Stepparents listed as pick up from school

[TxPE2011]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tx

I am custodial parent and have exclusive right to education.

Father wants stepmom listed as emergency contact and authorized pick up.

As the custodial parent, I believe that the emergency contact should be
1. Someone close by that can reach the child quickly
2. Someone that will communicate with me once I am able to be reached

I currently do not have my husband listed as emergency contact nor is he authorized to pick up. I believe that if someone is going to pick up my child when I can't, a simple phone call to the daycare can be made stating 'Xx is picking up child today'

Dad only picks up on Thursday's and every other Friday. I list him as the second call if I am not reachable and to pick up on thursday and every other Friday. Isn't it fair to also list his wife under his name for Thursday and eofriday?

He wants her listed as emergency.

Am I wrong to list grandma instead?

On Thursday, his parenting time does not begin until school is dismissed ending when school resumes on Friday. Every other Friday his parenting time begins when school is dismissed and ending on Monday when school resumes.
So 'technically' Thursday during school and Friday during school is not his parenting time, so why would I list his wife as emergency on those days.

I don't want a big fight but I think his request is petty and causes too much drama at the school.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[proud_parent]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tx

I am custodial parent and have exclusive right to education.

Father wants stepmom listed as emergency contact and authorized pick up.

As the custodial parent, I believe that the emergency contact should be
1. Someone close by that can reach the child quickly
2. Someone that will communicate with me once I am able to be reached

I currently do not have my husband listed as emergency contact nor is he authorized to pick up. I believe that if someone is going to pick up my child when I can't, a simple phone call to the daycare can be made stating 'Xx is picking up child today'

Dad only picks up on Thursday's and every other Friday. I list him as the second call if I am not reachable and to pick up on thursday and every other Friday. Isn't it fair to also list his wife under his name for Thursday and eofriday?

He wants her listed as emergency.

Am I wrong to list grandma instead?

On Thursday, his parenting time does not begin until school is dismissed ending when school resumes on Friday. Every other Friday his parenting time begins when school is dismissed and ending on Monday when school resumes.
So 'technically' Thursday during school and Friday during school is not his parenting time, so why would I list his wife as emergency on those days.

I don't want a big fight but I think his request is petty and causes too much drama at the school.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

And who would create this drama?

Is "Grandma" your mother, or Dad's mother?

Can both Grandma and Stepmom be listed as emergency contacts/authorized pickups? (My district asks for three such contacts, in addition to the parents/legal guardians.)

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tx

I am custodial parent and have exclusive right to education.

Father wants stepmom listed as emergency contact and authorized pick up.

As the custodial parent, I believe that the emergency contact should be
1. Someone close by that can reach the child quickly
2. Someone that will communicate with me once I am able to be reached

I currently do not have my husband listed as emergency contact nor is he authorized to pick up. I believe that if someone is going to pick up my child when I can't, a simple phone call to the daycare can be made stating 'Xx is picking up child today'

Dad only picks up on Thursday's and every other Friday. I list him as the second call if I am not reachable and to pick up on thursday and every other Friday. Isn't it fair to also list his wife under his name for Thursday and eofriday?

He wants her listed as emergency.

Am I wrong to list grandma instead?

On Thursday, his parenting time does not begin until school is dismissed ending when school resumes on Friday. Every other Friday his parenting time begins when school is dismissed and ending on Monday when school resumes.
So 'technically' Thursday during school and Friday during school is not his parenting time, so why would I list his wife as emergency on those days.

I don't want a big fight but I think his request is petty and causes too much drama at the school.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

The daycare and school do NOT have a right to prohibit dad from picking up HIS child. If they attempt that they could find themselves being arrested. And should be arrested quite frankly.

 

[mistoffolees]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Tx

I am custodial parent and have exclusive right to education.

Father wants stepmom listed as emergency contact and authorized pick up.

As the custodial parent, I believe that the emergency contact should be
1. Someone close by that can reach the child quickly
2. Someone that will communicate with me once I am able to be reached

I currently do not have my husband listed as emergency contact nor is he authorized to pick up. I believe that if someone is going to pick up my child when I can't, a simple phone call to the daycare can be made stating 'Xx is picking up child today'

Dad only picks up on Thursday's and every other Friday. I list him as the second call if I am not reachable and to pick up on thursday and every other Friday. Isn't it fair to also list his wife under his name for Thursday and eofriday?

He wants her listed as emergency.

Am I wrong to list grandma instead?

On Thursday, his parenting time does not begin until school is dismissed ending when school resumes on Friday. Every other Friday his parenting time begins when school is dismissed and ending on Monday when school resumes.
So 'technically' Thursday during school and Friday during school is not his parenting time, so why would I list his wife as emergency on those days.

