Step-Parent Adoption

[LdiJ]

In theory, yes. In practice? I don't know. Does anyone have any experience with such a situation? It seems odd to me that a judge would take children away from the father who has been with them their entire life to give them to someone who has been their mother for a shorter period.

Maybe in extreme cases - she comes into their lives when they're young and she is the primary caregiver - by a wide margin.


Then there's the other side. If I were marrying someone who wanted to adopt the kids solely so she could try to take them away from me in the event of a divorce, I'd be very cautious.

Once an adoption takes place a judge CANNOT make a custody decision based on the fact that one parent has been a parent longer than the other. They are both equally parents and the same best interest standards will apply as if the adoptive parent gave birth to the children.

Its also absolutely untrue that if something happens to her husband she would have a decent shot at custody if she does not adopt the children. She absolutely would not. Both sets of grandparents plus aunts and uncles would have a far better shot at custody than a stepparent in that scenario.

Stepparents are basically at the bottom of the list unless the children's relatives would not contest the stepparent having custody.

You make a valid point that a parent should be cautious in allowing their spouse to adopt their children, but there is nothing in this thread to indicate that the couple are on the verge of divorcing. In fact, it sounds like the couple has been together for quite some time, have recently married and that is why adoption is now desired.

Yes, I do have direct knowledge of a case. A family friend got custody of his toddler child when his ex wife was killed in a car accident. A few years later his wife adopted the child. When the child was about 10 they divorced, and mom got primary custody because she was determined to be the child's primary caregiver.

An adoptive parent is a PARENT in every legal sense. A judge cannot consider an adoptive parent to be a second class parent.