Threats and picking up children

[Zephyr]

What is the name of your state? Missouri


Posting for a friend-

She would like opinions on whether there is enough to obtain and restraining/no contact order


their parenting plans states that she is to pick up the children at her ex's home, while picking up the children last night, ex became verbally aggresive- ex's wife then hoped into the conversation- mom said to wife "I don't believe I was talking to you" at that point wife tried to slam the door on mom, mom was partially in the doorway, was able to get her hands up to prevent herself from being hit by the door but the door did swing back open. At that point mom starts walking to her vehicle- wife follows her out, yelling at her, and saying stuff like "If you ever come on this property again I'll...." I don't believe she ever actually finished the statement but mom did feel threatened

per the court order mom must go there to retrieve the children, but now feels threatened, any advice??

enough for a no contact?
enough for the order to be changed?
any other advice?

 

[momofrose]

What is the name of your state? Missouri


Posting for a friend-

She would like opinions on whether there is enough to obtain and restraining/no contact order


their parenting plans states that she is to pick up the children at her ex's home, while picking up the children last night, ex became verbally aggresive- ex's wife then hoped into the conversation- mom said to wife "I don't believe I was talking to you" at that point wife tried to slam the door on mom, mom was partially in the doorway, was able to get her hands up to prevent herself from being hit by the door but the door did swing back open. At that point mom starts walking to her vehicle- wife follows her out, yelling at her, and saying stuff like "If you ever come on this property again I'll...." I don't believe she ever actually finished the statement but mom did feel threatened

per the court order mom must go there to retrieve the children, but now feels threatened, any advice??

enough for a no contact? Probably not.

enough for the order to be changed? Probably..she could ask that it be a mutually friendly place..like a police station

any other advice?

Are the children old enough to come to the car without her having to go to the house? Also - not a good time to strat conversations...would just pick up the children and leave - leave the conversations for times when children are not present.

 

[Zephyr]

yes- I believe the children were in the car, but dad was having an issue about shoes...hence the conversation

 

[GrowUp!]

What is the name of your state? Missouri


Posting for a friend-

She would like opinions on whether there is enough to obtain and restraining/no contact order


their parenting plans states that she is to pick up the children at her ex's home, while picking up the children last night, ex became verbally aggresive- ex's wife then hoped into the conversation- mom said to wife "I don't believe I was talking to you" at that point wife tried to slam the door on mom, mom was partially in the doorway, was able to get her hands up to prevent herself from being hit by the door but the door did swing back open. At that point mom starts walking to her vehicle- wife follows her out, yelling at her, and saying stuff like "If you ever come on this property again I'll...." I don't believe she ever actually finished the statement but mom did feel threatened

per the court order mom must go there to retrieve the children, but now feels threatened, any advice??

enough for a no contact?
enough for the order to be changed?
any other advice?

Hmm...as far as a no contact order...that's an iffy since it seems that both could be to blame in this one. As far as the "if you ever come on my property again" stuff...the court order would have to be amended for such. Plus, if she tried to call the police and get her for trespassing, I couldn't see it going anywhere since there's a court order for pick-up and I could see an officer simply saying that the order would have to be amended.

One thing I have in my order (although the ex is a moron and can't read) is that 'neither parent is to leave their vehicle at the exchange location.' Your friend also might want to consider adding language, along with something like "neither parent shall leave their vehicle and/or their residence at the time of exchange.' In my final proposed order, I have language similar to that, since my ex is a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal. Oh wait...they completely forgot the fries. LOL

Hopefully that gives you an idea...perhaps someone will come along to make the language more precise.

 

[ezmarelda]

Hopefully that gives you an idea...perhaps someone will come along to make the language more precise.

California forms have a box to check next to "During the exchanges, the parent driving the children will wait in the car and the other parent will wait in his or
her home while the children go between the car and the home."

 

[me-myself&I]

Maybe instead of coming onto the property you just call from a cell phone from in the car to have the other parent walk the children out to the street. That way you won't be trespassing and there will be no more threats of whay may happen if you were to step on their property. Or just come to an agreement to meet at a public place. Mcdonalds, the police station, the library or something else.

My ex loves to argue about everything and anything. I just simply call from my car to walk our child out. If the other parent tries to talk to me, I just ignore it. Save it for a time when its not in front of our kid. Plus, with me just ignoring it, it makes the other parent look bad when they get frustrated at me for not answering and the neighbors outside see the other parent trying to pick a fight with me. Just an idea. Better to say nothing at all than and ear full. I just follow my CO that states I need to pick up our kid. It doesn't say anything about conversation with the other parent during those pick up times. If I have something to say to the other parent an email or letter is best. It let's me say what I need to without being interrupted plus it also is a paper trail of what exactly was said between the two parties.

 

[GrowUp!]

Maybe instead of coming onto the property you just call from a cell phone from in the car to have the other parent walk the children out to the street. That way you won't be trespassing and there will be no more threats of whay may happen if you were to step on their property. Or just come to an agreement to meet at a public place. Mcdonalds, the police station, the library or something else.

There's no need to do this because there would be a modification of the order needed most likely. Plus, waiting on the street *could* pose a safety issue. There isn't a trespassing issue because of the court order. Both parents remaining in the car/residence should be suffice.

 

[Ohiogal]

Quite frankly if this went back before a judge and the wife and ex got up there saying that they don't want her on the property and wife has said she is not to return, the judge would ream them both due to the court order. Then the judge would most likely want to know what your friend would want -- where she would want to meet -- and she would most likely get it. I say that because my ex at one time a few years ago tried to tell me that anyone I brought with me to pick up my child he would have arrested for trespassing even if the people NEVER left my car nor talked to him. He even told the judge that. The judge told him that if he ever filed a report like that or otherwise tried to dictate who could be WITH ME that the judge and court would consider that interference of parental rights and that would give me basis to get full custody of my child. He never did it again.