we will fight this if we can

[mollymatters]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? tx

I am asking these things on behalf of my son. I have a 6 yr old grandson. The mom refuses to let my son see him. She says that he is in her mind unfit and wants him to darn near jump through hoops. She has told him he has to have a job for 3 months, take a drug test that she will provide but will not tell him when she is coming but would rather surprise him, and wants him to go to drug counseling. My son is 33 yrs old and has had a tough life, he is currently living with me. He has made many mistakes but is a good man inside. He would never hurt his son. She hasnt allowed him to see him since the boy was 9 months old. Recently she called him, she said all she usually does about how she wants him involved but he has to prove he is responsible. She then said she was thinking of putting him on child support which she knows he cant pay as he in unemployed. She is married and her husband is into computers or something and makes pretty good money, why she has to try and get my son in trouble is beyond me. i understand he is the dad and has responsibilities but she wont even let him see his son and is now threatening support. We heard from a friend of a friend that they are thinking of filing a petition for adoption. I am just furious, her husband is not my grandbabys dad and never will be. I appreciate all he has done for him and think him a good man for it but this is crossing the line. I have told my son what I heard and he is just sickened and had been drinking a lot more than usual, if they won he would be broken. What can my son do to win against them? He will have all of my support I will pay for his attorney if I have to but I am on disability and SSi and just barley make it myself. She isnt the perfect mom either, she has used drugs before mostly weed, they have partys at their house where everyone is drinking and the kids are there. Yet she has the nerve to call my son a deadbeat dad!! He signed the papers at the hospital when Adam was born so he is the legal father and they just cant kick him out of his life for good. Please help

 

[mommyof4]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? tx

I am asking these things on behalf of my son. I have a 6 yr old grandson. The mom refuses to let my son see him. She says that he is in her mind unfit and wants him to darn near jump through hoops. She has told him he has to have a job for 3 months, take a drug test that she will provide but will not tell him when she is coming but would rather surprise him, and wants him to go to drug counseling. My son is 33 yrs old and has had a tough life, he is currently living with me. He has made many mistakes but is a good man inside. He would never hurt his son. She hasnt allowed him to see him since the boy was 9 months old. Recently she called him, she said all she usually does about how she wants him involved but he has to prove he is responsible. She then said she was thinking of putting him on child support which she knows he cant pay as he in unemployed. She is married and her husband is into computers or something and makes pretty good money, why she has to try and get my son in trouble is beyond me. i understand he is the dad and has responsibilities but she wont even let him see his son and is now threatening support. We heard from a friend of a friend that they are thinking of filing a petition for adoption. I am just furious, her husband is not my grandbabys dad and never will be. I appreciate all he has done for him and think him a good man for it but this is crossing the line. I have told my son what I heard and he is just sickened and had been drinking a lot more than usual, if they won he would be broken. What can my son do to win against them? He will have all of my support I will pay for his attorney if I have to but I am on disability and SSi and just barley make it myself. She isnt the perfect mom either, she has used drugs before mostly weed, they have partys at their house where everyone is drinking and the kids are there. Yet she has the nerve to call my son a deadbeat dad!! He signed the papers at the hospital when Adam was born so he is the legal father and they just cant kick him out of his life for good. Please help

You have got to be kidding. Your grown son can't bestir himself from his drunken stupor to do what he has to do to be any semblance of a father to this child, yet you think MOM is in the wrong?


From your post, I can tell why your son is the type of 'parent' he is.

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? tx

I am asking these things on behalf of my son. I have a 6 yr old grandson. The mom refuses to let my son see him. She says that he is in her mind unfit and wants him to darn near jump through hoops. She has told him he has to have a job for 3 months, take a drug test that she will provide but will not tell him when she is coming but would rather surprise him, and wants him to go to drug counseling. My son is 33 yrs old and has had a tough life, he is currently living with me. He has made many mistakes but is a good man inside. He would never hurt his son. She hasnt allowed him to see him since the boy was 9 months old. Recently she called him, she said all she usually does about how she wants him involved but he has to prove he is responsible. She then said she was thinking of putting him on child support which she knows he cant pay as he in unemployed. She is married and her husband is into computers or something and makes pretty good money, why she has to try and get my son in trouble is beyond me. i understand he is the dad and has responsibilities but she wont even let him see his son and is now threatening support. We heard from a friend of a friend that they are thinking of filing a petition for adoption. I am just furious, her husband is not my grandbabys dad and never will be. I appreciate all he has done for him and think him a good man for it but this is crossing the line. I have told my son what I heard and he is just sickened and had been drinking a lot more than usual, if they won he would be broken. What can my son do to win against them? He will have all of my support I will pay for his attorney if I have to but I am on disability and SSi and just barley make it myself. She isnt the perfect mom either, she has used drugs before mostly weed, they have partys at their house where everyone is drinking and the kids are there. Yet she has the nerve to call my son a deadbeat dad!! He signed the papers at the hospital when Adam was born so he is the legal father and they just cant kick him out of his life for good. Please help

Children have the RIGHT to be supported by BOTH parents. Does your son have court ordered visitation? I hear there is no child support order.

Have your son sign up for help.

 

[nextwife]

Mom: stop enabling your loser son. Boot his backside off the couch, and stop supporting him. At 33, he should be able to support himself AND any children he's creating. I hope that he, since he is home during the day, is cooking, cleaning, doing the laundry, etc and not allowing you to do that stuff.

Heck, my 12 year old seems to have more financial initiative (she, at least is earning SOMETHING babysitting on occassion) than your adult son. Surely sonny can, at minimum, help support his kid, even if he needs two or so part time jobs to so so..

 

[Zephyr]

He hasn't seen his son in over 5 years?

