spousal

[tb69]

I am being taken back to court to have my spousal reduced as my ex is retiring and his income will be less. It states in the divorce that neither party can change the spousal. It was to be for 10 years of which their is only three years left. Can he really do this? We live in MN. Also any help with my writing up a response for him and the courts as I can't afford an attorney. Thanks!

 

[Hopefloats-2]

Hi...I too am Pro Se so I know what you feel when you are going this along. I have my final hearing this monday for alimony. I would be specific in asking for the data to support his claim at this time. The courts may not care, and expect him to find a way to supplement his income. I hope things go well. This is such a difficult thing for all of us here. I will be wishing you the best. You may also do what I did. I paid for legal council. This was so great as at least I got the appropriate paperwork/wording and only paid for the hourly fee. No retainer was involved. I still have to represent myself though. Also you may check into free legal aide...just a thought...good luck!!!!!! Hopefloats-2

 

[Equishoe]

Hey Dottkanga, did it ever occur to you that these women put there lives aside and raised these mens children? They probably kept a clean house, wiped up after hubby, did his laundry, changed his sheets, made his meals and basically catered to his every need. They did this for FREE! Now, with basically no skills to procure a decent job that pays minimum wage, they are out there with nothing. This also happens to men who stay home to raise children and they deserve recomense as well. You are an angry bitter person and if someone has wronged you, I am sorry, but you don't know everyones story.

 

[dottkanga]

Equishoe

Hi Equishoe, It just makes me mad when i see womem taking money from men for spousal support. They should be able to take care of there selves. They think , i clean your underwear for ten years now i want paid. you know ,it's like (volantiering) and after ten years of work you want paid for your (volantier work). I,m tired of everybody thinking they should get a free ride. Everybody needs to start to take responsability for thier selves. If they have children thats called child support, and that, the man should have to help with ,but it should be 50/50. don,t get me wrong, i am a woman not a man, but if women ever want equal rights they need to act equal and not depend on men to support them.

 

[ellencee]

tb69

I think your response would be to tell the judge that your ex made the decision to retire and live on less income while knowing that he had three years of spousal support remaining. If you have knowledge of retirement income that he will have, such as 401K plans, or IRA's, retirement income from his employer, Social Security Income, then take those facts with you. If you do not have this information, you need to ask the court to make him disclose this information.

You will want this information in court with you; and, you will not want to waste the time of the court by going to court first and asking the judge to make him disclose this information. Therefore, you need to subpoena this information from him prior to the court date.

I recommend hiring an attorney to represent you and requesting that your costs be paid by your ex, who voluntarily created this situation.

If your ex is represented by counsel, I strongly recommend that you are, too.

If he is pro se, then perhaps you can hire a paralegal to assist you in preparing the proper paperwork, including the subpoena.

Good luck and best wishes.

 

[Illinois Parent]

To dottkanga:

Spell check is a wonderful tool. Try it sometime. Then again your idiocy would still shine through just as clearly since there are limits on what spell check can correct. It can't do much about grammer, syntax, paragraphing or sentence composition. It does require some semblance of the English Language as a starting point.

As for the point I think you were trying to make, Equishoe answered that much more compassionately than I would. But then again, that is only a guess on my part since most of what you wrote was inappropriately aggressive where it was intelligible.

 

[dottkanga]

illinois parent

i'm so sorry for my bad spelling! i didn't know you had to be pperfect to post your opinion. i haven't learned how to use this computer yet, so i guess my opinion dosen't count. maybe i didn't spell very well but i think you may have gottin the point, or you wouldn't have gottin so defencive. all i was saying was if we want to have equal jobs, pay and rights we can't keep forcing men to take care of us.

