Violating parenting plan!!

[skanescristina]

Washington State,


Hi, my husband and I are currently living in the Washington State area but the issue is also taking place in the state of Montana.

My husband has been going on a constant battle with his ex wife for about 6 years now, he was able to see his kids like a couple years ago, but than some things had came about and she decided she was no longer going to let him see his kids anymore, she moves them across the states to be with these other men all the time, has kids with them leaves them and does it all over again. She doesn't abide by the parenting plan ever, says the little ones never want to see him, won't let us take them to Disneyland or Disney World and we ask to do so she says he is nothing but a worthless father and so much more, I am just so un sure what to do anymore and I mean he pays child support every month and she is just not doing what she is suppose to do so please help us..

 

[Proserpina]

Washington State,


Hi, my husband and I are currently living in the Washington State area but the issue is also taking place in the state of Montana.

My husband has been going on a constant battle with his ex wife for about 6 years now, he was able to see his kids like a couple years ago, but than some things had came about and she decided she was no longer going to let him see his kids anymore, she moves them across the states to be with these other men all the time, has kids with them leaves them and does it all over again. She doesn't abide by the parenting plan ever, says the little ones never want to see him, won't let us take them to Disneyland or Disney World and we ask to do so she says he is nothing but a worthless father and so much more, I am just so un sure what to do anymore and I mean he pays child support every month and she is just not doing what she is suppose to do so please help us..

What has Dad done to enforce his parenting plan? Has it been 2 years ago since he saw the children?

 

[skanescristina]

What has Dad done to enforce his parenting plan? Has it been 2 years ago since he saw the children?

It has been four years since she has let him see or even to speak to him.

 

[Proserpina]

It has been four years since she has let him see or even to speak to him.

Well, he hasn't seen them in 4 years...depending on the age of the children, he may need to modify the parenting plan to include a step-up reintroduction plan.

The court might be interested in why he hasn't done anything for the past 4 years; then again the reasoning really won't affect things too much although he can't really claim that he's been fighting all this for his rights - he hasn't.

Is the order out of WA or Montana?

 

[stealth2]

It has been four years since she has let him see or even to speak to him.

Yes, but what has HE done (i.e. kept detailed records of his attempts to pick the child(ren) up, taken her to court for contempt, etc.) to enforce his rights? He has to take some action...

 

[Ladyback1]

I mean he pays child support every month and she is just not doing what she is suppose to do so please help us..

Just paying child support doesn't equate to your husband doing what he is suppose to.
He should have been doing everything possible to see his kids. Not just asking if he can see them.
This has been going on for 4 years! He hasn't filed for contempt? (and if the court orders are out of Montana, filing for contempt pro se is easy!) He hasn't attempted to modify the parenting plan? (again, if it's Montana you're dealing with, it is simple).

All of Montana's forms for contempt and modification are online, with very clear and concise instructions on how to file!

ETA: I can say that the Judicial district I'm in, is very pro "in the best interest of the child" and takes a dim view of parents playing games. And that is true of most Judicial districts.

Also, who's the driving force at this point regarding enforcing visitation? You or Dad? How long have you been married? See, it does no good to jump through the hoops to enforce visitation if YOU are the driving force.

 

[CJane]

I'm curious what "things came about" that led to dad's abdication of parenting responsibilities 4 years ago.

 

[stealth2]

It would likely be most productive if Dad were to answer the relevant questions...

 

[TheGeekess]

I'm curious what "things came about" that led to dad's abdication of parenting responsibilities 4 years ago.

And now he's got a new wife who seems to be aching to play house.

 

[skanescristina]

And now he's got a new wife who seems to be aching to play house.

What you mean by me playing house?

 

[LdiJ]

What you mean by me playing house?

We are a bit cynical here because your situation follows a very common pattern. A father goes for many years without attempting to take any legal action to see his children. Then, he gets married to someone and suddenly mom is this horrible person for keeping him from his children.

A high percentage of the time it wasn't mom who caused the problem in the first place, it was dad. Whether through disinterest, or lack of money to travel because he moved to another state, or for many other reasons that are not mom's fault. Much of the time mom doesn't even have any means to contact dad because he doesn't keep her informed of his address or phone number.

The new wife pushes him to see his children, or he starts pushing because he doesn't want to look like a bad father to his new wife, and of course mom resists. Why? Often because the children don't even remember who he is, or because she is afraid that he will bail on them again...and sadly, that often happens as well.

Even when mom is a major part of the problem its still dad's fault if he goes for four years without seeing his children. Why? Because the legal means to do so has been available to him the entire time, and it was his choice not to avail himself of those means.

So, if your husband really does want to be part of his children's lives, its time to avail himself of those means now. The last thing that he should attempt to do is paint mom as the horrible person who kept him from his children, because the court will not buy it.

The same things apply if its mom who has gone four years without seeing her children.

 

[Proserpina]

We are a bit cynical here because your situation follows a very common pattern. A father goes for many years without attempting to take any legal action to see his children. Then, he gets married to someone and suddenly mom is this horrible person for keeping him from his children.

A high percentage of the time it wasn't mom who caused the problem in the first place, it was dad. Whether through disinterest, or lack of money to travel because he moved to another state, or for many other reasons that are not mom's fault. Much of the time mom doesn't even have any means to contact dad because he doesn't keep her informed of his address or phone number.

The new wife pushes him to see his children, or he starts pushing because he doesn't want to look like a bad father to his new wife, and of course mom resists. Why? Often because the children don't even remember who he is, or because she is afraid that he will bail on them again...and sadly, that often happens as well.

Even when mom is a major part of the problem its still dad's fault if he goes for four years without seeing his children. Why? Because the legal means to do so has been available to him the entire time, and it was his choice not to avail himself of those means.

So, if your husband really does want to be part of his children's lives, its time to avail himself of those means now. The last thing that he should attempt to do is paint mom as the horrible person who kept him from his children, because the court will not buy it.

The same things apply if its mom who has gone four years without seeing her children.

(One day, my "like" button will work)

^^^^ This. Absolutely.

 

[cbg]

I Liked it for you. And for myself, as well.