Thieving Grandson

[moundtown]

West Virginia

My elderly mother has a 28 year old grandson who she raised from the time he was a baby. This boy has stolen from them ever since he was old enough to. He has never received more than the proverbial slap on the wrist.

Just yesterday he came to the house and asked for the keys to the garage (a separate building from the house) saying he needed to get a tire he was storing in there. What he actually did was take an expensive wood planer that had belonged to my father and pawned it. We found it at the pawn shop with his signature on the pawn ticket.

My mother, per usual, is wanting to let him slide by once again telling him that she will give him a few days to return the planer. I know from experience that after those few days come and go she will do nothing. This has to stop.

Is there anything I can do, short of taking a ball bat to this punk's knees?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

 

[Zigner]

West Virginia

My elderly mother has a 28 year old grandson who she raised from the time he was a baby. This boy has stolen from them ever since he was old enough to. He has never received more than the proverbial slap on the wrist.

Just yesterday he came to the house and asked for the keys to the garage (a separate building from the house) saying he needed to get a tire he was storing in there. What he actually did was take an expensive wood planer that had belonged to my father and pawned it. We found it at the pawn shop with his signature on the pawn ticket.

My mother, per usual, is wanting to let him slide by once again telling him that she will give him a few days to return the planer. I know from experience that after those few days come and go she will do nothing. This has to stop.

Is there anything I can do, short of taking a ball bat to this punk's knees?What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)?

If your grandmother is incapacitated, then you could report the behaviour to Adult Protective Services. However, this sounds to me more like something that is really not your in your control. If he steals from you, report it to the police.

 

[moundtown]

If your grandmother is incapacitated, then you could report the behaviour to Adult Protective Services. However, this sounds to me more like something that is really not your in your control. If he steals from you, report it to the police.

Thanks for your reply. I figured that was most likely the case but I have heard where prosecutors have gone ahead and pressed charges even if the victim wanted to drop them. Is this something that might be pursued?

 

[cyjeff]

Not for property theft.

The cases you are referring to usually involve things such as domestic violence where the victim is covering for his/her abuser and, therefore, is subjecting him/herself to additional harm.

Me... I would call the police anyway. If you know a crime is being committed, you can report it even if it isn't happening to YOU.

If the worst thing that happens is that grandson realizes that his little thefts are being watched, you may have made some progress.

 

[moundtown]

Not for property theft.

The cases you are referring to usually involve things such as domestic violence where the victim is covering for his/her abuser and, therefore, is subjecting him/herself to additional harm.

Me... I would call the police anyway. If you know a crime is being committed, you can report it even if it isn't happening to YOU.

If the worst thing that happens is that grandson realizes that his little thefts are being watched, you may have made some progress.

Yeah I could report it but unless my mother says it's a crime, which I know she wouldn't do, the police will do nothing. He knows she'll do nothing and that is the entire problem.

Now where did I leave that ball bat?

 

[cyjeff]

Yeah I could report it but unless my mother says it's a crime, which I know she wouldn't do, the police will do nothing. He knows she'll do nothing and that is the entire problem.

Now where did I leave that ball bat?

I would call them anyway.

Have the police talk to the kid may be a very strong wake up call on a number of levels.

I would also change the locks on the shed. Tell your mom that there are thieves afoot and it is all in the name of security.

 

[moundtown]

I think I have actually talked my mother into pressing charges if he doesn't return the item by this afternoon (which I'm sure he won't). My question now is, since she gave him a few days to return it, will she still be able to charge him with theft? I'm afraid the authorities might now look at this as a domestic matter and that it will turn into a civil case.

 

[cyjeff]

I think I have actually talked my mother into pressing charges if he doesn't return the item by this afternoon (which I'm sure he won't). My question now is, since she gave him a few days to return it, will she still be able to charge him with theft? I'm afraid the authorities might now look at this as a domestic matter and that it will turn into a civil case.

Let the cops worry about it.

Explain the situation to them and they will take care of it.

 

[commentator]

And since the young man is probably NOT a mental giant with full understanding of the laws of the land, that you have gotten something going on charging him, that you are watching him, and that there are actually laws that control elder abuse may really be food for thought for him.

He does this because it's easy, it's something he's always thought was a convenient source of income, and it may never have occurred to him that just "I said it was all right, I wanted him to have my money" from Grandma will not give him carte blanche forever. Especially as she becomes older, and more defenseless. It doesn't take a great intellect to figure out that old people who love you are easy victims, that's why there are laws concerning elder abuse.

Try to stay aware of what is going on with Grandma's banking, too. If he's stealing, he's probably also asking her for gifts of cash and may be kiting checks, using her credit cards and such. It will be necessary for you not to alienate Grandma, so don't nag her too much about this, just keep your eye on it. Make sure Sonny boy knows you know and are watching him.

Putting a scare on him about legal processes is much more effective than threatening to break his knees, regardless of how nice it'd feel temporarily for you. Then you'd probably have to give him some of your money, even do some jail time, too and he could merrily go his way being a victim. Plus Grandma will be mad at you, 'cause he's her baby.

 

[cyjeff]

I agree... the value here is making him aware that other people are aware of the crimes and are willing to call the cops.

Up to this point, he has been charming grandma... and thinks no one notices that he is ripping off an old lady that took him in and raised him.

Then call the cops every time... and definitely look into having grandma's finances put under your control.

 

[moundtown]

To update the events. I did go to the police and they wouldn't even take my statement. They said my mother would have to contact them personally. Anyway, he actually did return the wood planer and the matter just sort of died off.

Now yesterday I find out that the grandson has broken up with his girlfriend and after she threw him out he moved into my mother's house without as much as asking her permission. I spoke to her on the phone and she said that she does not want him there but doesn't know what to do about it. Of course as always she refuses to take legal action.

So my question now is, if I can get my mother to say the words "I want him out of my house" to me can I bag up all his stuff and put it out at the curb and then physically prevent him from entering the house?