Tennesse Divorce

[Circon]

Tennessee. My daughter in-law plans to file for divorce, my son is devestated. They have been married 5 years and have a 4 year old child.

I gave them the down payment on their house as a gift, not a problem with that except that I now find out that when the house was purchased, my DIL put the mortgage & deed in her name only. (she had better credit or something and got a lower rate?) They purchased it one month before they married and DIL is telling my son that the house is hers and he has no right or claim. They have both worked during the marriage and contributed to the mortgage.

I know TN is a no fault state but what are his rights here? he has not consulted an attorney yet because he just does not want this divorce. I know not wanting one and her demanding one are two different things. Isn't he entitled to at least 1/2 the house? he really does not want the house because he doesn't want the child to have to move but I would like to reassure him he doesn't have to give up all of his rights. He would prefer full custody but knows the law is probably in her favor, so they have both agreed to share 50/50. My DIL is using drugs and could lose her job at any time, he is afraid if he doesn't agree with all her demands she will not give him 50/50 custody and he will lose his daughter as well. What are HIS rights? She is saying she is filing a simple divorce and all he has to do is sign and he gets the 50/50 custody?

Not sure where to turn as she has said she doesn't need a lawyer and neither does he. For whatever reason I cannot convince him to see one as he thinks it will just escalate and already voiltal situation.

Thanks for any advice and help.

 

[Isis1]

Tennessee. My daughter in-law plans to file for divorce, my son is devestated. They have been married 5 years and have a 4 year old child.

I gave them the down payment on their house as a gift, not a problem with that except that I now find out that when the house was purchased, my DIL put the mortgage & deed in her name only. (she had better credit or something and got a lower rate?) They purchased it one month before they married and DIL is telling my son that the house is hers and he has no right or claim. They have both worked during the marriage and contributed to the mortgage.

I know TN is a no fault state but what are his rights here? he has not consulted an attorney yet because he just does not want this divorce. I know not wanting one and her demanding one are two different things. Isn't he entitled to at least 1/2 the house? he really does not want the house because he doesn't want the child to have to move but I would like to reassure him he doesn't have to give up all of his rights. He would prefer full custody but knows the law is probably in her favor, so they have both agreed to share 50/50. My DIL is using drugs and could lose her job at any time, he is afraid if he doesn't agree with all her demands she will not give him 50/50 custody and he will lose his daughter as well. What are HIS rights? She is saying she is filing a simple divorce and all he has to do is sign and he gets the 50/50 custody?

Not sure where to turn as she has said she doesn't need a lawyer and neither does he. For whatever reason I cannot convince him to see one as he thinks it will just escalate and already voiltal situation.

Thanks for any advice and help.

i'm sorry. let's back up a tad bit here.

your son knows for an absolute fact that his wife is doing illegal drugs and doesn't care enough for his child to DO something about it? he's okay with this?

from the sounds of it he should NOT sign those papers. what he should do, is start looking for his testicles and talk to an attorney.

 

[LdiJ]

i'm sorry. let's back up a tad bit here.

your son knows for an absolute fact that his wife is doing illegal drugs and doesn't care enough for his child to DO something about it? he's okay with this?

from the sounds of it he should NOT sign those papers. what he should do, is start looking for his testicles and talk to an attorney.

Lets back up a minute here...remember, its grandma posting. Mom may just be smoking a little pot now and then. If so, dad may not be quite as squeeky clean as grandma thinks.

Besides, dad apparently does not want the divorce and apparently was ok with whatever mom was doing during the marriage.

 

[LdiJ]

Tennessee. My daughter in-law plans to file for divorce, my son is devestated. They have been married 5 years and have a 4 year old child.

I gave them the down payment on their house as a gift, not a problem with that except that I now find out that when the house was purchased, my DIL put the mortgage & deed in her name only. (she had better credit or something and got a lower rate?) They purchased it one month before they married and DIL is telling my son that the house is hers and he has no right or claim. They have both worked during the marriage and contributed to the mortgage.

I know TN is a no fault state but what are his rights here? he has not consulted an attorney yet because he just does not want this divorce. I know not wanting one and her demanding one are two different things. Isn't he entitled to at least 1/2 the house? he really does not want the house because he doesn't want the child to have to move but I would like to reassure him he doesn't have to give up all of his rights. He would prefer full custody but knows the law is probably in her favor, so they have both agreed to share 50/50. My DIL is using drugs and could lose her job at any time, he is afraid if he doesn't agree with all her demands she will not give him 50/50 custody and he will lose his daughter as well. What are HIS rights? She is saying she is filing a simple divorce and all he has to do is sign and he gets the 50/50 custody?

Not sure where to turn as she has said she doesn't need a lawyer and neither does he. For whatever reason I cannot convince him to see one as he thinks it will just escalate and already voiltal situation.

Thanks for any advice and help.

The house was purchased 5 years ago, just a couple of years before the housing bust. Its very possible that the home does not actually have any equity at this point. However, if the house does have equity your son would be entitled to 1/2 of the equity that accrued during the marriage, which, in this instance, is 1/2 of the total equity.

If mom is agreeing to 50/50 custody right off the bat that is highly unusual and actually a very good thing for your son.

What drugs are mom using and what hard evidence could your son provide of that use?

 

[Bali Hai]

Lets back up a minute here...remember, its grandma posting. Mom may just be smoking a little pot now and then. If so, dad may not be quite as squeeky clean as grandma thinks.

Besides, dad apparently does not want the divorce and apparently was ok with whatever mom was doing during the marriage.

