son wants to go ua-help please

[scjb3]

Name of State: AZ
My son enlisted in the marines while still in high school. He left for boot camp in San Diego in Sept. Not long after getting there he decided he had made a mistake. I tried to encourage him to give it a chance. He became very depressed. He is a bad sleepwalker. (We told his recruiter this from the beginning.) We tried using this to get him out while he was still in bootcamp. It didn't work. He graduated from bootcamp on Jan. 6, 2006. He was on leave for 17 days with 7 of those days being recruiters assist. While home we talked about how it looked like he was going to have to make the best of it. On Jan. 24, 2006 he went back to Camp Penedleton for infantry training. I talked to him yesterday and he says he wants to go ua. He said he just can't adapt to military life. He is just barely 18 and he is a real good person. He has never been in trouble. He is very well mannered and helpful. I can tell that this is tearing him up inside. He wants my advice and I don't know what to tell him.
I would appreciate any advice anyone can give me.
Thank you, Mom

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Firts of all, he has not gone AWOL yet, and please do whatever you can to insure that he doesn't.

Have him set up appts. with the on base church services , the psych department through the hospital, and start there. Have him contact his commander.

If he is truly depressed he could get a medical discharge.

 

[carproblems99]

what kind of advice?

If your looking for legal advising relating to the possible results of what might happen if he's goes awol, search around this site. Tons of helpful insight as to the process from all branches, stories from those who have been their, etc.

The way you worded your post(constantly referring to his solid character, etc.) seems like your looking for a moral justification more than legal advice. If your looking for a pat on the back, I'll certainly give you one. The kid obviously enlisted during war time and meant well. Some people simply aren't up to the task of military life. Sure he's a legal adult, but he's still a kid at 18.

It was a mistake, let's not go too far. After all, his soul searching cost taxpayers lots of money. It was definately a mistake. A big mistake. However, kid's make mistakes. Make sure he learns from this if he leaves. Give him a hug for me.


Good luck mom.

 

[revere787]

if your son wants out of the marines, im sure anyone will tell you its not easy. My advice would be to tell him not to go awol, but talk to his commander and request an entry level separation. Tell him to tell his commander that military life is not fit for him and that he cannot adapt to it. His commander will tell him to probaly piss off, but your son needs to be persistent, and keep on the commander. You can call the G.i rights hotline at 1-800-394-9544, they are a peace activist group who specialize in military procedure and knowledge. They are on your side, call them and give them your son's situation and be honest b/c they dont care what his reasons are for wanting out, they will give you the best advice they can and tell you where your son probaly stands. I believe an entry level separation is for soldiers who have served less than 180 days, so tell your son to be persistent and demand to be let out, with respect of course, so he does not get in trouble for using improper language and being dis respectful. Another thing that you can try is to contact your state senator or congress person. That again will take persistent phone calls and letters. Good luck

 

[questionia]

Tell your son not to consider going UA - there are consequences regardless of what GI Hotline advocates say. Your son is not experiencing miitary life. He's experiencing training - and it's boring, repetitive, and sometimes challenging. That doesn't mean that life in the Marine Corps, or any service, is like that 365 days a year. Tell him to hang in there. The best thing you can do as a parent is to provide encouragement at every turn. Letters and phone calls when available are the best thing to keep his spirits up. THere must be a reason he joined the Marines, I know I had one. Tell him to dig down and keep that reason in mind.

 

[badapple40]

Do not let him go AWOL if you can at all avoid it. There are serious consequences to going AWOL.

 

[scjb3]

Thank you to everyone for your info. My son seems to have gotten some bad advice about what will happen if he goes ua.
When he was in bootcamp I did contact the people at GI Rights and we did try what they suggested. I sent him letters from those who were familiar with his sleepwalking problem explaining how often and what he does when he sleep walks. He also went to the clergy on base and spoke with them and he spoke to his co about being set up for a psych evaluation. I don't know if that happened or not. I also contacted our congressman, but I only sent one letter and I did not hear back from him. I just got put on his mailing list.
I am very torn as to what to do. I feel that he chose to do this and he needs to follow through. I feel that if he does get out that he will regret it down the road. I told him before he left from his leave that he needs to have a positive attitude and make the best of it. On ther hand as a mother when your son asks for help it is hard not to try and do what you can. He is going to do something and I would rather try to help and make sure he doesn't do anything really stupid or should I say greater degree of stupid than what he has already done.
Thanks again.

 

[badapple40]

I wrote home once a week during basic cadet training (nicknamed BEAST) and every week thereafter during my first year at the Air Force Academy about how damn miserable it was, about how I had the crap hazed out of me, and how life sucked.

I offer this up not to undermine what your son is going through, but simply to point out that he can get through this, if he is determined to do so, and, furthermore, that there are support services to help him.

For me, it was a certain chaplain.

 

[thepizzaguy]

I wrote home once a week during basic cadet training (nicknamed BEAST) and every week thereafter during my first year at the Air Force Academy about how damn miserable it was, about how I had the crap hazed out of me, and how life sucked.

I offer this up not to undermine what your son is going through, but simply to point out that he can get through this, if he is determined to do so, and, furthermore, that there are support services to help him.

For me, it was a certain chaplain.

That was inspiring. It is no wonder these kids go AWOL and it is now wonder why the military preys upon the youth. Because they are young, dumb and strong. Kinda like a lion eyeing a pack of Antelope.

Mothers warn you'r children not to do what I have done... I heard that somewhere before lol

 

[scjb3]

Thank you Bad Apple. I know that he can do this and I'm sure he will not hate it so much when he is done with training. I hope I can make him believe that he can. He is young and foolish and I am sure he sees his friends just hanging out and having fun. He wants to do that too. I have told him that in 5 years his friends might just be hanging out still, but he will have experience and training that will take him places they will never go.
Thanks again. Have a wonderful weekend.