Troubled Daughter

[kevrm]

I live in Illinois and my ex wife and I are at the end of our rope with a 17 yo girl. First of all my ex wife had sole custody of her and starting having problems with her about a year ago. At that time the police ask me to take her in or she would go to a juvenile detention (which I should have let her).I took her in and for the most part everything was fine till Jan of this year. She met a guy who was 21 yo and on probation for attempted murder. Against my wishes or her mothers she started sneaking out to see him, everything we tried to do to keep them apart only caused us more problems. I took her car away from her which is in my daughters name an mine.She kept running away only to be brought back, the last time she attempted suicide and was put in a facility for 10 days.The boyfriend in question has repeatedly harrassed me and my ex wife broke into my home, calls on the phone harraasing me. We have filed numerous reports to the police to no avail. Have tried to get an restraining order against him but because he isnt a relative they wont issue one.Pretty much they said until he harms you you cant do a thing about it.Upon release from the facilty my daughter wanted to live with my ex wifes brother who is a baptist minister, and we agreed to that. Only problem was he started letting the boyfriend come to see her. They broke out my ex wifes windshield on her car and stole the family dog we had for 11 years and got rid of it.All of which has been confessed to the minister and his wife also to my ex wife. Long story i realize but now comes in question she has ran away again and we say fine be with him its not doing any good trying to keep them apart. She wants to be emmancipated but should we? I dont think any judge in his right mind would let her she is on paxil and has no job is living with his family.I dont want to be reposnsible for her driving this car is one reason I have not gave it to her yet. Another is she owes me money on it. I would like to just sell the car but she wont sign off on the title. My question is one do I have the right to sell the car since she is a minor and sign her name to it? Also do we just give up at this point and say he is all yours? After 5 months of threatening from both her and the boyfriend we have decided maybe in the best interest or all involved.She is still seeing her psych once a month and a therapist 2 times a week. Anyones advice would be appreciated.

 

[tori13]

if the car is in both names sell it!! let her be and pray for her.

 

[I AM ALWAYS LIABLE]

My response:

Incredible story. After all that, you're talking about the sale of a car. Incredible.

IAAL

 

[Ukiah]

My Advice- Take it or leave it.

I'm sure you are aware that selling the car is not an option due to her name being on it as co-owner therefore, if sold, she would still need to sign off on it. And I doubt she will.

Take your name off the title, take it off your insurance, and give it to her, tell her it is her going away present. Since she insists on being with the 21 yo loser, sign over guardianship to him. Let him be responsible for her. As far as what she "owes" you for it, give up on collecting anything from her.

If/when she has her own job, place to live, and can take care of herself, then and only then can she becom emancipated. I wouldn't worry about it for too long - she'll be 18, then she's considered an adult - despite her actions.

She is more than likely one of these children who have to learn from their own bad decisions. I was somewhat rebelious (though I never went to jail or Juvy), ran away a couple times, and in the end I have no one to blame for my misfortunes in life - but ME. In the end I did mature and become a productive member of society - though I am still a little head strong (nothing wrong with that) I have come along way from breaking the law to embracing it.

Not trying to sound like Ann Landers, but let her go tell her she's on her own with this guy and when she can admit her mistakes, she is welcome back in your home.