Visitation Change = Blackmail?

[CuckoosNest]

What is the name of your state? CT

Currently, I have limited visitation (one night every two weeks) with my kids, ages 12 and 17. They have expressed a strong interest in expanding visitation. I recently worked up a realistic plan based on their wishes and presented it to their mother.

In return, their mother has made it clear that she'll honor the plan if, and only if, I agree to change the amount of child support I pay to an amount grossly beyond what the state says I should be paying based on my income.

This strikes me as extortion, and I'm prepared to go to court over the issue... could the information I outlined above be used in defense of my case?

 

[ceara19]

What is the name of your state? CT

Currently, I have limited visitation (one night every two weeks) with my kids, ages 12 and 17. They have expressed a strong interest in expanding visitation. I recently worked up a realistic plan based on their wishes and presented it to their mother.

In return, their mother has made it clear that she'll honor the plan if, and only if, I agree to change the amount of child support I pay to an amount grossly beyond what the state says I should be paying based on my income.

This strikes me as extortion, and I'm prepared to go to court over the issue... could the information I outlined above be used in defense of my case?

Is your "limited visitation" court ordered? If so, WHY was "limited visitation" ordered?

 

[Shay-Pari'e]

Also,

Do not agree to anything with mom. Attempt to modify through the courts. If you have her agreeing , but only based on more support, a judge may be swayed with that.

The anser to Ceara's question must be addressed first.

 

[CuckoosNest]

The limited visitation was court-ordered and it came about because of the following (and this is honestly how it happened):

After the divorce, I had to live with my parents until getting on my feet. The kids were allowed overnight visits at the time. During a dinnertime conversation, there were some jokes about the food (meatballs) that were borderline off-color (call it PG-13). It honestly wasn't anything that the kids wouldn't hear at school or at their mother's house on a regular basis, but that didn't matter... their mother heard about it and used it as a tool in court, claiming that my mother was an inappropriate influence. It wasn't true, but it came down to her word against mine and she won out.

My mother has since passed away and I have owned my own home for several years. I would have requested the change sooner, but truly I was waiting for the kids to want the change to happen, and that came about recently.

 

[BelizeBreeze]

File for a modification of visitation. You can do this without addressing custody and/or support. State your case and be done with it.

And the next time the ex mentions child support tell her if she wants to continue that discussion you will present the district attorney with a certified transcript of your last conversation so that he/she can begin extortion proceedings against her.

 

[You Are Guilty]

You know, most judges will lower child support if the visitation is increased enough, on the theory that you shouldn't be forced to pay for the support of the children while they remain in your care.

 

[CuckoosNest]

This is all excellent news. Never mind how I feel... my kids will really benefit from the change. Thanks so much for the assistance.