WE need more organsizations like this !

[VeronicaGia]

No, not really. What we really need is a system that enforces visitation and joint custody in the way child support is enforced. None of these women mention whether or not they "allow" the fathers to be involved with their kids, which is priceless.....

 

[haiku]

No, not really. What we really need is a system that enforces visitation and joint custody in the way child support is enforced. None of these women mention whether or not they "allow" the fathers to be involved with their kids, which is priceless.....

Exactly! Time with children is as important and even more so then the money......

 

[NotSoNew]

No, not really. What we really need is a system that enforces visitation and joint custody in the way child support is enforced. None of these women mention whether or not they "allow" the fathers to be involved with their kids, which is priceless.....

i agree with Veronica on this, what we need is a better system, not groups like this!

 

[betterthanher]

Wrong Forum

Sorry to disappoint you, but your browser must be playin' tricks on you. This is not some pro-woman's forum. As you can see, even the women who responded disagree with this. Time for me to attack the stupid-a** article.

In a back room inside the Fresh Meadows library, six middle-aged women sat around a table strewn with file folders and bags of pretzels.

They've eaten so many pretzels, that's all the can fit at the table. The table usually can seat 15.

A mother of two from Flushing was trying to explain the difficulty of squeezing child support payments from her ex-husband, whom she left years ago to escape domestic violence.
"It's been dragged out at court and the whole time they look at you like the moms are crazy, but really it's the men who are crazy," the 32-year-old woman said. Then as if apologizing for her criticism, she added, "I'm just bitter about what my kids are going through with their father."

And what are they allegedly going through with their father? I like the way the author of this article either didn't ask or omitted it.

The woman, along with most of the others, requested that her name not be used out of fear that her husband would find out where she was - at an informational forum where single mothers meet once a month to learn how best to expedite the routinely sluggish process of collecting child support payments.

Hmmm...so they're complaining about the problems they're having "squeezing" child support out of their ex's, but yet these women have no problems completely running over one's right to due process. Morons.

The program is part of a nationwide organization called ACES, or Association for Children for Enforcement of Support. Debbie Ecker, an ACES coordinator, started the Queens chapter five years ago.

Groups like this really need to stop putting any reference to children/child/kids in their titles. It has absolutely nothing to do with the kids. It has to do with the pocketbooks of these women.

"We teach them how the courts work so when they go there they can get what they want," Ecker explained at the meeting one recent Thursday. That includes showing mothers how to subpoena financial records from former spouses, file petitions for arrears and know when to stand up to a judge or court clerk.

Hmm....interesting. You mean to tell me the abundance of attorneys who specialize in this weren't available? Taxpayers shouldn't be forking out money to support this. These women can stop buying pretzels and get an attorney like their ex's have to.

Danette Mazzarello, of Bayside, is seeking around $65,000. Raising four children alone after divorcing her husband of 17 years, Mazzarello had this to say about her experience collecting money: "The city doesn't play nicely."

Hey Ms. Mazzarello -- do you have a job that pays a livable wage? Sorry anything retail or fast food doesn't count.

ACES has proven helpful, however, according to the mothers. Some have succeeded in collecting a portion of the payments. When one found out that her file had been lost in the court's records room, Ecker made a phone call and half the file turned up the next day. And just a few weeks ago ACES declared victory when the courts decided it would no longer require custodial parents not on welfare to pay a fee to register judgments against their spouses. Ecker said she had been fighting for that change for five years.

Again, why do taxpayers have to pay for this? I am sure if the guy walked in there, he'd be charged the filing fee. This is clearly discrimination.

But with every breakthrough there seems to come more roadblocks. Many of the women at the ACES meeting said, for instance, that some husbands try and hide their assets under different names and employment. Diane Bell, Ecker's ACES partner who also is seeking back payments, told of a friend whose ex-husband was an accountant in Jamaica Estates but worked as a pizza deliveryman on paper.

Oh and women don't pull this crap? This is no different than those CP's (women) who intentionally take low-paying jobs working at the mall or asking if you want to supersize it in an effort to get more support and NOT be financially responsible. How many of these women in this group actually have CAREERS??

Interesting...I hear crickets.

Despite what some may say, however, the group of women insist that the purpose of the ACES meetings was not to badmouth ex-husbands, but to get help in collecting money needed to raise their children.

Ok...I'll call it....bullsh!t!

"The whole idea is not to be vindictive but to get ahead," said Helen Jimenez, a physical therapist from Forest Hills and single mother of two. "We'd welcome men here if they had an open mind. Do you see us painting our nails or gossiping?"

No, they're eating pretzels and b!tching. Same thing.

 

[brownie]

Sorry to disappoint you, but your browser must be playin' tricks on you. This is not some pro-woman's forum. As you can see, even the women who responded disagree with this. Time for me to attack the stupid-a** article.