 

[nailtech]

Re: illinois parent

i'm so sorry for my bad spelling! i didn't know you had to be pperfect to post your opinion. i haven't learned how to use this computer yet, so i guess my opinion dosen't count. maybe i didn't spell very well but i think you may have gottin the point, or you wouldn't have gottin so defencive. all i was saying was if we want to have equal jobs, pay and rights we can't keep forcing men to take care of us.

all i was saying was if we want to have equal jobs, pay and rights we can't keep forcing men to take care of us.

why do your ex's have to pay your support. get off of your lazzy buts and take of your selves. your not children! you people make me sick!

now how are we to get the first statement to read into the second? they dont even say the same thing... telling someone to get off their lazy butt has nothing to do with equal pay or jobs...

the men are not complaining of getting taken care of while their married so why should they complain now having to take care of an ex wife?

Please go "Burn your Bra" somewhere else...

 

[dottkanga]

Sorry you don't get it! we don't all depend on men like you !

 

[brismom]

who is the lazy one

I think dotkanga is a woman that didn't get what she wanted from her divorce. Alot of women give up good paying careers when the children come along to raise the children. Investing her time and love into the fa,mily. Most often agreed upon by both partners. An agreed on obligation is a contract. He should still have to pay what she is fully intitled to and owed. I stayed with me now ex for 16 years, quitting my career so that he could persue his dream in another state. I raised our children, cleaned our home, did our laundry, kept our books,educated our children(homeschool) ran all the errands, bathed him and nursed him back to health when he had a stroke at 35. Then was walked out on after 16 years of marriage, because he met a woman on the internet adn wanted her. Oh he walked out on child number for when he was 2 months old. He now pays childsupport but I was also awarded alimony for 5 years so that the youngest could be raised as were his siblings, by Mommy. Not all women are lazy. I am the CP and I raise my 4 children well, they all are honor students and I attend college at night and carry a 3.85 grade average at age 40. When the baby is 5 and starts school I will then go to work. He didn't ask his daddy to walk away from responibilty and he deserves to have mommy at home. Sorry if you think all women taht get alimony are lazy. I work hard, and I have good kids to show for it. He deserved to have to pay. too bad it was only 5 years. I took care of him longer than all our children combined.

 

[dottkanga]

brismom

me and my husband are happily married. have been for eleven years. and i to care for and riase a lovely and very smart little girl. yes i take care of my husband but he takes care of me too. so if we ever did divorce, why should he still take care of me? i,m not his child, i,m his wife. it,s like i said in another post, you volinteered and now you want paid. it dose not make sence to me. i know i spelled wrong. so what.

 

[brismom]

dotkanga

(me and my husband are happily married)

here in lies your problem, you have no business at all telling any of these divorced people what to do, YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN THERE. And I pray for you and your little girl you never have to. I too thought we were "Happily married" my God we had just bought a new 100,000.00 home. then two years later that was all gone because I had no idea what he was doing online while he was at work. When you have experienced it........come back and we will all console you , things change when your "happy world" falls apart and you are faced with raising children. YOu should keep your opinions to yourself until you have walked a mile in our shoes, they are very uncomfortable. Have a nice day but i suggest you go find a happy couples forum to give your opinion in. You obviously know not what you are talking about.

 

[dottkanga]

i,v always taken care of myself, and don,t see why just because i married a man he should take care of me after we are divorced. you people will never get it. you see a man and all you see is $$$$$$$$$$$$$$.

 

[brismom]

No dotkanga you don't get it

No dotkanga you don't get it. WE all believe we are happily married. I was making more than my ex who was a mere deliveryboy when we married at age 21. I believed when I said I do that he would love me forever and I hom, that we would raise our children and be married till we were old and grey. I quit my career so he could pursue what he wanted to do. He is the one that went off the deep end and caused the marriage to fail. Even admitted to the counselor and my parents and my best friend that he in his words "forced himself upon me" counselor cleared it up for him telling him it was rape. He held a 2x4 over my then 10 yr olds head. He walked out on the kids and I the youngest 2 months old. He chose to have an online affair with a woman in indiana, whom he married 4 mo after our divorce and didnt have the balls to tell his own children ( they found out on return address on there christmas card) He has the obligation to take care of his kids and should have to apy alimony to me.
You wont get it dotkanga till it happens to you, so how do you consider yourself fit to give divorced people any advice at all. We all believe it will never happen to us.