That's how to play it. It's a mans fault when it's his fault, and it's a mans fault when it's not his fault!! You would make a fine jackass judge in kangaroo divorce court!!

 

[Circon]

TN Divorce

I Know it sounds bad, and her drug use is recent, I don't know all the details but what little I do know is that she's smoking pot with some new friends she made at work. he has no idea if she has used other substances but he knows her friends do. My son is NOT okay with it which was part of the reason she wants this divorce as she doesn't think he or anyone else can tell her what she can and cannot do. He has tried to talk her into couseling and she's having no part of it.

Good to know about the house. Thanks. They bought it dirt cheap and fixed it up so it has appreciated, but he does not want to force her to sell as that would mean his child would be uprooted. he has rented a house nearby and has his daughter at least half the time and would go for full custody if he thought he had a chance. I'm sure he couldn't prove drug use without a surprise drug test. Right now he is in denial. he just wants his life back the way it used to be. I'm sure evetually he will get mad and this will probably turn ugly as most divorces do but for now I am just trying to find some answers for him. I am afraid she would sell the house anyway and he would be left with nothing.

Does Tennessee no fault divoce mean she can do all of this without an attorney? The real reasons for the divorce I suspect is that he lost his job last spring and has only managed to find sporadic work and not near the money he used to make, coupled with her new friends, it's been a hard 6 months for both of them. They have no other debt except the house and right now she is calling all the shots. For now he just needs to know if she can get a divorce without him? Will they both have to have an attorney?

Custody is only a weapon she uses to get what she wants right now. She threatens him with keeping him away from his daughter if he doesn't agree to her terms. For now he wants to know she CAN'T just go and get a divorce without his consent. They were both good parents, I'm not trying to paint a picture of woman who doesn't care about her child because I really believe she does, I just think all the stress from the economy has set her off on a road she's not been on. I would prefer they work it out but you can't do that when only one party wants it.

I appreciate any answers for him and hope that it won't get ugly for my GD's sake.

Thanks

 

[xylene]

Your son NEEDS to get a lawyer.

Your soon to be ex DIL does NOT get to arbitrarily decide on keeping him from his daughter.

Her "threats" are just talk - her flapping her gums does not mean dad 'will never see his kid'

him seeing a lawyer will only HELP.

 

[mistoffolees]

Your son NEEDS to get a lawyer.

Your soon to be ex DIL does NOT get to arbitrarily decide on keeping him from his daughter.

Her "threats" are just talk - her flapping her gums does not mean dad 'will never see his kid'

him seeing a lawyer will only HELP.

It will also help him to understand the situation better.

In many areas, occasional pot use is not going to be considered a significant issue - at least since she apparently did it when the kids weren't around.

Furthermore, the current situation (son tells mom who posts here, reads responses, tells son what she read) is likely to lead to errors in interpretation. Better for him to get the information directly from an attorney or at least post here on his own.

 

[LdiJ]

I Know it sounds bad, and her drug use is recent, I don't know all the details but what little I do know is that she's smoking pot with some new friends she made at work. he has no idea if she has used other substances but he knows her friends do. My son is NOT okay with it which was part of the reason she wants this divorce as she doesn't think he or anyone else can tell her what she can and cannot do. He has tried to talk her into couseling and she's having no part of it.

That's not the kind of thing that is going to cause her to lose custody as an unfit mother.

Good to know about the house. Thanks. They bought it dirt cheap and fixed it up so it has appreciated, but he does not want to force her to sell as that would mean his child would be uprooted. he has rented a house nearby and has his daughter at least half the time and would go for full custody if he thought he had a chance. I'm sure he couldn't prove drug use without a surprise drug test. Right now he is in denial. he just wants his life back the way it used to be. I'm sure evetually he will get mad and this will probably turn ugly as most divorces do but for now I am just trying to find some answers for him. I am afraid she would sell the house anyway and he would be left with nothing.

A judge isn't going to order a surprise drug test unless there is hard evidence to indicate that its warranted.

She could sell the house, but she would have to account for any proceeds in the divorce. She could also refinance the house to buy out his share in any equity that exists.

Does Tennessee no fault divoce mean she can do all of this without an attorney? The real reasons for the divorce I suspect is that he lost his job last spring and has only managed to find sporadic work and not near the money he used to make, coupled with her new friends, it's been a hard 6 months for both of them. They have no other debt except the house and right now she is calling all the shots. For now he just needs to know if she can get a divorce without him? Will they both have to have an attorney?

Can it be done without an attorney? Yes, absolutely. Is it a good idea to do it without an attorney? Not particularly. Yes, she absolutely can get a divorce without his cooperation. It might take a bit longer, but she can absolutely get one.

Custody is only a weapon she uses to get what she wants right now. She threatens him with keeping him away from his daughter if he doesn't agree to her terms. For now he wants to know she CAN'T just go and get a divorce without his consent. They were both good parents, I'm not trying to paint a picture of woman who doesn't care about her child because I really believe she does, I just think all the stress from the economy has set her off on a road she's not been on. I would prefer they work it out but you can't do that when only one party wants it.

I appreciate any answers for him and hope that it won't get ugly for my GD's sake.

Thanks

Again, yes, she CAN get a divorce without his consent. Yes, she could temporarily keep him away from his daughter (pending custody/visitation orders from the court), but not more than temporarily.

She is offering 50/50 custody which is a pretty major deal. You don't see that happening very often.

If you really want to help your son, help him get an attorney.

 

[Circon]

Thank you all. After he read all of your replies he has agreed to consult an attorney next week. At least this way no matter how he feels he will have someone to look out for his best interests.

Have a great day!