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Visitation exchange

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MBMom

Member
What is the name of your state? Oklahoma/California

I just have a simple question regarding visitation from state to state. When the Judge made gave his decision regarding custody, he stated that when our son goes fror visitation with his dad, it needs to be within a day or two of him getting out school, and be returned in time for him to "settle in, re-coup and readjust to the time zone difference". He said he didn't want to see the dad returning him the day before school because that was not reasonable, however, he never gave a specific amount of time. He basically was trying to make it reasonable for a 6 year old as well as allow my son's dad to get as much time with our son as possible, which I completely understand. I would imagine that only needs to be a couple days or so, but I'm in the middle of trying to schedule a return flight for my son, and my son's dad is insisting I make it on a Sunday before he starts school on Monday. That's not what the Judge said, but it apparently doesn't matter to my son's dad. Plus, our court order has taken over 3 months to get even close to being finalized. My ex's attorney is attempting to add in or take out many things the Judge either didn't say or did, but he doesn't like. So at this point, we don't even have a finalized order to go by, except the transcript of the Judge's ruling.

My question is, since there are many out there who have children going back and forth between two states, what is the norm for returning children from their visitation with the non-custodial parent? My goal isn't to take away time from my ex with our son at all, but is one day sooner too much to ask for our son's sake??? Or in the eyes of those thinking I'm trying to be a sneaky custodial parent, should my son just be lucky to have a chance to settle in or get any sleep before hopping right back into school??
 


LdiJ

Senior Member
MBMom said:
What is the name of your state? Oklahoma/California

I just have a simple question regarding visitation from state to state. When the Judge made gave his decision regarding custody, he stated that when our son goes fror visitation with his dad, it needs to be within a day or two of him getting out school, and be returned in time for him to "settle in, re-coup and readjust to the time zone difference". He said he didn't want to see the dad returning him the day before school because that was not reasonable, however, he never gave a specific amount of time. He basically was trying to make it reasonable for a 6 year old as well as allow my son's dad to get as much time with our son as possible, which I completely understand. I would imagine that only needs to be a couple days or so, but I'm in the middle of trying to schedule a return flight for my son, and my son's dad is insisting I make it on a Sunday before he starts school on Monday. That's not what the Judge said, but it apparently doesn't matter to my son's dad. Plus, our court order has taken over 3 months to get even close to being finalized. My ex's attorney is attempting to add in or take out many things the Judge either didn't say or did, but he doesn't like. So at this point, we don't even have a finalized order to go by, except the transcript of the Judge's ruling.

My question is, since there are many out there who have children going back and forth between two states, what is the norm for returning children from their visitation with the non-custodial parent? My goal isn't to take away time from my ex with our son at all, but is one day sooner too much to ask for our son's sake??? Or in the eyes of those thinking I'm trying to be a sneaky custodial parent, should my son just be lucky to have a chance to settle in or get any sleep before hopping right back into school??

When it comes to visits that are only a week or so, then its far more normal for the child to return on the Sunday before school starts.

If you are talking about longer visits (ie summer), its very normal to for the child to return a week before school starts.
 

MBMom

Member
I completely understand what you're saying, and this is not a short visit, but about 3 1/2 weeks. My son goes to a year-round school, so each of his visits (except for summer which is longer) are about the same amount of time. This is the first visitation situation, and there's already a problem.
 

Silverplum

Senior Member
If the kid is in year-round school with the shorter breaks, then it is not reasonable to take a week for the kid to "recoup."

I'd try to fly him back on Saturday evening so he can sleep and have Sunday to get ready to go back to school. IMHO.
 

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