Son kicked off Youth Football League

[Fair4Kids]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? TN
Well, to make this as brief as possible, my son was kicked off his team and out of the league at the last game. He has been subjected to an abusive asst coach and unsportsmanlike comments from his teammates this year and the HEAD coach has been approached and refused to do anything but look the other way. So at the last game he stated that the coaches were "stupid" for not playing other players while his 1st string became wore out and exhausted and had injuried players still playing as well. They stated they would not tollerate his "attitude" and removed him. Now reviewing their BI-laws and Coaches handbook there is NOTHING anywhere that says they can do this and this is a PAID league...we PAID to put him into and play.....how can we fight this legally? At this point I want the league to follow their bi-laws. We have been told NOT to bring our son to practice by one of our friends because she said she doesn't want to see anything "bad" happen!!! By the way, she is a board member so I assume they are planning to do something to us if we show up**************.legally were do we stand?

 

[CourtClerk]

You ought to tell your son to keep his mouth shut next time and learn his lesson.

 

[tiredofdrama]

Do you think your child's school would put up with him calling the teacher stupid? If they actually removed him from the team, this could not have been an isolated incident. My son plays in midget football league too, and the coaches command respect from the kids, as they should. Do you stay for the practices? Have you witnessed or overheard the coaches treating your child unfairly? Could this be a situation where your child has been acting unruly for some time, the coaches have disciplined him, and he sees it as them treating him unfairly?

I also have a hardtime believing that there is nothing in the bi-laws stating that a child will be removed from the team if they misbehave or disrespect teammates and coaches.

Just because you paid for your child to play does not mean they have the right to play no matter what they do or say.

I could be wrong on all of this, but as a parent that stays and watches the football practices EVERY NIGHT (it is quite draining), I see lots of kids acting up or getting angry when they don't get what they want. Then I watch them run and tell their parents that the coaches are being mean to them for no reason. Those coaches deserve a medal for volunteering their time like they do and working so hard with the kids. They deserve respect.

 

[Fair4Kids]

Ok so I see I forgot to mention that directly after the game he APOLOGISED to the coaches and expressed to them his fustration of being called worthless by other teammates and asst coaches. He, as an 11 yr old CHILD seemed to handle this with more maturity than the adults. Yes he was wrong making a statement about his coaches being stupid but they are not within the bi-laws by resorting to kicking him out totally....a punishment I can understand but ban is wrong...again there is NOTHING in the by laws to support this decision..and FYI he was punished at home as well for his actions. Might I ask what you are sooooooo mad about that your post was so nasty? Come on this is YOUTH football and he did what he saw OTHER teammates do....degrate each other and their coaches....this should be a learning experience not a win at all cost one

 

[Fair4Kids]

Yes we are there for EVERY practice and because of the treatment he has been receiveing we started video taping practices and games and NO there has NOT been other incidents and we as parents kept him in this league because we were also trying to teach him that he was committed to the season and FYI this is his 3rd year with the league...and there have NEVER been behavior issues with his teachers either.....this is why it was so shocking to all of us and I was standing right there when the comment was made. He is a shy quiet child in general.....but he LOVES football and until this year was a very good nose guard. The coach had been demoted from JR High and High School coach recently and has made comments that he is "gonna show the high school" what they lost by coaching a youth league better than the JR High and High school coach is doing now.....I can also direct you to their web site for the Bi-laws and Coaches handbook.....nothing to hide here!!

Do you think your child's school would put up with him calling the teacher stupid? If they actually removed him from the team, this could not have been an isolated incident. My son plays in midget football league too, and the coaches command respect from the kids, as they should. Do you stay for the practices? Have you witnessed or overheard the coaches treating your child unfairly? Could this be a situation where your child has been acting unruly for some time, the coaches have disciplined him, and he sees it as them treating him unfairly?

I also have a hardtime believing that there is nothing in the bi-laws stating that a child will be removed from the team if they misbehave or disrespect teammates and coaches.

Just because you paid for your child to play does not mean they have the right to play no matter what they do or say.

I could be wrong on all of this, but as a parent that stays and watches the football practices EVERY NIGHT (it is quite draining), I see lots of kids acting up or getting angry when they don't get what they want. Then I watch them run and tell their parents that the coaches are being mean to them for no reason. Those coaches deserve a medal for volunteering their time like they do and working so hard with the kids. They deserve respect.

 

[tiredofdrama]

Ok so I see I forgot to mention that directly after the game he APOLOGISED to the coaches and expressed to them his fustration of being called worthless by other teammates and asst coaches. He, as an 11 yr old CHILD seemed to handle this with more maturity than the adults. Yes he was wrong making a statement about his coaches being stupid but they are not within the bi-laws by resorting to kicking him out totally....a punishment I can understand but ban is wrong...again there is NOTHING in the by laws to support this decision..and FYI he was punished at home as well for his actions. Might I ask what you are sooooooo mad about that your post was so nasty? Come on this is YOUTH football and he did what he saw OTHER teammates do....degrate each other and their coaches....this should be a learning experience not a win at all cost one

Yes, I 100% agree that it should be a learning experience. One that teaches a child to listen and work as a team. As I said before, I highly doubt that this is the only time your child has gotten out of line. You did not address that in your last post. Could it be that your child has been acting up for a while now, the coaches have been calling him on it, the other kids are reacting to it negatively toward him, and he (and you) are internalizing that as "Everyone is attacking me for no reason"?