I don't want a big fight but I think his request is petty and causes too much drama at the school.What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

I'd suggest that your first step is to drop the power struggle and/or bitterness.

The emergency contact is someone that the school or daycare can get in touch with in the event of an emergency. Ideally, it should be someone who the child is familiar with and who can be there with the child if either parent can't be there.

Logically, both Mom and Dad should absolutely be listed. By not listing Dad, you are starting down the path of alienation.

Then, if Mom and Dad aren't available for some reason (or are far enough away that it will take some time to get there), why wouldn't step-parents be a logical person to include?

I think you're the one creating the drama.

 

[CJane]

The daycare and school do NOT have a right to prohibit dad from picking up HIS child. If they attempt that they could find themselves being arrested. And should be arrested quite frankly.

I disagree.

I have yet to see a single piece of case law or statute to back up the assertion that a daycare refusing to release a child to a parent when it's clearly not their day - per the court order that they have on file - will result in any police involvement.

In fact, I've witnessed a judge telling someone that a court order RESTRICTS your time with the child as much as it PROTECTS it, and if it's not your day, you have NO inherent right to pick the child up from school or daycare w/out the permission of the other parent.

 

[CJane]

I'd suggest that your first step is to drop the power struggle and/or bitterness.

The emergency contact is someone that the school or daycare can get in touch with in the event of an emergency. Ideally, it should be someone who the child is familiar with and who can be there with the child if either parent can't be there.

Logically, both Mom and Dad should absolutely be listed. By not listing Dad, you are starting down the path of alienation.

Dad is listed as a parent. He's not listed as an emergency contact. They WILL call the parents first, per OP's post.

Then, if Mom and Dad aren't available for some reason (or are far enough away that it will take some time to get there), why wouldn't step-parents be a logical person to include?

Mom's question relates to Grandma being listed because she can be there quickly and will communicate what is going on.

Perhaps, based on that, StepMom or StepDad cannot be there as quickly as Grandma, and perhaps StepMom won't communicate with Mom.

 

[Ohiogal]

I disagree.

I have yet to see a single piece of case law or statute to back up the assertion that a daycare refusing to release a child to a parent when it's clearly not their day - per the court order that they have on file - will result in any police involvement.

In fact, I've witnessed a judge telling someone that a court order RESTRICTS your time with the child as much as it PROTECTS it, and if it's not your day, you have NO inherent right to pick the child up from school or daycare w/out the permission of the other parent.

It is called interference with custody. End of story. Any parent denied by a school or daycare to get their child unless there is a restraining order on file should IMMEDIATELY call the police and file a police report and then go to the prosecutor's office and press criminal charges against the individual interfering with their relationship with their child.Oh and I have posted the law for Ohio numerous times so if you have not read it, that is on you. Here it is again: 3109.051 -- read the whole section. NCPs in Ohio have the same rights as a CP when it comes to school and daycare and access to the child.

 

[CJane]

It is called interference with custody. End of story. Any parent denied by a school or daycare to get their child unless there is a restraining order on file should IMMEDIATELY call the police and file a police report and then go to the prosecutor's office and press criminal charges against the individual interfering with their relationship with their child.Oh and I have posted the law for Ohio numerous times so if you have not read it, that is on you. Here it is again: 3109.051 -- read the whole section. NCPs in Ohio have the same rights as a CP when it comes to school and daycare and access to the child.

And I'm disagreeing with you that criminal charges would ever happen or an arrest be made.

And OP is in TX.

 

[Ohiogal]

And I'm disagreeing with you that criminal charges would ever happen or an arrest be made.

And OP is in TX.

OP may be in TX but you stated you have never seen statute. If you haven't then that is because you have not read the statute I have posted. And yes criminal charges can happen and these legal strangers CAN be arrested.

 

[CJane]

OP may be in TX but you stated you have never seen statute. If you haven't then that is because you have not read the statute I have posted. And yes criminal charges can happen and these legal strangers CAN be arrested.

Have you ever met a single person who has been arrested and charged with custodial interference for not allowing a parent to pick up their child from daycare when there is a clear court order saying it's not their day?

Ever?

 

[mistoffolees]

Dad is listed as a parent. He's not listed as an emergency contact. They WILL call the parents first, per OP's post.

However, Mom says that Dad is not listed as having authority to pick the child up. Whether the school has to follow that or not, Mom is clearly interfering with Dad's rights.

Mom's question relates to Grandma being listed because she can be there quickly and will communicate what is going on.

Perhaps, based on that, StepMom or StepDad cannot be there as quickly as Grandma, and perhaps StepMom won't communicate with Mom.

We don't know that. All we know is that Mom is doing everything she can to cut Dad out of the kid's life (not authorized to pick the child up? Give me a break). It looks to me like clear parental alienation.

 

[st-kitts]

I disagree.

