Untrustworthy Daughter

[lil*babe]

What is the name of your state? Washington - I will try and make this short and to point. Need question answered - My Husbands mom passed away leaving the daughter in charge of Dads bills ( He is unable to read or Write ) All this time she has been barrowing money from her dads estate - 50,000.00 plus and still living off him the pair does not work. she finally came clean when hubby found out some info. She also has charged up 2 credit cards in his name. Dad and we are told that he has forgiven her for all loans ? we do believe he has the beginning of dementia - now she wants to sell the house split in half and move father away so she can live on his money the rest of his life He is now 80 yrs of age * is there anything my Hubby can do ? Fathers lawyer seems to think alls good - the only problem we are having is Dad doesnt have the know how to word things or money value - We do know that sister sits in on lawyers meeting with father,But lawyer says she has her own lawyer which dad is also paying for. I am more than happy to give more info if needed. Thank You * Lil*Babe

 

[BlondiePB]

1) Who is the Personal Rep/Executrix of your mother-in-law's (MIL) estate?

2) Is MIL's Probate case closed?

3) What is sister-in-law's legal authority for father - POA or limited/plenary Guardian/Conservator?

4) Are the attorney's for FIL and for SIL Elder Law attorneys, Probate attorney's or what?

5) Was you husband an heir to his mother's estate?

 

[lil*babe]

Washington- You will have to foregive me for my stupidity of these questions. I have never had to be invloved in something like this * Mother died 7 yrs ago leaving no will just a written paper of things she wanted family to have. Everything just fell into the dads lap and he doesnt know much of nothing * All my husband knows is the sister had written constent to write checks for bill paying * All was trusted with her until dads utillities were being shut off. His lawyer is just a family lawyer as we take it ?? sorry we know very little no one will give info and father has not a clue. Before mom died it was always known that son would end up with house ( i do not know if this is in writing ) anyways He would have to pay half of worth to sister, But now she owes the estate all this money and still thinks she should get half of the house for now she takes care of dad.we cannot come up with that kind of money so my hubby is goin to let it all go. Since dad has forgiven her and doesnt beileve she would leave his accounts dry * She has also for months taking dad to this lawyer and ssetting things up * we cant even get info on that . This is just to emotional for us to believe this girl would do this laugh of the Month * she told a family member we are just in it for the money ! not really she already got it all *LOL * I am guessing that it would take more money than we have to fight her and only hurt the feelings that dad has if we pressed on with this. ???????????

 

[BlondiePB]

Does your husband want to or not want to stop the financial exploitation of his father?

 

[lil*babe]

I think he might if we had money. we just live comfortable.But dont have much extra. How could this be financial exploitation of his father if his Lawyer is going along with it ? I guess we both have doubts of blowing a bunch of money with this if there is nothing we can do. Dad says yes to daughter and daughter keeps signing checks and charging * I would like to know if I need a Signed paper stating my husband or his siblings will not be responsable for any debt after fathers passing ? We refuse to pay for any debt she has racked up. * Thank you

 

[BlondiePB]

How could this be financial exploitation if his Lawyer is going along with it?

FIL's lawyer is most likely an innocent party and believes that your FIL is competent to sign the papers. You, your husband, I and no one else here is cyberspace are at those attorney appointments. All we here in cyperspace know is that your FIL is: 1) 80 years old, 2) you believe he is showing signs of dementia - which he most likely is at that age, 3) your FIL is illiterate, 4) your FIL "does not have the know how to word things or money value" [sic], 5) your SIL is trusted by her father and was trusted by the rest of the family.

All was trusted with her until dads utilities were shut off.

Your FIL's money must first be spent on his shelter and food. This is an example of financial exploitation of the elderly.

She also has charged up 2 credit cards in his name.

This is another example of financial exploitation of the elderly.

All this time she has been borrowing money from her dad's estate - 50,000.00 plus and still living off him the pair does not work.

Your MIL died 7 years ago. We do not know whether or not your SIL is your FIL's Representative Payee for Social Security and/or his estate and has requested through proper channels to be paid for her services and for caring for her dad.
Dividing $50,000.00 by 7 years is not unreasonable compensation.

Please do not think I am defending your SIL for what she is doing as I have already provided two specific examples of her financial exploitation of your FIL. No one really knows the extent to what she is doing. If she is stealing your FIL's money and assests, she is cleverly accomplishing this with attorneys. This situation needs to be handled very wisely as well.

She has her own lawyer which dad is also paying for.

This is perfectly fine ONLY when SIL utilizes the attorney for your FIL's affairs.

Mother died 7 years ago leaving no will just a written paper of things she wanted family to have.

In the county where your MIL died, look for a Probate case under her name. If you cannot access the information via the internet, make a call to the county courthouse on Monday and inquire. Should you learn there are files on your MIL in Probate, go read them.

She wants to sell the house split in half and move father away so she can live on his money the rest of his life

Is it acceptable to your husband for 1/2 of the proceeds from the sale? How much is your MIL's estate worth?

Is your husband willing to "step-up-to-the-plate" and be his father's guardian? The answer to this, lil*babe, is extremely important and will affect how costly this will be to "undue" what your SIL has done as well as how to proceed with this situation.

I would like to know if I need a Signed paper stating my husband or his siblings will not be responsible for any debt after fathers passing? We refuse to pay for any debt she has racked up.

As long as your husband and his siblings do not sign as a guarantor to any of dad's debts, you will not be responsible for dad's debts. His estate, if there's anything left of it, will be responsible for the debts.

Remember, your FIL trusts his daughter who has been the caretaker for seven years now. It is my opinion that his affairs do need to be examined.

Take a look at some more info regarding Elder Abuse here:
www.aasa.dshs.wa.gov/topics/abuse

 

[lil*babe]

BlondiePB * Thank You so much for advice and links * At this time my husband feels like he should just let it ride,He's tired of the fighting when he did get a hold of his Dad. Now at this moment his sister wont return any phone calls and neither will His Dad. Dad just wont believe she's dishonest and Sister is mad because my Husband in around about way called her a thief and liar. Which he didnt say the words but ask questions and she says he's calling her these things. My Husband is a Lover not a fighter and it breaks his heart any of this is happening They start cleaning out his house of personal items in 2 weeks to get ready for sale. We will just have to see how honest she can be to see if our children get what the grandma wanted them to have. Not really sure how this will work. Since she wont talk to none of us Thank You again * Just for listening Lil*Babe