I never said/thought it was pro-woman's forum; it' s purpose is to assist those with answers to questions regarding child support issues, whether it be questions from CP trying to get rightfully deserving Child Support OR a NCP
who is paying to much......etc.

They've eaten so many pretzels, that's all the can fit at the table. The table usually can seat 15.

Must be an unnnecessary comment from an irrational/immature member that needs to GROW UP !

And what are they allegedly going through with their father? I like the way the author of this article either didn't ask or omitted it.

I am sure that if you write and ask, they will tell you! They are not afraid to answer any questions!

Hmmm...so they're complaining about the problems they're having "squeezing" child support out of their ex's, but yet these women have no problems completely running over one's right to due process. Morons.

If the NCP would pay their Child Support than CP's wouldn't have to find other ways of getting NCP's to pay CHild Support that is owed to their children.

Groups like this really need to stop putting any reference to children/child/kids in their titles. It has absolutely nothing to do with the kids. It has to do with the pocketbooks of these women.

The reply was inappropriate (like most of the others) because kids weren't mentioned (EXCEPT for the fact that CS is suppose to benefit the kids AND
CS is separate from custody AND visitation!)

Hmm....interesting. You mean to tell me the abundance of attorneys who specialize in this weren't available? Taxpayers shouldn't be forking out money to support this. These women can stop buying pretzels and get an attorney like their ex's have to.

If the NCP would pay CS to the CP, THEN the CP could afford a lawyer. ACES is an organization that helps them learn how to be Pro Se in court so they can win and get CS from non-paying NCP, without having to go broke paying for a lawyer for something that is rightfully theirs!

Danette Mazzarello, of Bayside, is seeking around $65,000. Raising four children alone after divorcing her husband of 17 years, Mazzarello had this to say about her experience collecting money: "The city doesn't play nicely."

Hey Ms. Mazzarello -- do you have a job that pays a livable wage? Sorry anything retail or fast food doesn't count.

Quote:
ACES has proven helpful, however, according to the mothers. Some have succeeded in collecting a portion of the payments. When one found out that her file had been lost in the court's records room, Ecker made a phone call and half the file turned up the next day. And just a few weeks ago ACES declared victory when the courts decided it would no longer require custodial parents not on welfare to pay a fee to register judgments against their spouses. Ecker said she had been fighting for that change for five years.

Again, why do taxpayers have to pay for this? I am sure if the guy walked in there, he'd be charged the filing fee. This is clearly discrimination.

Evidently , you can't READ, it says Custodial Parents (just not women), if you think it is discrimination, then go for a lawsuit...........I am sure that you won't win !

Oh and women don't pull this crap? This is no different than those CP's (women) who intentionally take low-paying jobs working at the mall or asking if you want to supersize it in an effort to get more support and NOT be financially responsible. How many of these women in this group actually have CAREERS??

Interesting...I hear crickets.

AGAIN, why don't you ask THEM? I am sure that men and women are both guilty of hiding their assets..............but, i am sure that NCP do it more than CP's !

Despite what some may say, however, the group of women insist that the purpose of the ACES meetings was not to badmouth ex-husbands, but to get help in collecting money needed to raise their children.

Ok...I'll call it....bullsh!t!

Only because you learned at the end of this letter that ACES does/was not trying to bad mouth EX's,they are just trying to help CP's collect CS that is owed to them !

Quote:
"The whole idea is not to be vindictive but to get ahead," said Helen Jimenez, a physical therapist from Forest Hills and single mother of two. "We'd welcome men here if they had an open mind. Do you see us painting our nails or gossiping?"

No, they're eating pretzels and b!tching. Same thing.

You can NOT say/ tell anything about ACES without a=ttending one of their meetings, so go for it AND THEN let us know what you learned at the meeting !

I am sure that IF you were owed CHILD SUPPORT, you would do whatever you could to get that $$$ from the NCP!

 

[betterthanher]

Dumbass responses

I never said/thought it was pro-woman's forum; it' s purpose is to assist those with answers to questions regarding child support issues, whether it be questions from CP trying to get rightfully deserving Child Support OR a NCP who is paying to much......etc.

Oh yeah rrriiiight. That's why you titled this thread the way you did. NCP paying too much? Where was that mentioned?

Must be an unnnecessary comment from an irrational/immature member that needs to GROW UP !

Oh that's original. Are you 15? Or maybe that comment hits a little too close to home? Nobody cares. Google 'sense of humor' why don't ya.

I am sure that if you write and ask, they will tell you! They are not afraid to answer any questions!

