want opinions

[norm9838]

What is the name of your state? Indiana I signed papers today with my child’s mother on visitation. In the papers, I agreed to let my child continue going to the school she is enrolled in.

The originally papers they sent me to review stated that I had the right to investigate and make sure that she was legally enrolled.

Why you might ask…because I do not want to be responsible for tuition. One I did not enroll her, two she did not ask my opinion in doing so. So as of such I do not feel that I should have to pay tuition if it comes into question. Just in case you might ask, yes I have joint legal custody.

I know this sounds odd but I believe that when her mother is signing her up that she is doing so illegally. She lives outside of the school district she is attending and she is going there because it is a convenience for her mother, not because of educational issues.

My only other concern with the school she is attending is that she is getting the best education she can get.

So here’s the question… If mom is caught doing something illegal and she has to pay tuition, could I be held responsible too because I agreed to let her go there to the school her mother enrolled her in.

 

[Halls]

You don't have to pay tuition for public schools. Is your daughter going to a private school? If this is the case this is not illegal of the mom to have your daughter go to a private school.

 

[Zephyr]

You don't have to pay tuition for public schools. Is your daughter going to a private school? If this is the case this is not illegal of the mom to have your daughter go to a private school.

sometimes- in open enrollment situation you do have to pay for the child to attend the school district they are not a resident of.....

 

[fairisfair]

she could have received a variance from the school. (although Z is right, sometimes the schools will charge a fee)

 

[norm9838]

If you are taking your child to another school district then the one you leave in, yes you have to pay tuition.
A child can attend another school district if there is an educational need that is not being met and can be met in one close to where they live, but it has to be approved by the state.

Both school corporations, the one that the child lives in and the one they are transferring to have to be made aware of the transfer.

My ex has enrolled our child and is stating that my daughter is living with one of her husbands relatives and that this relative is her educational guardian.

She even drops her off at that house so she can ride the bus to school from there.

 

[fairisfair]

well, since you asked for opinions and not legal advice, I am really good at opinions!!

My opinion is that you are just looking for trouble and ways to create it.

Is your daughter doing well in school? Are her academic needs being served? Obviously for some reason this other school seems to work out better for your ex, and perhaps for your daughter as well? You have not been asked to pay any fees, nor do I see anyway in which you would be held responsible for the choices made by your ex wife. You do not mention any court order regarding tuition for school so what exactly is your concern?

Sounds like you are just out to try to make things inconvenient for your ex.

 

[norm9838]

Yes, I guess I did ask for opinions and not legal advice. But either would have been welcome.

In a nutshell here are the issues.

1) No, she is not doing well. She barely passed the last two grades.
2) On Thursdays when I have her overnight I am never told until that day, where I am to drop her off at in the morning. Moms, school or the relatives. Which if she was attending the school where she lives she would ride the bus to school from her house.
Also I am like most people I do have a job that I go to each day and cannot just constantly change my hours.

The things above I am trying to deal with as best I can.

I just wonder if any of you thought that I could be held responsible for tuition? Is it like when you take a child to the doctor, the parent taking the child signs for responsibility if they cannot collect from insurance?

I am not trying to be mean or spiteful. But don’t you think it is odd that they change the wording around that three times.

The first time it was, mom will provide documentation of proof.
Second was that I could investigate and make sure she was legally enrolled without interference.
Finally the last final paper stated that I agreed to allow my daughter to attend that school.

What would you of thought?

 

[fairisfair]

Yes, I guess I did ask for opinions and not legal advice. But either would have been welcome.

In a nutshell here are the issues.

1) No, she is not doing well. She barely passed the last two grades.

is that before or after the school change??
2) On Thursdays when I have her overnight I am never told until that day, where I am to drop her off at in the morning. Moms, school or the relatives. Which if she was attending the school where she lives she would ride the bus to school from her house.
Also I am like most people I do have a job that I go to each day and cannot just constantly change my hours.

how much of a distance difference are we talking about here? I do agree, last minute notice is not acceptable. But they are telling you the night before correct?

