stepparent adoption

[whitsmom]

In Florida...my husband of 5 1/2 years would like to adopt my almost 11 year old daughter. Her bio dad has been ordered to pay support since last august and has paid none. Bio dad only asks to see her maybe once or twice a year and might call her 4 times a year, last time he saw her was in May this year and we again have no way to contact him. (This is typical...he will disapear for months and then DEMAND to see her then disapear again...been like this for years.) He always forgets her birthday and Christmas. There is no visitation order (we were never married.)

He agreed to sign adoption papers in January, he even told our daughter he was doing it, then sent them back with 'not so nice' words written all over them. We already had my daughter's last name changed to my married name, with bio dad there from jail to contest it two years ago, and the judge allowed it due to his absence in her life.

Would a judge allow an adoption due to the fact that another court saw fit to change her name two years ago under the circumstances and the circumstances have not changed for the better as far as his contact with her? He was even given a chance to show his concern for her via support one year ago and has chosen not to pay it. We ony live 30 minutes away from him so location isn't an issue.

As far as my daughter is concerned, my husband is her dad...she doesn't have hard feelings toward her bio dad...just knows he just isn't the "daddy"type. Do we have a shot at adoption without him voluntarily signing the forms?

 

[LegalBeagle]

In Florida...my husband of 5 1/2 years would like to adopt my almost 11 year old daughter. Her bio dad has been ordered to pay support since last august and has paid none. Bio dad only asks to see her maybe once or twice a year and might call her 4 times a year, last time he saw her was in May this year and we again have no way to contact him. (This is typical...he will disapear for months and then DEMAND to see her then disapear again...been like this for years.) He always forgets her birthday and Christmas. There is no visitation order (we were never married.)

He agreed to sign adoption papers in January, he even told our daughter he was doing it, then sent them back with 'not so nice' words written all over them. We already had my daughter's last name changed to my married name, with bio dad there from jail to contest it two years ago, and the judge allowed it due to his absence in her life.

Would a judge allow an adoption due to the fact that another court saw fit to change her name two years ago under the circumstances and the circumstances have not changed for the better as far as his contact with her? He was even given a chance to show his concern for her via support one year ago and has chosen not to pay it. We ony live 30 minutes away from him so location isn't an issue.

As far as my daughter is concerned, my husband is her dad...she doesn't have hard feelings toward her bio dad...just knows he just isn't the "daddy"type. Do we have a shot at adoption without him voluntarily signing the forms?

These are always difficult questions to answer. Do you have a chance?, yes.. how good is your 'chance'? no idea.. it could all come down to the judge but generally speaking, if the bio father does not consent to the adoption, it generally does not happen. Consult a local attorney.

 

[whitsmom]

thanks LB...one more question

thanks LB...I took your advice and called a local atty who gave me some info...just FYI...he says the chance is remote at best if he won't consent, generally speaking bio dad is within his rights to see her and call her as infrequently as he wants to...child support is a seperate issue, it does show lack of concern, but he will eventually get caught and have to face the consequences of nonpayment

...HOWEVER if he doesn't contact her in 12 consecutive months (and I haven't moved or changed my phone number so he can't contact her) and doesn't pay support during that time we have a better chance...still remote and difficult to prove abandonment

Would like your opinion on something, I didn't ask this local guy because it might be a legal 'no no'...is it unheard of to offer him limited contact with her in an adoption (such as bi-yearly visits or allow her to phone him) and also excuse the back support...this won't change the current situation of his on and off contact and not paying support, but at least we would have more control over his just "showing up" out of the blue and allow my husband to be legally responsible for her in all aspects, such as insurance and social security? My daughter understands the gist of what has been going on and it seems very important to her to "belong" to the daddy who "wants" her (her words not mine...we don't bad mouth bio dad in front of her, she is old enough to see who is present and who is not.) He might go for something like this voluntarily. what do ya think??

I can have a typing service do the forms up for a hundred and fifty bucks so if he refuses that too I'm not out anything I can't afford to lose. I just don't want to look like a jerk in front of the judge asking for an adoption where the bio dad can still have contact if this is something that just "isn't done." thanks for your input...kim

 

[LegalBeagle]

You can indeed have an adoption with conditions. Just make sure the visitation dates and all details of the condition are exact and not open to discussion.

 

[whitsmom]

thanks

thanks again...glad to hear that this is do-able...i think it's worth a try...i think we can come up with something specific enough regarding the contact so there is no room for question...hopefully he will agree that everyone 'wins' this way...he can stay in contact but have no financial obligation, we can be free of the "pop ins," and whit gets her legal daddy...i will let you know how it turns out...wish me luck!

 

[LegalBeagle]

Re: thanks

wish me luck!

Always.. Good luck..