Visitation denied...Again!

[mifelix]

What is the name of your state? Mississippi

I havn't talked to my two kids for 8 months now. All I get is an answering machine and/or cursed at by ex. I send gifts for birthdays, christmas, and various other times throught the year. I pay child support without fail.

Summer is coming around the bend and I'm getting frustrated. By the way, we have joint legal and my kids and ex live in Ohio.

I know to file contempt if she doesn't send them for the summer and to file contempt for no phone calls (it is in my decree that I get 2 days a week phone time for 2 hours each day). But, my question is does this really do anything? All my research shows that contempt my go back to court and the non-custodial gets a nice increase in CS, ex gets a slap on the hands, and the problem remains. At this point, I could care less about getting anybody in trouble, pointing fingers, etc. ALL I want is to have a relationship with my kids.

hypothetical scenario: If a non-cust parent gets a child during summer visitation and when the summer is over does NOT send the kids back, that non-cust parent could be in trouble for kidnapping. FACT. If on the other hand the cust parent fails to send the child for visitation (as court allows), wouldn't that be the same form of kidnapping? JUST A THOUGHT!

Any comments would be appreciated.

 

[Ohiogal]

What is the name of your state? Mississippi

I havn't talked to my two kids for 8 months now. All I get is an answering machine and/or cursed at by ex. I send gifts for birthdays, christmas, and various other times throught the year. I pay child support without fail.

Summer is coming around the bend and I'm getting frustrated. By the way, we have joint legal and my kids and ex live in Ohio.

Is the order in Ohio?

I know to file contempt if she doesn't send them for the summer and to file contempt for no phone calls (it is in my decree that I get 2 days a week phone time for 2 hours each day). But, my question is does this really do anything? All my research shows that contempt my go back to court and the non-custodial gets a nice increase in CS, ex gets a slap on the hands, and the problem remains. At this point, I could care less about getting anybody in trouble, pointing fingers, etc. ALL I want is to have a relationship with my kids.

2 hours of phone time? That is a lot. Have you documented each time you have attempted to call and left a message? Do you have bills showing your attempts?

hypothetical scenario: If a non-cust parent gets a child during summer visitation and when the summer is over does NOT send the kids back, that non-cust parent could be in trouble for kidnapping. FACT. If on the other hand the cust parent fails to send the child for visitation (as court allows), wouldn't that be the same form of kidnapping? JUST A THOUGHT!

It would be considered parental interference IF the non-custodial parent is SUPPOSED to SEND the children. How is your order written? Are you supposed to meet halfway? Are you supposed to provide transportation?
Any comments would be appreciated.

More details on what your order says about summer break visitation would be nice.

 

[mifelix]

The order is in Mississippi. She moved back to ohio 4 years ago.

2 hours is alot if could actually get the opportunity to have 2 hours. It is in my decree that I get 2 hours of phone time on Sundays and Thursdays between 6pm and 8pm.

It's easy to document my lost phone time, It is every single Sunday and Thursday from last August until now. I can dig up phone bills with connects for 1 min. to her number...you bet.

My order is written that we share visitation transportation 50/50. Whether that is meeting half-way or splitting airfare, etc.

What about if she doesn't send them? Is there any documentation that "contempt" actually works? Will the courts do anything other than increase CS and slap her on the hands? Will the contempt charges let me talk to and see my kids?

 

[LdiJ]

The order is in Mississippi. She moved back to ohio 4 years ago.

2 hours is alot if could actually get the opportunity to have 2 hours. It is in my decree that I get 2 hours of phone time on Sundays and Thursdays between 6pm and 8pm.

It's easy to document my lost phone time, It is every single Sunday and Thursday from last August until now. I can dig up phone bills with connects for 1 min. to her number...you bet.

My order is written that we share visitation transportation 50/50. Whether that is meeting half-way or splitting airfare, etc.

What about if she doesn't send them? Is there any documentation that "contempt" actually works? Will the courts do anything other than increase CS and slap her on the hands? Will the contempt charges let me talk to and see my kids?

Ok...obviously in the past when you have filed contempt, mom has filed for a CS increase at the same time. Which means that you probably aren't filing for contempt often enough.

Go get yourself a consult with a local attorney. You need to get more agressive about your visitation rights.

However, unless you have been showing up on her doorstep to pick them up when its time for your visitation, and she has denied you then...then it might be difficult to prove denial.

Plus...if you take action now to attempt to enforce visitation rights, you may be able to guarantee that you get your summer visitation this year.

 

[CJane]

Will the courts do anything other than increase CS and slap her on the hands? Will the contempt charges let me talk to and see my kids?

Why are you so convinced that if you take her to court for contempt for denying visitation that child support would be increased? That seems... odd.

Contempt charges won't MAKE her do anything. What they might do is illicit anything from a slap on the wrist to fines to jail time to a change in custody depending on a whole lot of factors.

 

[Halls]

Here is the thing about contempt. You can file contempt on the phone calls than before court mom lets you talk to the kids and therefore not being in contempt anymore. Contempt is enforcement. Sometimes just filing may get the other parent to cooperate. Around here a mom could deny visitation over and over and than dad could file contempt, but if it goes to court and the judge finds out that mom has been allowing the visitation since the filing the likely hood of anything but a slap on the wrist happening is slim to none.

So, do whatever you have to do!

 

[mifelix]

However, unless you have been showing up on her doorstep to pick them up when its time for your visitation, and she has denied you then...then it might be difficult to prove denial.

