Suggestions?

[wnbama]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ALABAMA

Background:
https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/visitation-guidelines-419744.html

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/step-mother-hell-going-slong-393569.html

I go back to court in about 3 weeks. I am hoping this will be last time for a while.

I need help wording the bolden portion of the visitation guidelines we will propose:

WEEKENDS: Except during the time periods identified as Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring breaks, as well as summer visitation, the NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT shall have visitation the 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends from Friday at 6 p.m. until Sunday at 6 p.m. When the month starts on Friday, which would be the 1st weekend and when the month ends on Saturday or Sunday that would be the 5th weekend of the month.

Can anyone give me any in put on the difference in EOW vs 1st, 3rd & 5th weekends, if one if better than the other?

Any advice would be great! Thanks!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Silverplum]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? ALABAMA

Background:
https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/visitation-guidelines-419744.html

https://forum.freeadvice.com/child-custody-visitation-37/step-mother-hell-going-slong-393569.html

I go back to court in about 3 weeks. I am hoping this will be last time for a while.

I need help wording the bolden portion of the visitation guidelines we will propose:

WEEKENDS: Except during the time periods identified as Thanksgiving, Christmas and Spring breaks, as well as summer visitation, the NON-CUSTODIAL PARENT shall have visitation the 1st, 3rd and 5th weekends from Friday at 6 p.m. until Sunday at 6 p.m. When the month starts on Friday, which would be the 1st weekend and when the month ends on Saturday or Sunday that would be the 5th weekend of the month.

Can anyone give me any in put on the difference in EOW vs 1st, 3rd & 5th weekends, if one if better than the other?

Any advice would be great! Thanks!What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

You didn't ask for this, but...I hate the word, "visitation," and ALL it implies.

Enlightened states -- perhaps not yours, yet -- use the term, "parenting time."

 

[wnbama]

You didn't ask for this, but...I hate the word, "visitation," and ALL it implies.

Enlightened states -- perhaps not yours, yet -- use the term, "parenting time."

I understand where you are coming from, however, OUR state does not use the term "parenting time" they use "visitation". Alabama is so far behind on these type of things...it might be another century before they come up to date on better "terminology"

Thanks for the input.

 

[Silverplum]

I understand where you are coming from, however, OUR state does not use the term "parenting time" they use "visitation". Alabama is so far behind on these type of things...it might be another century before they come up to date on better "terminology"

Thanks for the input.

You're welcome, though it was not useful.

 

[jbowman]

I have had both EOW and 1st, 3rd and 5th, ordered for my case. We (NCP and I) found issues with the EOW because sometimes things can get confusing if you swap weekends or if a holiday falls in the middle and who belongs to which weekend gets fuzzy.

As long as it is completely understood how 1st and 5th weekends are determined, that seems to be the easiest to work with. You just both have to be COMPLETELY clear. Just my opinion.

 

[wnbama]

I have had both EOW and 1st, 3rd and 5th, ordered for my case. We (NCP and I) found issues with the EOW because sometimes things can get confusing if you swap weekends or if a holiday falls in the middle and who belongs to which weekend gets fuzzy.

As long as it is completely understood how 1st and 5th weekends are determined, that seems to be the easiest to work with. You just both have to be COMPLETELY clear. Just my opinion.

How do you determine the 1st and 5th weekends then?

The NCP in my case (before when I was ALLOWING him visitation) would not swap a weekend with me if I asked if his life depended on it. But he expected me to do it for him. He always got the weekends mixed up as well, that is why I was thinking of the 1st, 3rd and 5th instead of the EOW.

I was thinking about doing a google calendar and sharing it with him or and printing it out to have handy in court if needed, is that a good idea?

 

[jbowman]

Well we determined that if the 1st of the month fell on a Friday or Saturday, then THAT was the first weekend.

If the 1st of the month fell on Sunday, then THAT would be considered the 5th weekend.

We had a problem once when the 1st fell on a Sunday and I just didnt go pick up my child from school because I figured it was the 1st weekend. It was the first time in 12 years that I ever made such a horrible mistake. School called and said "its 6pm, where are you?" I called NCP to berate him and NCP says ITS THE 5TH WEEKEND DUMBASSS - GO GET CHILD!!!

From that time on, we made it VERY CLEAR what was what. A calendar may be very helpful. We didnt need it after we both knew the rule.

 

[Ohiogal]

Count the fridays. If the friday is the first friday of the month that begins the first weekend. The fifth friday begins the fifth weekend. That is the easiest way of determining. There would be times when he would have two weekends in a row.

 

[1confusedmom]

How do you determine the 1st and 5th weekends then?

The NCP in my case (before when I was ALLOWING him visitation) would not swap a weekend with me if I asked if his life depended on it. But he expected me to do it for him. He always got the weekends mixed up as well, that is why I was thinking of the 1st, 3rd and 5th instead of the EOW.

I was thinking about doing a google calendar and sharing it with him or and printing it out to have handy in court if needed, is that a good idea?

Hey Bama-
Before GF came into the picture, I had to do that for EH. I printed up a calendar, outlined his visitation time and then highlighted (using the pc) the holidays and times that the kids would be with him.

Since his mother was the one that kept the kids most of the time when he had them... (he works 20 hr days and is on 24hr call sunday to sunday.. Seriously he works ALL the times)
I even gave her a calendar. It kept the confusion down and when he made plans that didn't involve the kids on his weekends, He couldn't use the excuse that he got the days mixed up. I made sure that I put it on his fridge and everyday when I dropped my daughter off after school, I would go in a put an X on that day.

 

[wnbama]

Count the fridays. If the friday is the first friday of the month that begins the first weekend. The fifth friday begins the fifth weekend. That is the easiest way of determining. There would be times when he would have two weekends in a row.

I understand what you mean by counting the Friday's and he would be getting 2 weekends in a row sometimes.

Since I am dealing with a "not so bright" NCP and EVERYTHING has to be spelled out like you was talking to a 1st grader. How can I word it? Any suggestions would be great!

 

[Ohiogal]

I understand what you mean by counting the Friday's and he would be getting 2 weekends in a row sometimes.

Since I am dealing with a "not so bright" NCP and EVERYTHING has to be spelled out like you was talking to a 1st grader. How can I word it? Any suggestions would be great!

Ex shall be entitled to the first, third, and fifth weekends. A weekend is counted by which Friday it is -- the first Friday in the month begins the first weekend. The second Friday begins the second weekend. Etcetera and so forth.