Support Order Change

[wrwiii12]

What is the name of your state? TX Filed in NH

I gained custody of my daughter last year. I used to pay $400 a month for child support. The courts only make the mother pay $50 a month and she doesnt even pay that. She has not paid her 50% of medical bills either. She can't even send a birthday present to the poor little girl. Yet she has visitation 5 weeks out of the year. Is there anything I can do about getting more child support even though the mother refuses to work? How about getting the visitation taken down some.

 

[ceara19]

What is the name of your state? TX Filed in NH

I gained custody of my daughter last year. I used to pay $400 a month for child support. The courts only make the mother pay $50 a month and she doesnt even pay that. She has not paid her 50% of medical bills either. She can't even send a birthday present to the poor little girl. Yet she has visitation 5 weeks out of the year. Is there anything I can do about getting more child support even though the mother refuses to work? How about getting the visitation taken down some.

Child support is NOT an admission fee to visit the child, so cross that idea off your list right now, unless you really want to piss of the Judge. If mom's not paying support as it has been ordered, she is violating the court order and you can start contempt proceedings.

 

[nextwife]

Good grief, how low a salary are they imputing to her to come up with $50 a month? That's less than even minimum wage. She should be imputed a full time salary based on minimum wage, which is the least she's likely to be paid, if she were not voluntarily unemployed.

 

[wrwiii12]

Now don't get me wrong, I'm not looking for a free handout of money. Truthfully, I don't even need it but the point is she lacks her support responsibility as a parent financially and is still allowed to do things that a parent gets to. The mother is a recovering heroin addict and acts like a "gangsta". These are the basis that I was allowed to recieve my daughter because she was swearing, unhealthy, and living with the grandmother. I had to fight both of them in court for three days. To this day the only reason the mother see her daughter is because the grandmother pays for it. The grandmother has to be there to supervise the visits, even though she doesn't. Im sorry if I sound like I am whining its just that I don't think that it is fair that when I was paying child support @ $400 a month I only got to see her 2 weeks out of the year. Now that the tables are turned and the mother is supposed to pay $50 a month she gets 5 weeks and we get about 10 calls a week from these people. My daughter is 6 and they force her to talk on the phone. Even the counselor says that they are not a good influence on her.
When i call the child support office they said as long as she pays 1 of 3 months then they are happy with that. She cant even keep a job because she gets fired for fighting with her boss.
Like I said, Im sorry but Im just at a dead end and don't want my daughter to end up like them.

 

[nextwife]

It is up to you to teach your daughter strong values, and a sense of personal responsibility. , so that doesn't happen.

This has nothing to do with mom's rights under the court order. The financial aspects of CS are unrelated to the visitation and you cannot deny visitation whether she has paid or not..

 

[TigerD]

I hate to say it; but the system would be more sympathetic if you were female. Guys are the ones with the deep pockets -- hence you get little help. Good luck.

 

[45Frank]

Good job getting custody of you child. Enjoy the hell out of it as I do! I also am a dad with custody of my children, a word of advice in a WOMENS court.
Unless you really want to piss off the Judge live with it. I spend a few thousand dollars trying to just get the X to pay what is owed the Judge threatened me the last time we where in court with jail time. She now owes over $15,000.00 and told a Judge once I'm not paying and walked out, I was yelled at like a little baby, I never said a thing not one word and my lawyer sat there with his jaw to the ground.
So don't rock the women's world!

 

[GrowUp!]

Good job getting custody of you child. Enjoy the hell out of it as I do! I also am a dad with custody of my children, a word of advice in a WOMENS court.
Unless you really want to piss off the Judge live with it. I spend a few thousand dollars trying to just get the X to pay what is owed the Judge threatened me the last time we where in court with jail time. She now owes over $15,000.00 and told a Judge once I'm not paying and walked out, I was yelled at like a little baby, I never said a thing not one word and my lawyer sat there with his jaw to the ground.
So don't rock the women's world!

I certainly hope you reported this Judge to the Disciplinary Counsel or whatever reporting agency is available to your state Supreme Court and also requested this Judge is removed from your case. I know if I ever got a Judge like this, I wouldn't hesitate using my position and making it very, very public.

 

[ceara19]

Good job getting custody of you child. Enjoy the hell out of it as I do! I also am a dad with custody of my children, a word of advice in a WOMENS court.
Unless you really want to piss off the Judge live with it. I spend a few thousand dollars trying to just get the X to pay what is owed the Judge threatened me the last time we where in court with jail time. She now owes over $15,000.00 and told a Judge once I'm not paying and walked out, I was yelled at like a little baby, I never said a thing not one word and my lawyer sat there with his jaw to the ground.
So don't rock the women's world!

