Step-Parent Adoption- Kansas

[Holdontolove]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kansas
I will try and keep this quick and simple:
I am bio mom. Children by ex boyfriend are 16 and 13 years old. Never married. Father is not on birth certificate. No child support. Custody order stating no visitation and no child support (father incarcerated at time of custody order). One phone call a week allowed. Custody order established in 2008. Father released from prison in 2010 and off parole 2013. No modification to custody order. I married in 2007, been together with step-father since kids were 18 months and 4.5, stepfather has been dad to children- in all aspects. Token Christmas cards and gift card every other year. No other gifts. Children have refused contact with bio dad for 3 years now. No effort on bio dads part except occasional texts. Last visit was in 2007- now 2016. Bio father contesting step parent adoption by claiming ownership of children (his words- not mine).
What's our chances of getting parental rights terminated and step-parent adoption granted?

 

[Proserpina]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Kansas
I will try and keep this quick and simple:
I am bio mom. Children by ex boyfriend are 16 and 13 years old. Never married. Father is not on birth certificate. No child support. Custody order stating no visitation and no child support (father incarcerated at time of custody order). One phone call a week allowed. Custody order established in 2008. Father released from prison in 2010 and off parole 2013. No modification to custody order. I married in 2007, been together with step-father since kids were 18 months and 4.5, stepfather has been dad to children- in all aspects. Token Christmas cards and gift card every other year. No other gifts. Children have refused contact with bio dad for 3 years now. No effort on bio dads part except occasional texts. Last visit was in 2007- now 2016. Bio father contesting step parent adoption by claiming ownership of children (his words- not mine).
What's our chances of getting parental rights terminated and step-parent adoption granted?

This is one you need to ask your attorney.

 

[Holdontolove]

I have talked to several attorneys over the years and they all had different opinions. I plan on speaking to another very soon. But just wanted some outsider input too.

 

[I'mTheFather]

I have talked to several attorneys over the years and they all had different opinions. I plan on speaking to another very soon. But just wanted some outsider input too.

Outsider input would be useless. Based on your post, it could go either way. A local attorney is better able to determine the climate of the court in these cases.

 

[Holdontolove]

Okay- thank you! I will speak to another attorney. The children want the adoption to be finalized. I suppose my biggest fear has been starting the adoption and bio father gets granted rights to be involved after all these years and the risks involved to the children-physically, emotionally, and mentally.

 

[I'mTheFather]

Okay- thank you! I will speak to another attorney. The children want the adoption to be finalized. I suppose my biggest fear has been starting the adoption and bio father gets granted rights to be involved after all these years and the risks involved to the children-physically, emotionally, and mentally.

And that is a very real possibility. All the more reason to work with an attorney.

Good Luck to your family!

 

[Holdontolove]

Thank you very much!

 

[LdiJ]

Okay- thank you! I will speak to another attorney. The children want the adoption to be finalized. I suppose my biggest fear has been starting the adoption and bio father gets granted rights to be involved after all these years and the risks involved to the children-physically, emotionally, and mentally.

Then why poke the bear by trying for an adoption at all?

 

[Zigner]

And that is a very real possibility. All the more reason to work with an attorney.

And a therapist for the children.

 

[single317dad]

Custody order stating no visitation and no child support (father incarcerated at time of custody order). One phone call a week allowed. Custody order established in 2008.

Father released from prison in 2010 and off parole 2013. No modification to custody order.

Children have refused contact with bio dad for 3 years now.

Bio father contesting step parent adoption

my biggest fear has been starting the adoption and bio father gets granted rights to be involved after all these years

Based on the facts as related by you, I think if you take this to court over Dad's objections, you might be in for a surprise: namely, that Dad already has rights, and that you're not doing your job as a co-parent by allowing the children to violate the existing court order.

Now, if you posted this on a father's rights website, you'd be roasted. I'm not that guy. I imagine Dad really is a deadbeat, and most of this problem is his fault. I had an absent father of my own, and now my son has a mostly absent mother, so I can imagine what your life is like.

But judges are very clear on one thing if nothing else: their order are just that, orders, and not suggestions. That Dad hasn't exercised the contact he was granted regularly isn't very important; that you allow the kids to ignore him now is. I don't like your chances in court.

 

[Holdontolove]

I understand what you are saying. It's a question that we always approach as well. But it's come to the point, that they feel they need this closure and security to move onto the next chapter in their lives. As teenagers becoming young men, they need this and are old enough know to have their opinions respected and heard. It's not just what we want know- their opinion and thoughts need to be considered whole heartedly and they want the only dad they have ever really know to be their dad in every way possible which would include future security and a official name change.

 

[Holdontolove]

When they started to discontinue contact with their bio dad, we spoke to a local attorney who informed us we couldn't be held responsible for them choosing not to communicate with him. They are old enough to make that decision and we can't force them too.

 

[Silverplum]

When they started to discontinue contact with their bio dad, we spoke to a local attorney who informed us we couldn't be held responsible for them choosing not to communicate with him. They are old enough to make that decision and we can't force them too.

Wow. You found an attorney to give that answer: perhaps the local family courts don't care about court orders.

 

[Holdontolove]

Perhaps they don't. I am not the attorney, just stating what I was told. The custody order was from 2008 and hasn't been modified since. Please explain how I am suppose to force words out of a 13 year and 16 year olds mouths. Especially since bio dad doesn't call, only texts and asks if they want to talk and when asked they say no.

 

[Proserpina]

Perhaps they don't. I am not the attorney, just stating what I was told. The custody order was from 2008 and hasn't been modified since. Please explain how I am suppose to force words out of a 13 year and 16 year olds mouths. Especially since bio dad doesn't call, only texts and asks if they want to talk and when asked they say no.

Oh that one is easy.

You tell them that they will speak to their father, or face the consequences for not doing what you've told them to do. Don't forget who the parent is here.

There. Easy.