The things above I am trying to deal with as best I can.

I just wonder if any of you thought that I could be held responsible for tuition? Is it like when you take a child to the doctor, the parent taking the child signs for responsibility if they cannot collect from insurance?that is written into your support orders, is there anything about school tuition in yours?? or payment of any kind of extra expenses??


I am not trying to be mean or spiteful. But don_t you think it is odd that they change the wording around that three times.

The first time it was, mom will provide documentation of proof.
Second was that I could investigate and make sure she was legally enrolled without interference.
Finally the last final paper stated that I agreed to allow my daughter to attend that school.

don't agree to that part, or change it, I would leave it up to mom to provide documentation, as far as you investigating, you are her father, you have the right to any and all school documents just like mom does, write to the school and insist that you be supplied with copies with all report cards, special notifications, etc.

What would you of thought?

I'd have thought, mom is trying to do what is convenient for HER, and apparently she does have the responsibility for the greater share of time, and maybe kiddo will do better in this school, now what can I do to be sure that she does?

 

[norm9838]

She was an A B student before she enrolled her in this school.

I live 35 miles from mom. It depends which schedule mom is on 12 hours or 8. If they work 12 then her and husband have opposite shifts, so they take her to school or to the relatives. If they work 8 they work the same shift so she has to go to the relatives to get on the bus.

The last time she told me the night before right before she got ready for bed. How long I asked her did she know that the relative was not going to be there? Oh, she said mom and her knew for two or three weeks. I was late for work.


Thanks for the advice.

 

[fairisfair]

okay, it doesn't make sense that if you know the night before, that this is what is making you late for work, but whatever, the more important issue is your daughter and her education, you and mom need to work together on that issue. so, you have already agreed to let her attend the school that she is in, so that is just water under the bridge, what can you do to help her? how old is she?? what kind of special help programs are available at her school? is she not capable of doing the work? or is she just not doing it? does she have any kind of learning disability? have you considered a tutor or a learning school (sylvan) comes to mind? (not an endorsement by any means, I have no experience with them). Are there other issues that may be causing your daughter to act out. Your DIVORCE for example?? Is she in counseling?

 

[nextwife]

okay, it doesn't make sense that if you know the night before, that this is what is making you late for work, but whatever, the more important issue is your daughter and her education, you and mom need to work together on that issue.

Yes, it could. For example, I set up my first customer calls of the next day based upon where I need to be in the morning.. Say I'm taking daughter to something after school, I will set up my appointments and meetings geographically to get me to the right part of town at that time of day, whereas if she is staying at school for Brownies or whatever, I may plan my customer call route differently that day. Not all jobs require a person to go to a single, same loacation every day. I'd go BONKERS trying to coordinate my first appointments if I did not know a few days in advance where I needed to be beforehand!

It has nothing to do with something being a "priority over my child". It has to do with efficient use of the wark day. I try not to plan appointments that zig and zag all over the place, I progress geographically out and back.

Dad has every right to have an established schedule and know where his kid needs to be each morning-BEFORE the night before.

 

[fairisfair]

Yes, it could. I set up my first customer calls of the next day based upon where I need to be in the mor ning, for exa,ple. Say I'm taking daughter to something after school, I will set up my appoinyments and meetings geographically to get me to the right part of town at that time of day, whereas if she is staying at school for Brownies or whatever, I may plan my customer call route differently that day. Not all jobs require a person to go to a single, same loacation every day. I'd go BONKERS trying to coordinate my first appointments if I did not know a few days in advance where I needed to be beforehand!

Dad has every right to have an established schedule and know where his kid needs to be each morning-BEFORE the night before.

I agree that the last minute notification is unacceptable, but he also knows a week in advance (actually forever in advance )which day he has his daughter, and he knows that this school thing is a recurring problem. I was thinking maybe it is because if he has to take her to school he can't drop her off there until a certain time, anyway that isn't his major issue, it should be his daughter and her troubles in school.