I really can't just show up due to the distance involved. Denial IS denial, no matter what form. My court order says specifically that I get them on X day for X amount of time. If they do not come during my time...what is to prove. It's already been denied and proved.

Why are you so convinced that if you take her to court for contempt for denying visitation that child support would be increased?

Because my ex is very "money hungry" and has told me over and over that if I take her back to court, prepare for an increase. I feel like I'm being extorted!

My ex not only alienated me from the kids, she also alienated her entire family including grandparents, and also my entire side (grandparents). NOBODY can see or talk to the kids.

How Derpressing!

 

[CJane]

I really can't just show up due to the distance involved. Denial IS denial, no matter what form. My court order says specifically that I get them on X day for X amount of time. If they do not come during my time...what is to prove. It's already been denied and proved.

Is the only visitation that's currently being denied the phone calls? Have you attempted to make arrangements for summer yet?

Because my ex is very "money hungry" and has told me over and over that if I take her back to court, prepare for an increase. I feel like I'm being extorted!

You're allowing her to keep you from filing contempt by threatening you with an increase in support. That's your choice. Google a child support calculator for the state that the order is from, insert the numbers and see if an increase would be likely.

My ex not only alienated me from the kids, she also alienated her entire family including grandparents, and also my entire side (grandparents). NOBODY can see or talk to the kids.

Honestly? She's not under any legal obligation to allow anyone except you to see/interact with the kids, and then only as the court order stipulates.

 

[LdiJ]

I really can't just show up due to the distance involved. Denial IS denial, no matter what form. My court order says specifically that I get them on X day for X amount of time. If they do not come during my time...what is to prove. It's already been denied and proved.

No it hasn't...and yes you certainly could just "show up"...despite the distance.

There is a difference between NOT exercising your visitation and the CP denying you your time.

Not exercising your visitation is your choice....her denying you is contempt. You have what appears to be a somewhat vague order regarding transportation, which could end up making it look like you chose not to exercise your visitation.

Unless the court orders state that mom is to provide the transportation at the beginning of visitation (and apparently they don't) ...then its not up to mom to "send" them, its up to you to "get" them.

I hope you understand what I am saying.

 

[mifelix]

Unless the court orders state that mom is to provide the transportation at the beginning of visitation (and apparently they don't) ...then its not up to mom to "send" them, its up to you to "get" them.

I totally understand and havn't looked at it this way, thanks. I am planning on driving up to Ohio and get the kids on the day the order specifies for summer.

Have you attempted to make arrangements for summer yet?

Yes I try every phone call (talking to machine) to arrange for the summer.

 

[CJane]

I totally understand and havn't looked at it this way, thanks. I am planning on driving up to Ohio and get the kids on the day the order specifies for summer.



Yes I try every phone call (talking to machine) to arrange for the summer.

If you have a specific date when summer begins for you, then yes show up at her door on that day (or send one-way plane tickets for the kids). If she denies you by not being there, or not having the kids there, or not putting them on the plane, THEN she's in contempt. Also, if you pick them up, or provide plane tickets to get them to you, it's up to her to get them home at the end of summer.

 

[LdiJ]

If you have a specific date when summer begins for you, then yes show up at her door on that day (or send one-way plane tickets for the kids). If she denies you by not being there, or not having the kids there, or not putting them on the plane, THEN she's in contempt. Also, if you pick them up, or provide plane tickets to get them to you, it's up to her to get them home at the end of summer.

I don't agree about the plane ticket thing...at least not this time. He needs to show up at her door.

However I do agree that getting them back to her would be her responsibility.

 

[two4two]

Does the ex not allow you to speak to the children, or do the children not WANT to talk to you on the phone?
Eight months is a long time to be out of a childs life and them accept it.
Plus, are you telling the children when you do speak with them that your your "pshyco"(?) ex wife (the childrens mother who they are around daily) is the reason you are not seeing them?

 

[CJane]

Does the ex not allow you to speak to the children, or do the children not WANT to talk to you on the phone?

This is irrelevant.

Eight months is a long time to be out of a childs life and them accept it.
Plus, are you telling the children when you do speak with them that your your "pshyco"(?) ex wife (the childrens mother who they are around daily) is the reason you are not seeing them?

Where in the he** did you get that he was doing this?

 

[mifelix]

Does the ex not allow you to speak to the children, or do the children not WANT to talk to you on the phone?

This same thing (no talking on the phone) happed about 2 years ago and lasted 7 months. My oldest daughter told me that she did NOT want to talk to me. She even said she wanted her new step-daddy to be her read daddy and for me to go away. (That HURT...real bad) Then, my ex was going through a divorce with her new husband and sent the kids down to me for the summer while she dealt with her problems. (A good thing for me ) My daughter opened up to me (on her own) and told me that she was forced to say those things to me by her mother and husband.

So, of the few times that I have been able to talk to them on the phone, I NEVER say anything about their mother. I keep the conversation fun and talk about things they want to talk about. (Side note: My daughter and I have always been extremely close). I don't take her "daddy" comment to heart as she said she was forced.

My daughter went behind her mothers back one evening about 5 months ago and emailed me. She said she loves me. However, she was caught and I havn't heard from her since.

Eight months is a long time to be out of a childs life and them accept it.

Your right, this is a very long time and the kids accept it. I don't think they are accepting it and I believe that the kids are suffering because of it. I just don't think they know how to deal with it so they don't say anything. I do know that thier grades are poor. They are always poor when I'm not it their lives. Whenever I have talked to them in the past, their grades have always been B's (average). The latest report card was D's.