futuredust
Senior Member
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? AR/IL
Spring break is quickly approaching, dad was notified several times, and we actually had a discussion last week about it. This coming Thursday is the kids last day of school, Friday is an in service day for the staff but the kids do not attend.. then they have the weekend. Monday the 22nd begins the official break through Friday the 26th. There is a weekend after and they return on the 29th.
I told dad he could pick the kids up anytime after school on Thursday, be it Thursday or on the weekend.. whenever, so long as they where home to go back to school on the 29th. It is his year, but honestly, even if it were not he could come get them to see them, since he has not seen them at all in over a year. He told me he would have to get back to me to see if he could afford it.
I offered at Christmas to pay for a hotel for he and his wife and to feed them, if he wanted to come see them. He said that he could not afford to come get them- take them to IL and then return them. So I made what I felt was a generous offer so the kids could see their father. He declined and then sent the kids each 100 dollars as a Christmas present; then called the day they got it and asked them to spend their money buying train tickets to come see him. The kids did not want to so he got mad at them, said some not so nice things, then said "Well I guess I will see you at Spring Break".. He told me he would save money for the trip.
So break is here, and daughter called him tonight to see when/if he was coming to get them or see them. He said to her "I don't know, did your mom buy you train tickets to get here yet?" She said uh dad, you are supposed to do that or come get us, you told us at Christmas you would. Then he went into the 100$ present thing again with her and told her that he would bet she wished she had that 100 now to buy her own ticket to come see him.
She got off the phone with him and had a good laugh about it while she told me.. .I just looked at her in disbelief, I know he should no longer be shocking to me, yet still, he managed to shock me once again.
So here is my question. He has been pretty clear he is not coming to get them. I would like to take them on a mini vacation for break. Can I just move forward with plans and reservations at this point? I would like to start setting this all in motion so that we can leave after school on Thursday and go to Virginia, which is a 12 hour drive to see family. Stopping off at the smokey mountains and planning a day hike.. blah blah.. all that stuff.
Do I need to send him a certified letter, return receipt, of our plans so that he is informed.. and can choose to get them instead if he wishes. Would I word it that he needs to notify me before Thursday or what?.. It is short notice, but I can overnight a letter to him.
Of course he is going to be angry, if I take them on vacation, instead of paying to send them to him. I asked the kids, tonight, if he does not come get you, would you want to go on a mini vacation with me instead.. they said yes. Will a judge knock me (if he ever actually took me to court, that is) for taking them on a vacation instead of sending them to dad? As it is I support our children 100%- he pays nothing at all in support or medical. Do I really need to pay for him to see his children as well?..
Yes I could afford to send them, but am very unhappy with him at the moment. Our daughter has been having some serious health issues and has been at the doctor twice a week, every week, for the last month running tests. I have called him to keep him updated on everything, his only replies have been "thanks for telling me... man I bet that is getting expensive". He has not once called to check on her, he just waits for me to let him know. So to be perfectly honest at this point, I feel I have more then done my share of co-parenting and should not have to pay to send them to see him as well.
Of course I could be wrong, so I ask you, your thoughts and how I should handle it.
Many Thanks in advance.
Spring break is quickly approaching, dad was notified several times, and we actually had a discussion last week about it. This coming Thursday is the kids last day of school, Friday is an in service day for the staff but the kids do not attend.. then they have the weekend. Monday the 22nd begins the official break through Friday the 26th. There is a weekend after and they return on the 29th.
I told dad he could pick the kids up anytime after school on Thursday, be it Thursday or on the weekend.. whenever, so long as they where home to go back to school on the 29th. It is his year, but honestly, even if it were not he could come get them to see them, since he has not seen them at all in over a year. He told me he would have to get back to me to see if he could afford it.
I offered at Christmas to pay for a hotel for he and his wife and to feed them, if he wanted to come see them. He said that he could not afford to come get them- take them to IL and then return them. So I made what I felt was a generous offer so the kids could see their father. He declined and then sent the kids each 100 dollars as a Christmas present; then called the day they got it and asked them to spend their money buying train tickets to come see him. The kids did not want to so he got mad at them, said some not so nice things, then said "Well I guess I will see you at Spring Break".. He told me he would save money for the trip.
So break is here, and daughter called him tonight to see when/if he was coming to get them or see them. He said to her "I don't know, did your mom buy you train tickets to get here yet?" She said uh dad, you are supposed to do that or come get us, you told us at Christmas you would. Then he went into the 100$ present thing again with her and told her that he would bet she wished she had that 100 now to buy her own ticket to come see him.
She got off the phone with him and had a good laugh about it while she told me.. .I just looked at her in disbelief, I know he should no longer be shocking to me, yet still, he managed to shock me once again.
So here is my question. He has been pretty clear he is not coming to get them. I would like to take them on a mini vacation for break. Can I just move forward with plans and reservations at this point? I would like to start setting this all in motion so that we can leave after school on Thursday and go to Virginia, which is a 12 hour drive to see family. Stopping off at the smokey mountains and planning a day hike.. blah blah.. all that stuff.
Do I need to send him a certified letter, return receipt, of our plans so that he is informed.. and can choose to get them instead if he wishes. Would I word it that he needs to notify me before Thursday or what?.. It is short notice, but I can overnight a letter to him.
Of course he is going to be angry, if I take them on vacation, instead of paying to send them to him. I asked the kids, tonight, if he does not come get you, would you want to go on a mini vacation with me instead.. they said yes. Will a judge knock me (if he ever actually took me to court, that is) for taking them on a vacation instead of sending them to dad? As it is I support our children 100%- he pays nothing at all in support or medical. Do I really need to pay for him to see his children as well?..
Yes I could afford to send them, but am very unhappy with him at the moment. Our daughter has been having some serious health issues and has been at the doctor twice a week, every week, for the last month running tests. I have called him to keep him updated on everything, his only replies have been "thanks for telling me... man I bet that is getting expensive". He has not once called to check on her, he just waits for me to let him know. So to be perfectly honest at this point, I feel I have more then done my share of co-parenting and should not have to pay to send them to see him as well.
Of course I could be wrong, so I ask you, your thoughts and how I should handle it.
Many Thanks in advance.
