As a New York State family law attorney, I have found that the frequently asked question about "terminating parental rights" is pervasive in EVERY state, and the reasons given are always the same: The non-custodial parent is usually accused of either not paying court-ordered child support or having practically nothing to do with the child(sometimes caused by the custodial parent's attempt to alienate the child from the other parent), thus supposedly warranting a termination of ALL parental rights.
To really prove total abandonment in N.Y., for example, the non-custodial parent must have practically disappeared from the child's life for the past 6 months, at least. This means, no support, no contact (even telephone and cards) and no interest in the child's life. Remember that the termination of parental rights does not terminate the obligation to continue paying child support, regardless of there no longer being any contact with the child. Total cancellation of ALL obligations to the child (including support) does not take place until there is an actual ADOPTION proceeding commenced with the biological parent giving signed CONSENT to such adoption first. In sum, financial "abandonment" does not equate to a ground to terminate parental RIGHTS, if the non-support-paying parent still wishes to maintain some minimal contact with the child.
The questions that continue to trouble me with these petitions to terminate parental rights is this: Is the non-custodial parent such a danger to the child that all contact must be stopped?( If true, Child Protective Services would have stepped in to terminate these rights long ago.) Is the wish to terminate contact derived from the deep-seated bitterness and anger of the custodial parent because the couple's relationship is over? Finally, is the child really better off thinking that he or she has no daddy like his or her friends do because daddy "didn't want me anymore"?
If there has been even MINIMAL contact and communication with the child, don't underestimate the negative impact of a child's feelings of rejection by the other parent.
