What is the name of your state? NJ
Somehow my thread got closed (?) so here is the latest and greatest -
As explained to me by the economic mediator- STBX's attny had a letter faxed to the Panel from STBX's Dr. It stated that the transplant had been successful, the organ was fully functioning, however he was not yet released for work. This left them in a position of not being able to impute income to him which they had originally set at $70k.
Then STBX attny stated that he had a verbal approval from Social Security. So then they used that to impute $25k, they matched it with alimony ($25k), took 10% of that figure to then "credit" me for CS. Thus, my $20k...
Legally, they can only rule on what was known at the time (as OhioGal told me as well!!).
Since permanent disability can only be established by Soc Security, he has to provide updates every 6 months. If he is not found to be permanently disabled, that allows me to file for a modification. 
This is specifically noted in the agreement, as well as the "credit" for CS to be modified as well. This makes me feel somewhat better.
As for why it was permanent vs rehab or limited duration - I was told that since it's a long term marriage (gr. than 16 yrs), I'm automatically "permanent" that it's one of the few constants in NJ
(lucky me!!)
He asked for a reconciliation (oh yeah, like, um, sure!
) which I'm using as the catalyst to get him out!! There is quite a bit of fighting about the move out date. He says his mom is ready to kill him so he doesn't want to stay there. Frankly, I could care less. I looked at his attorney and said what do you think I'm ready to do?! He's worried about his mom?! LOL!
I've already exercised stock options, am exercising stock sales today and he'll have plenty of cash flow in less than 10 days so I'm thinking - get out!!
I also want him out as I want to be able to drop him fr car insurance and to be able to file as head of household for 2008. We were ordered to finalize all agreements yesterday but his attorney called out sick so I've been delayed (what else is new?!) until potentially Friday. The court has not yet confirmed the new date.
Still to be determined: 1) move out date, 2) initial amount of alimony and when it starts, 3) he needs to agree to make our 2 boys the sole beneficiaries of his $50k life insurance - he wants to split it with his 2 children from a prior marriage. One of whom is getting married tomorrow (24yo) and the other who works full time and is currently in law school (27yo). The mediator is insisting on it so presumably it'll be done. 4) He needs to agree to refund our son's college monies from his portion of the sale of the home
I'm hoping he just signs off at this point!
Answers/comments to items in my prior post:
SingleAZDad - in answer to your? re: pendente lite - he sued for it this summer, it was denied
. I was already paying for everything.
CJane - it's all about the almighty $ my girl!! He doesn't want to wait until the divorce is even final to start getting money - I did try it though (1st yr alimony taken fr sale of home). I've even downgraded to my current request that I withhold 1/4 of the mortgage payment from the alimony until the house is sold because otherwise, there is no incentive for him to assist in getting the house ready for sale. It remains an open item.
LdiJ - if you can believe it - the house scenario that I had written to you? He made the case to me! I would've gained $25k because he was going to give up all interest in retirement and 401K but then I guess they figured the remaining cash didn't provide enough liquidity so they took it off of the table.
Thanks all - more to come I guess!What is the name of your state?
Somehow my thread got closed (?) so here is the latest and greatest -
As explained to me by the economic mediator- STBX's attny had a letter faxed to the Panel from STBX's Dr. It stated that the transplant had been successful, the organ was fully functioning, however he was not yet released for work. This left them in a position of not being able to impute income to him which they had originally set at $70k.
Then STBX attny stated that he had a verbal approval from Social Security. So then they used that to impute $25k, they matched it with alimony ($25k), took 10% of that figure to then "credit" me for CS. Thus, my $20k...Legally, they can only rule on what was known at the time (as OhioGal told me as well!!).
Since permanent disability can only be established by Soc Security, he has to provide updates every 6 months. If he is not found to be permanently disabled, that allows me to file for a modification. This is specifically noted in the agreement, as well as the "credit" for CS to be modified as well. This makes me feel somewhat better. As for why it was permanent vs rehab or limited duration - I was told that since it's a long term marriage (gr. than 16 yrs), I'm automatically "permanent" that it's one of the few constants in NJ
(lucky me!!)He asked for a reconciliation (oh yeah, like, um, sure!
) which I'm using as the catalyst to get him out!! There is quite a bit of fighting about the move out date. He says his mom is ready to kill him so he doesn't want to stay there. Frankly, I could care less. I looked at his attorney and said what do you think I'm ready to do?! He's worried about his mom?! LOL! I've already exercised stock options, am exercising stock sales today and he'll have plenty of cash flow in less than 10 days so I'm thinking - get out!!
I also want him out as I want to be able to drop him fr car insurance and to be able to file as head of household for 2008. We were ordered to finalize all agreements yesterday but his attorney called out sick so I've been delayed (what else is new?!) until potentially Friday. The court has not yet confirmed the new date.
Still to be determined: 1) move out date, 2) initial amount of alimony and when it starts, 3) he needs to agree to make our 2 boys the sole beneficiaries of his $50k life insurance - he wants to split it with his 2 children from a prior marriage. One of whom is getting married tomorrow (24yo) and the other who works full time and is currently in law school (27yo). The mediator is insisting on it so presumably it'll be done. 4) He needs to agree to refund our son's college monies from his portion of the sale of the home
I'm hoping he just signs off at this point!
Answers/comments to items in my prior post:
SingleAZDad - in answer to your? re: pendente lite - he sued for it this summer, it was denied
. I was already paying for everything.CJane - it's all about the almighty $ my girl!! He doesn't want to wait until the divorce is even final to start getting money - I did try it though (1st yr alimony taken fr sale of home). I've even downgraded to my current request that I withhold 1/4 of the mortgage payment from the alimony until the house is sold because otherwise, there is no incentive for him to assist in getting the house ready for sale. It remains an open item.
LdiJ - if you can believe it - the house scenario that I had written to you? He made the case to me! I would've gained $25k because he was going to give up all interest in retirement and 401K but then I guess they figured the remaining cash didn't provide enough liquidity so they took it off of the table.
Thanks all - more to come I guess!What is the name of your state?
