Visitation with abusive step-mother

[amiegaines654]

What is the name of your state? Texas

I don't know if anyone remembers my original post, but I was having trouble enforcing my child support. I filed a case with the AG's office here in Texas, and they are working on it. My question today is this:

My ex-husband called and wanted my daughter to visit him this weekend. She said yes she wanted to go, so that was that. Well yesterday one of my daughters teachers said that she came to school and was crying. She said that my daughter said she didn't want to go because she is scared of her step-mother. Her dad works long hours, leaving my daughter with her step mom. Christmas was the last time that she saw her dad. She told me last night that while she was there, her half-sister and her had an incident. (They are sister and will probably not always get along lol it happens) My daughter said that her step-mom came in mad and slapped my daughter in the face.
Here is my dilima. She wants to see her Dad, and I want her to. Is there a way I can petition the court through the AG's office to modify the visitation to keep this woman away from my daughter? I am afraid that if I do that, he will not follow the order and still leave my daughter with this woman. I will never forgive myself if something happens to her down there!!
The way I understand it, I have to continue to let her go down there until I can get visitation modified. Does anyone have any advise??? I feel so torn

 

[djohnson]

Your gonna have to have hard proof to even have a shot keeping her away from the SM. Did you call CPS? The childs word isn't going to be good enough.

 

[Zephyr]

Have you talked to dad to find out if he is aware and allows sm to discipline child this way?

 

[amiegaines654]

Your gonna have to have hard proof to even have a shot keeping her away from the SM. Did you call CPS? The childs word isn't going to be good enough.

That is what I was afraid of. I don't have his address. He won't give it to me. Can I just call CPS and give his name and phone number? My daughter doesn't spend much time down there, so it will be hard to get evidence. I do have a picture that I took several years ago when she bruised my daughters arm, but that could be from anything so I don't really see it as any proof. I guess I am stuck

 

[djohnson]

Keep better records and call CPS if you have to. Doesn't your order say you have to know where your child is? That means address and telephone number. Or just do reverse number look up and find the address.

 

[amiegaines654]

Have you talked to dad to find out if he is aware and allows sm to discipline child this way?

Yes, but he doesn't believe me. My daughter said the last time she told him what the sm had done, her dad and s/m got into a BIG fight that included throwing beer bottles at each other.

 

[casa]

What is the name of your state? Texas

I don't know if anyone remembers my original post, but I was having trouble enforcing my child support. I filed a case with the AG's office here in Texas, and they are working on it. My question today is this:

My ex-husband called and wanted my daughter to visit him this weekend. She said yes she wanted to go, so that was that. Well yesterday one of my daughters teachers said that she came to school and was crying. She said that my daughter said she didn't want to go because she is scared of her step-mother. Her dad works long hours, leaving my daughter with her step mom. Christmas was the last time that she saw her dad. She told me last night that while she was there, her half-sister and her had an incident. (They are sister and will probably not always get along lol it happens) My daughter said that her step-mom came in mad and slapped my daughter in the face.
Here is my dilima. She wants to see her Dad, and I want her to. Is there a way I can petition the court through the AG's office to modify the visitation to keep this woman away from my daughter? I am afraid that if I do that, he will not follow the order and still leave my daughter with this woman. I will never forgive myself if something happens to her down there!!
The way I understand it, I have to continue to let her go down there until I can get visitation modified. Does anyone have any advise??? I feel so torn

If someone slapped my daughter in the face- I'd call the police and if they were a step-parent, I'd contact Child Protective Services.

Ask the teacher if she'd be willing to write a statement re; her conversation with your child and your child's emotional state having returned from the visit.

 

[Zephyr]

yes, I would certainly try to get some sort of documentation about these issues, you need to file a complaint with cps if anything like this happens again. a slap in the face is not discipline, it's abuse( and no I am not one of those I would never spank my kids ...) but there is never any reason to slap a child anywhere but on their rear or their hand.



can't you find out his address through child support?

 

[amiegaines654]

yes, I would certainly try to get some sort of documentation about these issues, you need to file a complaint with cps if anything like this happens again. a slap in the face is not discipline, it's abuse( and no I am not one of those I would never spank my kids ...) but there is never any reason to slap a child anywhere but on their rear or their hand.



can't you find out his address through child support?

I am not really sure how I would go about doucumenting anything since I am never around when she is at her dads. Any suggestions??

Should I call cps now, or should I wait for something else to happen?? I have to say that makes me really nervous.

 

[casa]

I am not really sure how I would go about doucumenting anything since I am never around when she is at her dads. Any suggestions??

Should I call cps now, or should I wait for something else to happen?? I have to say that makes me really nervous.

Protecting your child should not make you nervous- what are you nervous about?

If an adult who was not related by marriage (say a neighbor or friend of the family) slapped your child across the face, what would you do?

Normally I'd say speak with the father- and I do still recommend that- but that should not be your only remedy (based on his past failure to act)

 

[amiegaines654]

Protecting your child should not make you nervous- what are you nervous about?

If an adult who was not related by marriage (say a neighbor or friend of the family) slapped your child across the face, what would you do?

Normally I'd say speak with the father- and I do still recommend that- but that should not be your only remedy (based on his past failure to act)

I am nervous about having to let her go down there and wait for something to happen. Believe me, I would readily take this into my own hands, but I don't see that helping my case in the long run.

My question: Should I go ahead and call cps now, or wait until my daughter complains about the s/m again?

 

[brisgirl825]

I am nervous about having to let her go down there and wait for something to happen. Believe me, I would readily take this into my own hands, but I don't see that helping my case in the long run.

My question: Should I go ahead and call cps now, or wait until my daughter complains about the s/m again?

You need to do it now. You need to have proof of everything that happens. If something like this happens again and you didn't call CPS for this time, they're going to ask you "why?". If you are afraid for your daughter's well-being you need to document everything and a CPS report is documentation.

You should also remind dad that his daughter's safety is his responsibility when she is with him. His failure to act could result in some negative things for him. Losing visitation rights, even criminal prosecution. Maybe that'll kick his a$$ into putting SM in her place.

Sarah

 

[Zephyr]

how old is the child? I may be wrong but if you are just learning about this slap in the face now after your daughter has spoken with the teacher you should file a cps report. just because you were not aware of it for a period of time does not mean they won't deal with it now, and cps going and interveiwing sm might make her think twice before slapping someone again.

 

[amiegaines654]

Update

I just got off of the phone with my ex. My cell phone has a record feature where I can record in 1 minute increments. I recorded the conversation. I told him that our daughter was scared of his g/f. He said he was aware, of the sitiuation, "what else". I said, do you know that she slapped our daughter, he said "hell no, nobody slapped anybody. Are you stupid?" I said, so are you calling our daughter a liar, and he said yes.

I am going to call CPS now. Can this phone conversation be used in any way?

 

[amiegaines654]

She is 8 years old