet. But I was wondering if by the time I am of age (which i hope isn't too late) if I would be able to gaining some form guardianship of them or adopt them. Because as long as they have been alive I'm the one who has played with them and made them food. (Granted I could not buy the food but I would continuously be watching them for our mother to go to parties and such.)What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

you have no standing legally to do anything.now or ever.and as long as their under 18, you need to make nice with mom if you want to see them, she has 100 percent control who has contact with them. you have absolutely no say over who she leaves HER children with.

 

[stealth2]

you have no standing legally to do anything.now or ever.and as long as their under 18, you need to make nice with mom if you want to see them, she has 100 percent control who has contact with them. you have absolutely no say over who she leaves HER children with.

Huh... was it you or one of your multitude of siblings/cousins or one of your alter-egos who was fighting for custody of their 50-million siblings?