Christinaja
Junior Member
Kansas
I am a mom of a 9 year old girl. I separated(while pregnant) from my ex husband prior to my daughter's birth due to abusive tendencies by my ex. While he was not physically violent, he wa sshowing signs of escalating towards violence, and I did not want to be a statistic. During our separation, I attempted to involve my ex in the pregnancy. My thought was that just because we were separated, it didn't mean he got off the hook for being a father. However, he showed zero interest. Due to the laws of the state in which I lived at the time(Missouri), I could not pursue divorce while pregnant, so when my daughter was a year old, the divorce was completed and finalized. In the interim, I had met a very nice man, and he has been there since the day my daughter wa born(literally) and was even responsible for purchasing a lot of the baby things she would need. She has grown up knowing him as Daddy. We were legally married a year after the finalization of my divorce.
Under the terms of our divorce decree and custody arrangement, my ex was to pay $290 a month in child support, carry health insurance on our daughter and provide an insurance card to me for her, and we would have joint legal custody with me having sole physical custody. He had visitation rights granted of every other weekend, and rotating holidays.
Over the years, he has not seen our daughter even once. The one time I took her to visit his grandparents, I got a very nasty call from him, and got called names I don't want to repeat here. I have tried contacting him about seeing her, and he still shows no interest. He has been less than forthcoming with insurance information, which is important because my daughter is also autistic. The child support is the least of my concerns, and although I can ask for an increase every three years, I never have. Most recently, he sent me a friend request on Facebook, and then blew up at me over me removing him from my friends list due to a photo he posted that used the word "retarded" as an epithet.
Last night, I had a conversation with my daughter about whether or not she is interested in seeing him. She is high-functioning, and understands what is going on. She has been aware for the last year that he is her biological father even though my husband has been her daddy. She has absolutely no interest in my ex, and I think it would be better for her to not have him in her life. I want to do a TPR and my husband wants to adopt her. It is my thought that my ex-husband's presence in her life would be disruptive and detrimental, and if something were to happen to me, I would want her to go to someone that knows and loves her rather than a complete stranger that clearly doesn't care about her.
Here are my questions:
Would this kind of behavior by my ex qualify as emotional abandonment, and would a termination of parental rights be viable here? I do not think he would have an objection to the adoption...he is more concerned about money.
I am a mom of a 9 year old girl. I separated(while pregnant) from my ex husband prior to my daughter's birth due to abusive tendencies by my ex. While he was not physically violent, he wa sshowing signs of escalating towards violence, and I did not want to be a statistic. During our separation, I attempted to involve my ex in the pregnancy. My thought was that just because we were separated, it didn't mean he got off the hook for being a father. However, he showed zero interest. Due to the laws of the state in which I lived at the time(Missouri), I could not pursue divorce while pregnant, so when my daughter was a year old, the divorce was completed and finalized. In the interim, I had met a very nice man, and he has been there since the day my daughter wa born(literally) and was even responsible for purchasing a lot of the baby things she would need. She has grown up knowing him as Daddy. We were legally married a year after the finalization of my divorce.
Under the terms of our divorce decree and custody arrangement, my ex was to pay $290 a month in child support, carry health insurance on our daughter and provide an insurance card to me for her, and we would have joint legal custody with me having sole physical custody. He had visitation rights granted of every other weekend, and rotating holidays.
Over the years, he has not seen our daughter even once. The one time I took her to visit his grandparents, I got a very nasty call from him, and got called names I don't want to repeat here. I have tried contacting him about seeing her, and he still shows no interest. He has been less than forthcoming with insurance information, which is important because my daughter is also autistic. The child support is the least of my concerns, and although I can ask for an increase every three years, I never have. Most recently, he sent me a friend request on Facebook, and then blew up at me over me removing him from my friends list due to a photo he posted that used the word "retarded" as an epithet.
Last night, I had a conversation with my daughter about whether or not she is interested in seeing him. She is high-functioning, and understands what is going on. She has been aware for the last year that he is her biological father even though my husband has been her daddy. She has absolutely no interest in my ex, and I think it would be better for her to not have him in her life. I want to do a TPR and my husband wants to adopt her. It is my thought that my ex-husband's presence in her life would be disruptive and detrimental, and if something were to happen to me, I would want her to go to someone that knows and loves her rather than a complete stranger that clearly doesn't care about her.
Here are my questions:
Would this kind of behavior by my ex qualify as emotional abandonment, and would a termination of parental rights be viable here? I do not think he would have an objection to the adoption...he is more concerned about money.
