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Support in Long Duration Marriage

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Customarily

Guest
What is the name of your state? California

What might the amount and duration of Spousal Support be under following circumstance?

23 year marriage
me 52, she 57
Grown son moved away years ago
She was secty/admin til 10 yrs ago, hasn't worked since
She's an extremely well controlled Diabetic in good health
My income $145K/yr

She bought House#1, prior to marriage for $49K in 1975, paid maybe $20K before we married. It's now worth $550K, we own it outright.
Bought House#2 after marriage, now worth $725K, w/ only $180K outstanding principal
$130K cash/CDs, $140K 401k

She wants House#1, 1/2 of all remaining assets (including 1/2 of house #2), medical insurance for life and spousal support ???? (how much for how long).

What's customary? I'd rather relinquish cash up front and forego the continuing payments.
 


Lorane

Member
We live in a world where women have voiced loudly independence. With women's right movement the only fair thing would be 50/50. The laws are totally ignoring that fact that woman have and can exercise that right.

Alimony in this case should be to get her back in the work force. She will get half of your retirement, if this is done legally. She also has 10 years before she can draw SS to work. Granting lifetime alimony is welfare done illegally.

Get a really good lawyer and offer a lump sum $ settlement amount. Avoid being tied to the ex for life. This is shameful that any court would award lifetime alimony to someone not disabled. Many states have all ready stopped this practice. No one needs lifetime care unless they are disabled. I don't care how long you were married, who was at fault for the break-up or how much either one makes. This is non-sense. No one leaves a spouse if it is a happy loving relationship. Period!

Get a really good lawyer.
 

BelizeBreeze

Senior Member
No one can tell you what MAY happen. However, in a case like this where both parties have access to assets NOT part of the marriage, most cases that do allow alimony do so on a 'rehabilitative' basis. That is, limited number of years.

Sit down with your attorney and work out an equitable dissolution of the marital assets (remember, the difference in the value of any pre-marital asset and it's CURRENT value is marital asset) and go from there.
 

Lorane

Member
"The difference in the value of any pre-marital asset and it's CURRENT value is marital asset"
How did the courts come to that decision? If you owned the asset before you married, it should be your asset no matter how much it is worth today. The spouse did not do anything to change the value, so why would its difference in value be of concern.

This is exactly what I have been talking about. Those with excellent work ethics, hard workers, and savers get punished by the system. Those who take advantage of the hard working person get awarded because they were married. There is definitely something wrong with the court system awards.
One should never be awarded for being lazy, an alcolholic, depressed, etc.

The Ex in my husband's case was told to seek counseling. They went for joint counseling and when she was thold that she needed to change, she quit going.

All of these things are public record. She has never worked a forty hour work week in her life and has gotten lifetime alimony. A few weeks ago, she lied on the stand stating that they had agreed the she would not work. It has been verified that they agreed that she would go back to school or get a job after the youngest started school full time. That never happened.

The court system needs good judges who will rule fairly. This is not about the judges it's about families that that can not live together. Dragging court cases out for 4 to 6 years just causes a lot more injury psychologically and financially. This money gets taken away from the children and given to the legal system. It should go to the betterment of the family and should never be one sided. Ever!
 

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