 

[tiredofdrama]

okay, I just read your last post. If all of that is true, then you should contact the head of the board for this league and address this issue. Find out exactly what their reasoning was for doing this. Most likely they will let him come back, and at the very least, you will know what they feel the problem is. Do that first, get the facts, and go from there.

 

[Fair4Kids]

we did that last night and the board voted NOT to get involved in the community league's issues. <sadly> and we have videos, pictures and more to back up everything we have stated. We feel that there has to be something we can do to at the very least prevent this from happenig to someone else's child....ours is crushed and I was never so proud as when he went an apologised and tried to do the "adult" thing and talk about what was bothering him.

 

[CourtClerk]

Do you think your child's school would put up with him calling the teacher stupid? If they actually removed him from the team, this could not have been an isolated incident. My son plays in midget football league too, and the coaches command respect from the kids, as they should.

Mine too!!!! But they are almost as bad as the karate instructor.

Do you stay for the practices? Have you witnessed or overheard the coaches treating your child unfairly? Could this be a situation where your child has been acting unruly for some time, the coaches have disciplined him, and he sees it as them treating him unfairly?

Yes probably so.

I also have a hardtime believing that there is nothing in the bi-laws stating that a child will be removed from the team if they misbehave or disrespect teammates and coaches.

I do too, because our bylaws are chock full of them, including verbage that states they have the right to remove you from the league for just about whatever reason they want.

 

[CourtClerk]

Ok so I see I forgot to mention that directly after the game he APOLOGISED to the coaches and expressed to them his fustration of being called worthless by other teammates and asst coaches.

As I told my child... sorry doesn't make everything better.

 

[tranquility]

Unlike many here, I think the coaches are wrong in this situation. Having coached youth sports for over 30 years, this is not an appropriate response to a youth speaking up. Period. Even if it is rude.

Now, as a coaching instructor, I tell those who take the classes for certification to encourage such comments and create a system for appropriate dialog between *all* the stakeholders of the team. These coaches, by not having that, set up the frustration which a young person finally couldn't handle. Excuse the kid? No. But we are talking about grown-ups who aren't really meeting the needs and the goals of youth sports.

All that being said, the only *legal* thing to do is to find another team. Ask for a refund for the time you are not on the team. If they deny or point to a "no refund" clause, make sure they support the removal based on *written* criteria. If they don't sue them for breach of contract.

 

[Fair4Kids]

OK I am going to try and address all I have read....NO, we have NOT had behavioral problems with himn before at practice or games, at school or at home and YES we have been to EVERY practice and game and are armed with a camcorder for all events for the past 6 weeks because the first few weeks were awful. We even have him video taped patting the back of a fellow player as he came off the field from a play just before he was ejected for calling the coaches stupid. and FYI he said that because this player was INJURED and EXHAUSTED. I will gladly post the web site where ya'll can find the bi-laws and coaches handbook and see that there is NO code of Conduct rules, no coaching disipline rules, no NON refund rules, NADA...they are VERY vague. I am just not sure if I am allowed to post web addresses here. Now we have approached the community board as well as the major board. The comunity board stated "so sue us....we have enough insurance to cover it" and the major board said there is nothing in their bi-laws that say they can or cannot get involved.....<ugh> this sounds more and more like a hillbilly league thrown together without a good clue and I would LOVE to get him into another league but there is no other and the season is about over...we have one more game and play offs. I am thankful for those that see a coaches error and I agree with the ones who feel a disrespectful child should be punished however what if the child was NOT wrong this time? What if maybe what he spoke might have an ounce of truth in it? The more I speak with people about it the more I am thinking he saw what we couldn't, through the eyes of a child.

 

[Fair4Kids]

I wanted to add today that we have a parent teacher meeting last night and spoke with my son's three teachers. I directly asked if he was disrespectful or had behavior issues in school and all three clearly said "NO!" in fact they all agreed that he was a joy to have, happy, fun, and VERY VERY respectful. They were made aware last week of the issue of the game last saturday and have been watching for behavorial issues. They stated that he was a bit withdrawn around his teammates but none of the kids seemed to have any problems with one another. Amazing how kids can solve problems better than adults. Severla teammates have expressed their disapointment with their coach as well but will NOT voice it to him directly nor will their parents for fear their child will be next.

 

[las365]

I am baffled at your insistence on keeping your son in this organization in which he is demeaned. If it is as bad as you describe, I would think you would be relieved to have him out of that environment.

There are plenty of other sports your son could play. Football is a lousy game for kids, in my opinion.

 

[Fair4Kids]

I am baffled at your insistence on keeping your son in this organization in which he is demeaned. If it is as bad as you describe, I would think you would be relieved to have him out of that environment.

There are plenty of other sports your son could play. Football is a lousy game for kids, in my opinion.

I could care less if he is back in this league but the league has taught him that rules don;t matter and they have also stole our money (my our opinion) and danaged our son's reputation by the lies.