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Stepfather Adoption - Abandonment

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jrmcphail

Junior Member
We are pursuing termination of my daughters' biological father's rights and pursuing adoption for my now husband for the girls. Their biological father meets multiple requirements of Kansas 38-1583 (termination of parental rights, deeming unfit parent). He has made no attempt to contact them in 7 years, and our youngest does not even remember him (she was a baby). He is a felon and has a known drug history, and also domestic violence. The court is now having us pay for an attorney to represent him since he is not able to be located and we served by publication. We thought this would go quicker since he has been an absent father and owes over $10k in child support. This is the 2nd set of children he abandoned (he lost custody of the first 2 for the same reason). I have sole legal and residential custody. My husband has been raising them for 6 years, and this is their father. He abandoned them over 7 years ago, why does he need an attorney to represent him? Our attorney says it's not a bad sign, and that it does mean the decision should have almost zero chance of being overturned. We had just hoped with all of the details, this would not be needed. Our girls deserve so much better, and I don't want this to go the wrong way. So many children have no father, or a deadbeat father much to the dismay of the courts, and when there is a good father in the picture, this happens?:mad:
 


Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
We are pursuing termination of my daughters' biological father's rights and pursuing adoption for my now husband for the girls. Their biological father meets multiple requirements of Kansas 38-1583 (termination of parental rights, deeming unfit parent). He has made no attempt to contact them in 7 years, and our youngest does not even remember him (she was a baby). He is a felon and has a known drug history, and also domestic violence. The court is now having us pay for an attorney to represent him since he is not able to be located and we served by publication. We thought this would go quicker since he has been an absent father and owes over $10k in child support. This is the 2nd set of children he abandoned (he lost custody of the first 2 for the same reason). I have sole legal and residential custody. My husband has been raising them for 6 years, and this is their father. He abandoned them over 7 years ago, why does he need an attorney to represent him? Our attorney says it's not a bad sign, and that it does mean the decision should have almost zero chance of being overturned. We had just hoped with all of the details, this would not be needed. Our girls deserve so much better, and I don't want this to go the wrong way. So many children have no father, or a deadbeat father much to the dismay of the courts, and when there is a good father in the picture, this happens?:mad:

How could we, a bunch of random strangers on the internet, possibly give you any better information than your attorney? If you don't trust your attorney, then it's time to find a new attorney.
 

jrmcphail

Junior Member
How could we, a bunch of random strangers on the internet, possibly give you any better information than your attorney? If you don't trust your attorney, then it's time to find a new attorney.

I probably should have clarified somewhere in my post that this was more of a feedback of experience request versus a non-trust issue with the attorney. Not so much looking at this as random stranger advice, but more of a "day in the life" if anyone has experience in this arena. I do appreciate the feedback on sounding like I do not trust the attorney, as I don't want to seem like that is in question. As an individual, I tend to have miss-trust issues, and that sometimes sets the tone of my conversation intentional or not. I think as an attorney he has been forthcoming and explanatory. Any experience on how this court request has affected others would be greatly appreciated.
 

Zigner

Senior Member, Non-Attorney
I probably should have clarified somewhere in my post that this was more of a feedback of experience request versus a non-trust issue with the attorney. Not so much looking at this as random stranger advice, but more of a "day in the life" if anyone has experience in this arena. I do appreciate the feedback on sounding like I do not trust the attorney, as I don't want to seem like that is in question. As an individual, I tend to have miss-trust issues, and that sometimes sets the tone of my conversation intentional or not. I think as an attorney he has been forthcoming and explanatory. Any experience on how this court request has affected others would be greatly appreciated.

I still don't understand. Is yours a legal question regarding the need for dad to have an attorney appointed? If so, then speak to your attorney. If that's not your question...well then, you didn't ask a question.
 

jrmcphail

Junior Member
I still don't understand. Is yours a legal question regarding the need for dad to have an attorney appointed? If so, then speak to your attorney. If that's not your question...well then, you didn't ask a question.

My question is for those who have been through this request before. Has it typically ended in favor of the adoption, or has this provided a forum for biological parents to come back into the lives of children who they abandoned? I wanted to see what individual experiences have been. The attorney feels good about it, and actually has experience with this other attorney, who he sounds positive about. I want to see what individuals have gone through on the custodial parent side, and if this was positive for them.
 

Proserpina

Senior Member
My question is for those who have been through this request before. Has it typically ended in favor of the adoption, or has this provided a forum for biological parents to come back into the lives of children who they abandoned? I wanted to see what individual experiences have been. The attorney feels good about it, and actually has experience with this other attorney, who he sounds positive about. I want to see what individuals have gone through on the custodial parent side, and if this was positive for them.

This forum deals with the legalities only; it's not a support site.
 

stealth2

Under the Radar Member
I doubt that you will find much feedback from parents in KS with experience in SP adoption.

It sounds as though your attorney has a good handle on things, and I would rely on his input & positivity.
 

NellieBly

Member
As distasteful as it is, the absent biological father has rights as well.

Think of this as making sure all the i's are dotted, so he can't come back and want to undo things.
 

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