Vague Order- holidays

[Zephyr]

What is the name of your state? WI

Our order states the parents shall agree on how the Christmas Holiday will be split ( yaknow I really think attorney's should start getting fined for this kinda crap) of course we can't agree.

We are currently starting the process for modification, and- for those of you that have been with me through this- GETTING A NEW GAL!!!!!!!

Anyway, tried to open the discussion with dad about how to split the holiday time. His response- We should split the holiday according to the court order, I will get the first half, you will get the second half.

so I went back and re-read my order- just to make sure- and it says to split the holiday by agreement. Let me be clear, child would spend the actual holiday itself and the evening of christmas eve with dad.

Dad will not even entertain conversation on the matter.

Which leads me to my questions

1. Part of the motivation for a request for mod is based on dad's unwillingness to promote a relationship between child & myself, refusal to coparent. That being said...strategy wise, how and how far should I push this Holiday time split issue to get the most out of it in court? I know that basically whatever dad wants for the holiday is what is going to happen- he's the cp , really I have no options when it comes to the break, I can't force him to release the child.

2. We will have at least one mediation session and a status conference before the holidays, he won't agree to anything in mediation- he's basically already told me that, should I ask the judge during the status conference to address the holiday issue, or would it just be more beneficial to let dad continue to play Hitler and have even more proof for when we go to court after the holidays?

 

[stealth2]

I personally think making kids split the holiday is not in their best interests. I prefer a plan where holidays are rotated between parents each year. i.e. Mom gets Christmas even years, Dad gets the odd, or vice-versa.

 

[CJane]

GETTING A NEW GAL!!!!!!!

YAY!!!!!!!!!

so I went back and re-read my order- just to make sure- and it says to split the holiday by agreement. Let me be clear, child would spend the actual holiday itself and the evening of christmas eve with dad.

You mean the Winter Break period, not the holiday, right? So you're saying dad gets the first 1/2 of the BREAK and you the second?

strategy wise, how and how far should I push this Holiday time split issue to get the most out of it in court?

I would send dad an email, since you're allowed to do that now, and tell him that you will be exercising the second half of the winter break as your visitation. State in the email that unless he responds with an alternative by X date, you will assume he agrees with this schedule.

It's not really enforcable, but it gives you something to take to court. Attach a read receipt so you can prove when it was opened/read.

should I ask the judge during the status conference to address the holiday issue

I'd bring it up if there's opportunity. Simply state that with the holidays fast approaching, you'd appreciate it if she/he could clarify that one issue sooner rather than later.

How'd you swing the new GAL?

 

[Zephyr]

when I filed the GAL responded to the court saying he hadn't been reappointed he wasn't showing up- then the judge asked if I had a problem with keeping him, I said no I understood you can't swtich horses midrace so he offered to reappoint the old one, and the old one refused the appointment....his credibility is really one the line with this one- all the issues we are going back to court over are issues he used to justify child being in that home in the first place....and well- he was wrong


oh and yes I meant the winter break

 

[CJane]

when I filed the GAL responded to the court saying he hadn't been reappointed he wasn't showing up- then the judge asked if I had a problem with keeping him, I said no I understood you can't swtich horses midrace so he offered to reappoint the old one, and the old one refused the appointment....his credibility is really one the line with this one- all the issues we are going back to court over are issues he used to justify child being in that home in the first place....and well- he was wrong

WOW. That's like the best possible scenario. YOU look all accomodating and understanding and get the new GAL anyway.

WOO HOO!

 

[Zephyr]

WOW. That's like the best possible scenario. YOU look all accomodating and understanding and get the new GAL anyway.

WOO HOO!

my thoughts exactly!