visitation, children will not go

[fightingabuser]

What is the name of your state? Oregon

I am divorced with 2 children ages 8 and almost 10. Their father was acussed by my oldest of abuse 3 weeks ago in a public but dark loud place, he slammed her head against a metal pole which does have some padding but very thin,, she then ran out of the building with him followering her. He grabbed her and she bite him, he then placed her in the car where she vomited. When I heard of this by her I took her too her Dr. and he stated that she received a cuncussion. The local police have the report that my child made and so does CHD. After taking to the father and listening to his lies stateing nothing happened, the case worker informed him that he does not receive visitation for the following time, too let things cool off. Then DA did not prosecute him or do anything they said that it was " undecided"
Now they are suppose to go back there tonight, they refuse to and I was told not to physically put my children in the car and take them over there. This is not the first insident of abuse claimed by my daughters. The will not even speak to him on the phone and have not for 3 weeks. I am expecting the police to show up here tonight and then I will let my children tell them why they will not go there. I do have a restraining order against him but he enjoys driving past my house on a weekely basic. I do not want to keep my children from there father, but for there sake I must. I would rther be charged with protecting them than not. He has been abusive towards them and me since they were born. My daughter know has anger management problems and threatens to kill him if he ever harms her again. She has also stated to her counselor that she would rather die that see him. He does have visitation because of the divorce. He lives 3 blocks away. I have filed a motion for modification for visitation and they just recently after 3 weeks served him, he hides. Any suggestions?

 

[stealth2]

It would help you if you had something in writing from the case worker.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? Oregon

I am divorced with 2 children ages 8 and almost 10. Their father was acussed by my oldest of abuse 3 weeks ago in a public but dark loud place, he slammed her head against a metal pole which does have some padding but very thin,, she then ran out of the building with him followering her. He grabbed her and she bite him, he then placed her in the car where she vomited. When I heard of this by her I took her too her Dr. and he stated that she received a cuncussion. The local police have the report that my child made and so does CHD. After taking to the father and listening to his lies stateing nothing happened, the case worker informed him that he does not receive visitation for the following time, too let things cool off. Then DA did not prosecute him or do anything they said that it was " undecided"
Now they are suppose to go back there tonight, they refuse to and I was told not to physically put my children in the car and take them over there. This is not the first insident of abuse claimed by my daughters. The will not even speak to him on the phone and have not for 3 weeks. I am expecting the police to show up here tonight and then I will let my children tell them why they will not go there. I do have a restraining order against him but he enjoys driving past my house on a weekely basic. I do not want to keep my children from there father, but for there sake I must. I would rther be charged with protecting them than not. He has been abusive towards them and me since they were born. My daughter know has anger management problems and threatens to kill him if he ever harms her again. She has also stated to her counselor that she would rather die that see him. He does have visitation because of the divorce. He lives 3 blocks away. I have filed a motion for modification for visitation and they just recently after 3 weeks served him, he hides. Any suggestions?

Obtain the police reports, the counselor's reports, the Dr.s reports etc. and file them prior to the hearing in court re; modification. If the counselor &/or Dr. do not want to write you reports- file an affidavit/declaration stating what they've told you and provide their contact information for the courts.

If you feel they are in danger- contact children's services. If you feel no action is being taken (& it's a GENUINE concern for their welfare (keep them home & risk the consequences in court. IMO

When is the next court date?

Law enforcement 'usually' only takes a report, but does not physically force children to go on visitation. They usually lecture you and warn you and let the other parent file a report...however, if you told them the circumstances & explained a counselor advised them not seeing the other parent (& provided police report # from the original incident) odds are, they'll let the other parent file a report but do nothing & leave.

I said "Odds are". Sometimes police intervene- however, I've never seen a situation with a recent report of abuse where an officer physically forced a child to go. Just make sure you are doing the right thing.