That's not the point. It's called Journalism 101. It shouldn't have even been included in the article, since it was irrelevant. But since it was mentioned, it should've been elaborated a little bit more. And don't bother challenging me on this...I've got awards in this field to prove it.

If the NCP would pay their Child Support than CP's wouldn't have to find other ways of getting NCP's to pay CHild Support that is owed to their children.

So organizing ANOTHER group to sit around, eat and talk huh? How many of these groups exist all over the place? It's the same as those groups regarding NCP's who have CP's screwing them over when it comes to custody and visitation issues. There are more groups who sit around and bitch and get nothing accomplished.
The legal fact of the matter is, there are laws in place and no group is going to be able expedite anything that railroads someone right to due process, which is exactly what this group's agenda is. It's obvious (it didn't help them that they mention about "expediting" things). If someone doesn't pay support, then states have processes in place to "encourage" them to pay up.
As you see on here, there are people who put forth the effort to avoid paying child support. If the person is going to hide, then they are. They are not only affecting the child, but they are affecting themselves as well in the long run. I am not saying it's right, but the system creates these problems...plain and simple.

The reply was inappropriate (like most of the others) because kids weren't mentioned (EXCEPT for the fact that CS is suppose to benefit the kids AND CS is separate from custody AND visitation!)

I don't give 2 craps if you thought it was inappropriate or not. If you want PC, you aren't going to get it from me or many others on here. The fact is, there are groups that claim they are about the kids, but aren't. It's called an agenda and they use the "kids" to get their word across, etc.

If the NCP would pay CS to the CP, THEN the CP could afford a lawyer.

That's bullsh!t! CS is not supposed to go to paying lawyer's fees. CS goes to children. That's why it's called CHILD support. That's up there with people who come on this forum saying they can't pay THEIR bills, etc. because of lack of child support. NO, you can't pay your bills because you have a job that pays crap. Most people can not afford a lawyer. Nice attempt at an excuse though.

ACES is an organization that helps them learn how to be Pro Se in court so they can win and get CS from non-paying NCP, without having to go broke paying for a lawyer for something that is rightfully theirs!

And there's an actual legit Pro Se organization out there that helps. Who says you their help to go Pro Se. How about researching the local court rules? Research the state rules and statutes. The fact is, Family Court Judges hate Pro Se defendants and plaintiffs.

Evidently , you can't READ, it says Custodial Parents (just not women), if you think it is discrimination, then go for a lawsuit...........I am sure that you won't win !

Oh...another original comeback. Yeah, I'd say you're 15. This is a group where a bunch of WOMEN are sitting around eating and complaining. So, my reference to women was correct. Get a clue, woman. If they're charging guys (NCP's) and not women (CP's) it's discrimination.
Your clouded vision (or as it's called -- bias) is obviously affecting what you're reading. I'm fine, thanks!

AGAIN, why don't you ask THEM? I am sure that men and women are both guilty of hiding their assets..............but, i am sure that NCP do it more than CP's !

Yeah both are guilty, but you missed the point -- once again. Both NCP's and CP's out there play their games. But like I said, the system creates these problems.

Only because you learned at the end of this letter that ACES does/was not trying to bad mouth EX's,they are just trying to help CP's collect CS that is owed to them !

Wrong -- it's owed to the children! Each parent is responsible for supporting themselves. Each parent is to financially support THEIR children.

You can NOT say/ tell anything about ACES without a=ttending one of their meetings, so go for it AND THEN let us know what you learned at the meeting !

I don't need to go to any meetings where a bunch of bitter people (in this case, women) sit around and b!tch. And I can say whatever the hell I want about groups like this. I spend several hours a day researching the laws. If they did the same, they'd be further than they are now.

I am sure that IF you were owed CHILD SUPPORT, you would do whatever you could to get that $$$ from the NCP!

You're damn right. Again, it wouldn't consist of going to meetings and getting nothing accomplished, which is pretty much what is happening.

You're just another prime example of those who are more about the money than the relationship between the child and their parents -- BOTH OF THEM!! Having a loving relationship with BOTH of their parents is alot more rewarding and goes alot further than a child support check.

Your agenda is as obvious as groups like this. If you didn't have one you:

1) wouldn't have provided this story
2) wouldn't have titled this thread in the way you did.

Thanks for playing. Score update -- me 2, you 0.

 

[GothicAngel]

No we do not need organizations like you!

What we need is an organization which allows fathers unlimited visitation to their children!

To me this is priceless, the amount of time a father gets to spend with his kids makes a greater impact on their lives.









My life is a realty show

 

[Crazed98]

To me this is priceless, the amount of time a father gets to spend with his kids makes a greater impact on their lives.

Doesn't mean it will be a positive impact.

 

[stargazer0725]

Didn't know we were keeping score here???

