SS and asset distribution

[tuffbrk]

What is the name of your state? NJ

BACKGROUND: STBX self employed since shortly after marriage (20 yrs next month). Refusal to pay taxes, do filings, etc. at heart of divorce. Now has liver disease, working to get on transplant list, claims disabled and has no $. 1 child I am fully supporting, another but he is 19yrs old.

We have equity in the home appr $200k. Although I found an account of his that I wasn't aware of, it is my belief that he has nothing other than 2K in an investment acct. I have 401K (174k), retirement acct funded by my employer (95.2k), Stock fr bonus (7.8k - depending on the market tho) and options fr bonus - some of which haven't vested as of yet - (28.3k - again, depending on the market)

Attn'y says - I will be expected to give him a full 50% of assets noted above, that if his condition worsens or SS or the VA Admin rate him disabled (right now SS has declined him 2x's - for SSI, He's not eligible for SSD, the VA rated him as 0% disabled) I will receive 0 in CS and that in addition I'll need to pay spousal support and it's highly possible that it will be permanent...

Does that sound correct? I thought asset distribution percentages were a bargaining point?

 

[Bali Hai]

What is the name of your state? NJ

BACKGROUND: STBX self employed since shortly after marriage (20 yrs next month). Refusal to pay taxes, do filings, etc. at heart of divorce. Now has liver disease, working to get on transplant list, claims disabled and has no $. 1 child I am fully supporting, another but he is 19yrs old.

We have equity in the home appr $200k. Although I found an account of his that I wasn't aware of, it is my belief that he has nothing other than 2K in an investment acct. I have 401K (174k), retirement acct funded by my employer (95.2k), Stock fr bonus (7.8k - depending on the market tho) and options fr bonus - some of which haven't vested as of yet - (28.3k - again, depending on the market)

Attn'y says - I will be expected to give him a full 50% of assets noted above, that if his condition worsens or SS or the VA Admin rate him disabled (right now SS has declined him 2x's - for SSI, He's not eligible for SSD, the VA rated him as 0% disabled) I will receive 0 in CS and that in addition I'll need to pay spousal support and it's highly possible that it will be permanent...

Does that sound correct? I thought asset distribution percentages were a bargaining point?

Everything is nogtiable my dear. If left to the judge, they will use their discretion and split things "equitably". In your case, if the genders and circumstances were reversed, you would be in a far better position than he is.

 

[tuffbrk]

So then...does that mean my attn'y isn't really advising in my best interests? My retainer is GONE already so now I have to pay as I go...it's just that I've read in here that sometimes alimony is waived in lieu of property settlement or vice versa so I was taken aback when this is what I had been advised...just wondering if this guy is actually working for me....

 

[Bali Hai]

So then...does that mean my attn'y isn't really advising in my best interests?

Not at all. But maybe.

My retainer is GONE already so now I have to pay as I go...it's just that I've read in here that sometimes alimony is waived in lieu of property settlement or vice versa so I was taken aback when this is what I had been advised...

Well if you give up more marital property to your STBX; STBX may agree to no alimony. Get it??

just wondering if this guy is actually working for me....

I fired four attorneys wondering the same thing.

At the time, I was really pissed. But as I look back, I really enjoyed doing that.

They thought I was a push over, but in the end, I made every one of them either mad as hell at me or scared of me.

I really enjoyed watching these stuffed shirts squirm. I would pay to do it again.