Third Party Posters

[CSO286]

Per Mistoffolees' very wise suggestion:

These two posts ought to be preserved somewhere as an example of why most seniors decline to help third parties.

Do take note, these two were posted withing five minutes of each other.

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

My boyfriend went to go pick up his son on his weekend that was court ordered. He gets him every other weekend. well his ex called and said she wanted to switch weekends, and he said no. but when he went to go pick up his son she did not show up. He made a police report, but since its court ordered isnt there more he can do besides make a report?

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Illinois

My friend has not seen his son in over a month because the mother who has sole custody refuses to drop him off. But he has court orders to get visitation every other weekend. Is there anything he can do about not getting his son?

So, which is it????

 

[LdiJ]

Per Mistoffolees' very wise suggestion:




Do take note, these two were posted withing five minutes of each other.







So, which is it????

In general, I really do not have a problem with third party posters unless its clear from their postings that they do not have sufficient information to get decent advice.

However this third party poster is a prime example of why many seniors here don't want to respond to third parties at all.

 

[CSO286]

A third party can sometimes have the relevant information and be able to present the situation factually and without rancor or emotional outbursts (think, "They're MY kids, too!!!").

But the fact of the matter is that more often than not, they aren't simply doing the research as a favor to their loved one. The third party has his/her own agenda(they want to play happy families and erase out the other, actual, parent; they feel that their BF/GF pays too much or doesn't recieve enough in child support; etc) in the matter and it doesn't often seem to mesh with the best interests' of the children involved.

I think there are times when the seniors do help steps or other third paries--when the third party present the info clearly and emotionlessly. The also do possess the necessary info (court orders) to refer to and appear to have taken the time to read the sticky.

Yes, we understand that when we are talking about custody and child support, we are generally talking about the two most important things in many people's lives--their children and their money--so the dialogue is highly charged.

And we do want to give the best, most correct advice possible. But when third parties post like the examples above, it appears that they are seeking to frame the situtation in such a way to obtain only the answer they want to hear, as opposed to the most correct answer based on what is actually happening.

 

[Antigone*]

A third party can sometimes have the relevant information and be able to present the situation factually and without rancor or emotional outbursts (think, "They're MY kids, too!!!").

But the fact of the matter is that more often than not, they aren't simply doing the research as a favor to their loved one. The third party has his/her own agenda(they want to play happy families and erase out the other, actual, parent; they feel that their BF/GF pays too much or doesn't recieve enough in child support; etc) in the matter and it doesn't often seem to mesh with the best interests' of the children involved.

I think there are times when the seniors do help steps or other third paries--when the thid party present the infor clearly and emotionlessly. The also do possess the necessary info (court orders) to refer to and appear to have taken the time to read the sticky.

Yes, we understand that when we are talking about custody and child support, we are generally talking about the two most important things in many people's lives--their children and their money--so the dialogue is highly charged.

And we do want to give the best, most correct advice possible. But when third parties post like the examples above, it appears that they are seeking to frame the situtation in such a way to obtain only the answer they want to hear, as opposed to the most correct answer based on what is actually happening.

Can I hear an Amen!