As a single mother with a limited (but adequate) budget, I can speak from experience about the problems getting legal instruction from sources other than those that make more in an hour than I do in a day - specifically, my attorney.

In order to keep legal expenses down, I try to do quite a lot of my own research both online and networking with others that I know that have been through the same situation personally. The few friends that I can talk to, however, have viewpoints that are limited by their personal experience. Which has brought me now and for the past several years to forums just like this one looking for ways to help myself and answer questions that I might have.

ACES meets a specific need...to help parents in collecting child support that has been awarded to them through the court system. The OP posted an article which mentions a site that helps people with legal advice, and she posted it in the CHILD SUPPORT forum. If she had posted under CUSTODY/VISITATION, then I'd say she had an agenda. Otherwise, I'd think it might be pretty relevant to the thread, considering that most people that come to here are desparately in need of something like this.

And to add a little something....Child Support ARREARAGES are not owed to be paid to directly influence the child's life (that's what CURRENT support is for). If I'm not mistaken, most CP's that are owed arrearages have spent the better part of those "support-less" years spending most of every penny they have to give their kids a good life. Which makes the arrearages owed to the parent that had to sacrifice (call it repayment of funds that never made it to savings, money for retirement fund that you haven't been able to contribute to, whatever you want to call it). This would be a DIRECT BENEFIT.

The point being, financial support was already provided by the CP out of his/her own pocket over the years to compensate for the lack of contribution from the obliger. If the obliger had taken responsibility in the beginning to share in the basic necessities for the children, then arrearages wouldn't accumulate, and the CP wouldn't have to bank their spare funds to the obliger. Those spare funds are an INDIRECT BENEFIT to the CP and belong rightly to him/her to spend as he/she sees fit (savings, a car, a vacuum cleaner, or a rolex watch they can afford it).

And finally, visitation and support of your children are equally important. But it's safe to assume that what might be more of a concern for one parent, might not be equally so for the other. I'm sure there are wonderful support groups out there for parents seeking visitation with their children, however I'd most probably come across the details while reading through the appropriate forum.

 

[VeronicaGia]

Doesn't mean it will be a positive impact.

It has to have a better impact on women being the only ones to raise kids. Look how well it's gone so far! Higher drop out rate, more poverty, more crime, more drugs, more out of wedlock births, higher divorce rates, the list is endless.


CAN WE PLEASE LOCK THIS THREAD?

 

[Crazed98]

It has to have a better impact on women being the only ones to raise kids. Look how well it's gone so far! Higher drop out rate, more poverty, more crime, more drugs, more out of wedlock births, higher divorce rates, the list is endless.


CAN WE PLEASE LOCK THIS THREAD?

How would having the child spend more time with an inadequate father help the situation?

 

[GothicAngel]

How would having the child spend more time with an inadequate father help the situation?


So are you saying ALL FATHERS are inadeqate and not capable of spending good quality time with their children?






My life is a reality show.

 

[VeronicaGia]

How would having the child spend more time with an inadequate father help the situation?


So are you saying ALL FATHERS are inadeqate and not capable of spending good quality time with their children?


My life is a reality show.

Of course they are! Only women are adequate parents!

 

[mom2sm2]

[/QUOTE]So are you saying ALL FATHERS are inadeqate and not capable of spending good quality time with their children?
[/QUOTE]


I am waiting on the response to this. It benefits the kids to have access to both parents unless there is some very good hard evidence to prove one or the other severly unfit and unhealthy to the child. All fathers are not inadeqate!!

 

[stargazer0725]

Guys…how come we're arguing generalities on whether father's deserve more visitation? Talk about a tangent…This was a simple post showing parents a group that offers legal help/advice to collect child support (granted, not practicing attorneys, but it's probably a signifant reason for people to be here).

Nobody said the ACES members weren't encouraging involvement with the other parent (nor did the article state that they weren't discouraging). There are WAY too many differences in everyone's situation to always assume the worst is going on.

As a "for instance"…my divorce was amicable, dad was a good father but didn't enjoy the everyday responsibilities of parenthood so he gave sole custody to me (with a very generous and flexible visitation agreement for him in return). He's a good father to my son when he's with him, but has trouble understanding that children's expenses don't disappear when our wallets are tight, not to mention a major procrastinator on the modification paperwork and communication which allowed his arrearage to accumulate the way it has. Not one time have I denied this man visitation, even though I'm frustrated as *ell with him for being irresponsible. I do this because it would only hurt my son.

I say all of this because there are people out there that do the right things to benefit the kids and then there are others that do whatever the heck they feel like and *amn the consequences. Most people are here because they've found themselves on one side of the fence or the other…persecuted or prosecutor. But we all need to work hard not to mis-judge the surroundings because of the "tint" on our glasses and let others that really need information like this get it right here.