Stepparent Adoption

[questioningmom]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Georgia

I have a seven year old daughter. Her birth father is not in our life. He was very abusive when I was pregnant however I have no proof other than scars on my body. I never called the police, I simply left. When she was born, they went nuts at the hospital and he refused to sign the birth certificate because I refused to give her his last name. The last time he saw her was December of 2004, when she was 1 year old. Since then we have heard from him a few times, asking for pictures or threatening to come by our house. He made a few threats I can't prove threatening to kidnap and kill her just to hurt me.

Since then I have married and my new husband has raised her as his own. We would like for him to adopt her. I have contact information for my ex and her birth father but I know he will say no just out of spite. Is there a way for my husband to adopt her or are we out of luck. Let me also mention he has never paid child support or supported her in any way but if you ask him why he says it's because of me.

 

[MominCarolina]

When is the last time Dad contacted you?

 

[questioningmom]

The last time he saw her was December 18, 2004, we heard from him again in 2006 and recently in 2010 on myspace asking for pictures.

 

[Proserpina]

The last time he saw her was December 18, 2004, we heard from him again in 2006 and recently in 2010 on myspace asking for pictures.

I strongly recommend you speak with a local adoption attorney.

If Dad (assuming he's legally established as Dad at this point) now wants contact, he may be able to successfully prevent the adoption.

 

[questioningmom]

He has not been legally established as dad. Not signed the birth certificate. Not established paternity. Both of us just know he is the father of her.

 

[MominCarolina]

When in 2010 did he contact you...and how did he contact you?

 

[questioningmom]

It was September, I believe the 12th and it was on myspace asking when her birthday was (the 27th) and if he could have a picture.

 

[Proserpina]

GA requires that paternity be legally established before an adoption can take place.

That means Dad would have to also legitimize the child (a separate proceeding unique to Georgia), and have paternity established.

Seriously, you need to be speaking to an attorney who can guide you further.

There's a neat little synopsis on the actual law at this site (which belongs to an attorney, but it's still valid information).

Stepparent Adoption in Georgia :: Atlanta Divorce Attorney Blog

 

[questioningmom]

I'm going to have to. I don't see him actually going through the process of doing the dna and all th at. I just think if he can be difficult he will be.

 

[Proserpina]

I'm going to have to. I don't see him actually going through the process of doing the dna and all th at. I just think if he can be difficult he will be.

You could always gently remind him that adoption would release him from any future child support obligation.


As distasteful as I find it, that can be one very tempting dangling carrot.

(I'm probably going to get jumped on for saying that)

 

[Isis1]

Mom, i might get shot for saying this, file for support. Establish paternity. Don't do it through the state. The no contact/no support clock doesn't start ticking until paternity is established.

A few things can happen.

One, dad gets all gun hoe about being a responsible dad, tries, makes mistakes, gets sidetracted, starts all over, cycle keeps going for better or worse.

Two, dad freaks out over the child support order, decides to sign over parents rights.

Three, dad freaks out, calms down, pays the child support but figures to punish you stops contact

Four, files for full custody to scare you into stopping the child support. Finds out it doesn't work, bails.

Five, turns out to be a great dad and coparent with your help.

Life surprises you sometimes.

 

[haiku]

Or you can just let a sleeping dog lie....