My ex (a MAN) told the Judge that I would never see a penny in child support and nothing was done to him either. So, you see, it has NOTHING to do with it being a "woman's world". Since you have custody of your children, you might want to get some counseling to deal with the obvious issues that you have against women, before you pass them along to your children.

 

[Inquiry123]

Child Support: So easy, a caveman could pay it!

you might want to get some counseling to deal with the obvious issues that you have against women, before you pass them along to your children.

"Giving advice to a stupid man is like giving salt to a squirrel." -- Time to change your signature line to "stupid person"!

 

[critterperson]

I certainly hope you reported this Judge to the Disciplinary Counsel or whatever reporting agency is available to your state Supreme Court and also requested this Judge is removed from your case. I know if I ever got a Judge like this, I wouldn't hesitate using my position and making it very, very public.

I agree...Additionally, It would help your complaint if you received a copy of the court transcript (if they tape all of the proceedings...I know in my State they record everything) Deadbeats are deadbeats reguardless of gender...

 

[nextwife]

My ex (a MAN) told the Judge that I would never see a penny in child support and nothing was done to him either. So, you see, it has NOTHING to do with it being a "woman's world". Since you have custody of your children, you might want to get some counseling to deal with the obvious issues that you have against women, before you pass them along to your children.

Ceara, both you and I know that, overall, far more women are given a "pass" on financial responsibility for the kids they create than judges give men. Proportionately, a greater percentage of men with legal custody have exs who have little to no CS ordered at all, than do women. The level of expectation of what a woman is capable of doing is also far less, in many cases, than it is with men.

 

[ceara19]

"Giving advice to a stupid man is like giving salt to a squirrel." -- Time to change your signature line to "stupid person"!

You're right. I'll take care of that ASAP!

 

[45Frank]

My ex (a MAN) told the Judge that I would never see a penny in child support and nothing was done to him either. So, you see, it has NOTHING to do with it being a "woman's world". Since you have custody of your children, you might want to get some counseling to deal with the obvious issues that you have against women, before you pass them along to your children.

If you don't beleive as some of the posters behind me have posted that women get a much easier ride in the Family court system then men you simply haven't sat thru enough family court hearings. (ceara19)
I'll do one better, I have a FRO against a my x, a FM that was not easy (even though she is a wingnut). While in court her and her boyfriend threatened me and my childrens life in front of a Judge and nothing was done, with a FRO. She was taken into custody but allowed to leave.
It was brought up to a superior court judge and he stated the county has no juristiction over FRO's, that is just false. (This county is the only county in the state of NJ who will not honor an out of county FRO.)My attorney asked that the Judge, Police officers(who let her walk), and the prosecutor who was to follow up be held accountable.
Also the Judge who ordered the FRO was a FM judge.
I have that order in front of me. I will fax it to anyone here if when they get it will appoligize for their rude comments on the site.
My attorney said we could spend thousands more and go further and still get nothing. Well I legally left the state with my kids who are doing very well, thank you.
Also the state I am in will honor the FRO from out of the state and is very tough with violators, since here she hasn't bothered me one bit , while in NJ it was a constant barrage because she new she could get away with it.(ID theft,stealing mail,calls all hours of the night, etc.)

Also supporting a child is for both the Mom and Dad no matter how well they get along or don't get along, that part is irrelevant to the support of the children.

 

[IrishLady47]

Ceara, both you and I know that, overall, far more women are given a "pass" on financial responsibility for the kids they create than judges give men. Proportionately, a greater percentage of men with legal custody have exs who have little to no CS ordered at all, than do women. The level of expectation of what a woman is capable of doing is also far less, in many cases, than it is with men.

Statistically speaking, even today, how many children are in the primary physical custody of their mothers vs their fathers?

I could believe that the MUCH, MUCH smaller % of fathers that have primary custody receive lower monetary orders of support from the NCP mother. Could this PERHAPS have something to do with the fact that, as a group average, men EARN more than women in the US?

Not to deny the some of the patriarchal, patronizing MALE judges in the family court system may show more sympathy for the "poor" woman. Which is actually an insult to women overall.

It has been said repeatedly in this forum that if a parent wants to NOT pay support, they will generally get away with it. I think that is true regardless of gender. I know for a fact that ex did not pay a penny in support for over 9 years. And, he suffered absolutely no consequences by ANY judge in the numerous court appearances over those years.