What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state?What is the name of your state? Indiana
I posted a few times last year and early this year before retaining an attorney. This is the first place I came for help and this is where I learned to put my emotions away, throw away what didn't really matter and start learning to figure out what did matter. After I retained an attorney I stopped posting and asking questions here.
I had court with my Ex yesterday after documenting, reading diligently and preparing almost a year. This was for a show cause for contempt on arrears, modification of visitation and an upward modification of child support.
He shows up in a dirty white polo, sweat pants and sneakers. He's been at work that morning and has chosen to not change his clothes. Child support couldn't be decided since my ex didn't turn in a financial declaration. Claimed he didn't know he had to do one. He's pro se by the way. He starts arguing with my attorney about the arrearage amount before the judge even comes into the room. My attorney has a complete printout from the office downtown and has done the calculation, what he has paid, what was supposed to be paid and the difference between. He has his cancelled checks and paystubs to prove her figures are wrong.
He is impatient while I am being questioned by my lawyer, while he is being asked questions and has to be shut down at least twice in the first 15 minutes. He has a presentation to make and when it is his turn for the last 15 minutes of the hearing he passes out papers to both the judge and my attorney and expects to have them be received and he can start what turned out to be a four page smear campaign on me and starts out with information about the 9/11 attacks and how that was the start of his problem with finding a job from that point until 7-6-2004, several papers that he put together on a computer stating his liabilities (debt that doesn't include arrears). His proof of him paying medical expenses was a xerox of last year's Influenza notice of where, when and how much. Not the receipt but the notice/ticket people in line were given. Half of what he gave was thrown out and the more he argued the more got thrown out the more he argued, it became a vicious circle and all I wanted to do was find my happy place.
When he finds that these things have to be looked over he gets mad and starts asking if he can start. When he figures out that his time is ticking away he starts to interupt the judge, argue and then pack up his stuff to leave, if he's not going to be heard can he please have another continuance?
Anyway, half of what he presents gets thrown out, not much is decided on but what was is that overnight visitation will be at his sister's house and our son is to have his own bed, period. Heck, he's moved out of a rented sleeping room into a hotel three weeks ago doubling his rent yet he can't get an apartment or house.
Somewhere during my Ex's argument and interrupting the judge my attorney turns to me and whispers "he's nuts....we should have him evaluated." We get the eval paper a minute later. There will also be a request for a psychological evaluation on him. I will have to pay for it but it will be worth it as I have a lot of confidence that he will fail the eval. I will also be taking this evaluation as well.
You attorneys here and those that have been here know this was real ugly.
I want to extend my thanks to those who helped me here focus, stop being just plain mad and start being productive. There's a long road ahead still but it was a great start.
I posted a few times last year and early this year before retaining an attorney. This is the first place I came for help and this is where I learned to put my emotions away, throw away what didn't really matter and start learning to figure out what did matter. After I retained an attorney I stopped posting and asking questions here.
I had court with my Ex yesterday after documenting, reading diligently and preparing almost a year. This was for a show cause for contempt on arrears, modification of visitation and an upward modification of child support.
He shows up in a dirty white polo, sweat pants and sneakers. He's been at work that morning and has chosen to not change his clothes. Child support couldn't be decided since my ex didn't turn in a financial declaration. Claimed he didn't know he had to do one. He's pro se by the way. He starts arguing with my attorney about the arrearage amount before the judge even comes into the room. My attorney has a complete printout from the office downtown and has done the calculation, what he has paid, what was supposed to be paid and the difference between. He has his cancelled checks and paystubs to prove her figures are wrong.
He is impatient while I am being questioned by my lawyer, while he is being asked questions and has to be shut down at least twice in the first 15 minutes. He has a presentation to make and when it is his turn for the last 15 minutes of the hearing he passes out papers to both the judge and my attorney and expects to have them be received and he can start what turned out to be a four page smear campaign on me and starts out with information about the 9/11 attacks and how that was the start of his problem with finding a job from that point until 7-6-2004, several papers that he put together on a computer stating his liabilities (debt that doesn't include arrears). His proof of him paying medical expenses was a xerox of last year's Influenza notice of where, when and how much. Not the receipt but the notice/ticket people in line were given. Half of what he gave was thrown out and the more he argued the more got thrown out the more he argued, it became a vicious circle and all I wanted to do was find my happy place.
When he finds that these things have to be looked over he gets mad and starts asking if he can start. When he figures out that his time is ticking away he starts to interupt the judge, argue and then pack up his stuff to leave, if he's not going to be heard can he please have another continuance?
Anyway, half of what he presents gets thrown out, not much is decided on but what was is that overnight visitation will be at his sister's house and our son is to have his own bed, period. Heck, he's moved out of a rented sleeping room into a hotel three weeks ago doubling his rent yet he can't get an apartment or house.
Somewhere during my Ex's argument and interrupting the judge my attorney turns to me and whispers "he's nuts....we should have him evaluated." We get the eval paper a minute later. There will also be a request for a psychological evaluation on him. I will have to pay for it but it will be worth it as I have a lot of confidence that he will fail the eval. I will also be taking this evaluation as well.
You attorneys here and those that have been here know this was real ugly.
I want to extend my thanks to those who helped me here focus, stop being just plain mad and start being productive. There's a long road ahead still but it was a great start.