I have yet to see a single piece of case law or statute to back up the assertion that a daycare refusing to release a child to a parent when it's clearly not their day - per the court order that they have on file - will result in any police involvement.

OG likes the hyberbole on this particular issue. Police involvement resulting in arrest wouldn't occur in GA. i would place a hefty wager it wouldn't in TX either. I do appreciate OG bringing the issue up though. I made sure my decree was very clear on this point... thanks to her rhetoric...

 

[summerdawn]

This isn't legal advice, per se, but the way our school does it is this: I have my own emergency card and dad has his. My contacts are on my card and dad's contacts, including stepmom, dad's parents, stepmom's mom, etc. are on his. The school knows I live (much) closer and I am the one who is involved in their education, so in case of emergency they automatically go through my emergency card first. In the event that they couldn't get ahold of anyone on it, then they would move to dad's emergency card. That hasn't happened yet because I am a stay at home mom and I have been available every time, but in the case that nobody on my card was available at least I know they have other people to call now. If your school would allow you to do two separate emergency cards you could both put whoever you wanted to on each card and maybe everyone would be happy. I didn't even ask my school to do it that way, that is automatically how they handle cases in which both parents live in different homes. ...just a suggestion to kind of meet in the middle...

 

[TxPE2011]

I think I might not have been clear. I apologize for that if so.

CJane you understood my post as I meant it.

Dad and I both are listed as the parents of our daughter. Dad would be contacted second to me or first to me, whichever they call first. I would think with the attached document that I am the custodial, they would contact me and if I can't be reached they would call dad.

If dad or I are not available, they list one line to contact an 'emergency contact' if dad nor I can be reached. I listed my mom. If dad's mom lived in the state, county or city, I might have listed her. My reasoning for listing my
Mom is that she is available and is near the school. I am closer than dad is to the school during the day while we are working. I also know that my mom will make attempts to contact both dad and I until one of us is reached to let us know that there was an emergency and that she has our daughter.

Dad asked who I listed. I told him the two of us and my mom. He said, why didn't you list my wife? I said that I didn't list either of our spouses. He told me to change it to his wife. I haven't responded because I am trying to reach a decision on how to handle without a power struggle, without it ending in a fight. If I was in a power struggle, I would have listed my husband to begin with.

Our order states that each parent can designate a competent adult to pick up when we are not available. CP and NCP should contact the other in the event that they will be designating someone else for pick up at each pick up.

Also states: Notice To school: all times specifically listed are those of the possessory conservator. All other times are to be deemed the managing conservator's time. All orders of this court shall be followed by all parties and administrators of the child's school/preschool/daycare. Possessory conservator shall be granted access to the child when school regularly dismisses on the days that are listed as that parents access time. If the possessory conservator does not intend to return the child to school when school resumes on a day that is the possessory conservator's time, PC shall contact the school and MC immediately.

I am not keeping dad from his child, the order is quite clear, dad can only pick up the child on his days.

It might have come out as bitter or controlling but I'm really only asking so that I don't sound that way when I respond to him. Your comments 'power struggle, starting drama, parental alienation' are much appreciated because these are not how I want to come off when I respond.

I am considering this: I will list three contacts on a seperate sheet of paper. Grandma, stepdad, stepmom, in alphabetical order so that there is no arguing that both stepparents are listed and grandma is listed (the most available and closest during the day).

But just as a side note, since I have all rights to education, wouldn't I have rights to list who ever I want? Excluding dad because obviously he has an exclusive right to be listed as an emergency contact on all paperwork. I list him as a parent not as an emergency 'only'.

And to clarify, I am only asking these questions because this is the first time I have had to list dad. He was on supervised visits and stepmom had a protective order for 4 years. Now that its all lifted and we are heading down a new road, I am just full of questions. AND furthermore, it was my decision to ask that we start the step up program to integrate dad and his family back into her (our daughter) life. This isn't about control or bitterness. I am glad we are getting back to a normal life of shared parenting and having him involved in his daughter's life. I am just worried of how it will look to him. I'm really trying to watch 'how' I respond and making sure I don't look all the things that were mentioned because it is honestly not how I feel. That's why I appreciate the honesty so much.

Thanks!!

 

[TxPE2011]

I currently do not have my husband listed as emergency contact nor is he authorized to pick up. I believe that if someone is going to pick up my child when I can't, a simple phone call to the daycare can be made stating 'Xx is picking up child today'

Is this possibly what confused the situation?

My husband- stepdad

Dad- my daughter's dad

I cant understand what part of my post sounded like I was cutting dad out.

Dad is listed as her parent and ALL of his information is listed. Address. 3 phone #'s, email, employer and address.

Dad is not left off.

My husband, stepdad is not listed at all as contact or pick up.

Does that help understand? I'm sorry if it was not clearly written.