 

[cappadocia]

I think Granny's best bet at ever having a relationship with the child she believes to be her grandson is by fostering rapport with Mom directly, because (would-be) Dad doesn't appear to be terribly motivated to behave as a responsible, productive adult. She seems to be the only interested party on the (possibly) paternal side of the family.

 

[MichaCA]

First step, support your son in dealing with his alcoholism. He needs to be going to AA meetings regularly, like every day. THAT would be dealing with the problem.

Of course, you can't do that for him. He has to step up to the plate himself, and deal with his issues so that he CAN be a supportive father.

 

[stealth2]

Unless there is an order for visitation, she is under no obligation to allow him time with the child. Frankly, until your son gets his life under control, he's unlikely to get anything except a few hours a week - supervised.

And if he can't be bothered to do that? Then maybe the kindest thing to do FOR THE CHILD would be to allow the man who HAS stepped up to the plate to legally become the father. Then your son doesn't have to do squat.

 

[Antigone*]

Unless there is an order for visitation, she is under no obligation to allow him time with the child. Frankly, until your son gets his life under control, he's unlikely to get anything except a few hours a week - supervised.

And if he can't be bothered to do that? Then maybe the kindest thing to do FOR THE CHILD would be to allow the man who HAS stepped up to the plate to legally become the father. Then your son doesn't have to do squat.

I couldn't agree more with stealth.

Mom this is oh so sad and you've supported it. This irresponsible person you call your son needs to grow up and be a man. Until you push him out of your nest he won't.

 

[Ohiogal]

Is your son even the father legally? Has he EVER established paternity? If he signed the affidavit and has NOT paid child support or seen his child in five years or more, new hubby will EASILY be able to adopt due to the fact that YOUR SON has ABANDONED HIS CHILD.

 

[mollymatters]

Whoa, please do not insult my son. I know he has made many mistakes but what sort of mother would I be if I kicked him out on the streets. He is a good man, just beat down by lifes heavy blows. He has tried to find work but since he did waste his younger years he dont look to be a good possible employee on paper. How could they easily win against him, he is the father, natural father, birth father, without him Adam wouldnt exist. She hasnt made it easy on him. She left and less than a year later was married to her husband. They went sailing off into the sunset and every chance she got she rubbed that in his face, however subtly. When and if they do go to court how much of my sons past can be used against him? He has had a few run ins with the law but minor things really. Been on probation and did fail a few drug tests for weed. He once was taken to jail for buying beer for his underage cousin, my mind fails me but i cant remember what happened after that, i know i did bail him out of jail. Is that public record, could an attorney get it and use it. My son dont need AA he drinks a few beers twice three times a week, he is no alcoholic. He does smoke a little pot from time to time but will be quitting soon I suspect. I want to help him be a dad but first i have got to be knowledgeable about what he is up against. I love my son, grown up or not. He is my only son and I must stand up for him, help him to stand up for himself. This is HIS SON. I just need to know how to help him beat this adoption thing so he can start to do right by his baby boy. There are no court orders for anything at all. Some people are willing to put in writing that she has used pot in the last couple years herself, would that help my son. He would be on here himself but asked that I find out for him as he is tore up over this, and really he is. He knows what he done wrong but i think it is just dawning on him how much time has passed and the consequence to his actions, all help is appreciated.

 

[Zephyr]

He has not seen his son in 5 years???? Or provided any type of verifiable support in 5 years?

 

[Proserpina]

Whoa, please do not insult my son. I know he has made many mistakes but what sort of mother would I be if I kicked him out on the streets. He is a good man, just beat down by lifes heavy blows.

Mom, you are completely enabling him. This paragraph alone is classic proof of that. Do you think none of us have had to deal with heavy blows? Of course we do. But we pull up our Big Girl/Boy Pants and be an adult and deal.

He has tried to find work but since he did waste his younger years he dont look to be a good possible employee on paper. How could they easily win against him, he is the father, natural father, birth father, without him Adam wouldnt exist. She hasnt made it easy on him. She left and less than a year later was married to her husband. They went sailing off into the sunset and every chance she got she rubbed that in his face, however subtly. When and if they do go to court how much of my sons past can be used against him? He has had a few run ins with the law but minor things really. Been on probation and did fail a few drug tests for weed. He once was taken to jail for buying beer for his underage cousin, my mind fails me but i cant remember what happened after that, i know i did bail him out of jail. Is that public record, could an attorney get it and use it. My son dont need AA he drinks a few beers twice three times a week, he is no alcoholic. He does smoke a little pot from time to time but will be quitting soon I suspect. I want to help him be a dad but first i have got to be knowledgeable about what he is up against. I love my son, grown up or not. He is my only son and I must stand up for him, help him to stand up for himself. This is HIS SON. I just need to know how to help him beat this adoption thing so he can start to do right by his baby boy. There are no court orders for anything at all. Some people are willing to put in writing that she has used pot in the last couple years herself, would that help my son. He would be on here himself but asked that I find out for him as he is tore up over this, and really he is. He knows what he done wrong but i think it is just dawning on him how much time has passed and the consequence to his actions, all help is appreciated.

Seriously - you are rationalizing and justifying this to the Nth degree.

You are NOT helping your son by doing this. You are actually causing more damage and it honestly needs to stop.

He will NEVER learn if you keep doing this. You need to stop, and you need to let him stand on his own two feet.

Because frankly, you're allowing him to be a baby. Babies cannot take care of other babies.

 

[cappadocia]

Time to take away the teat, Mom.

You should put your selfishness aside and be grateful that your (possible, though not confirmed) grandchild is cared for, in spite of your son's misgivings.

 

[Zephyr]

Texas Family Code - Section 161.001. Involuntary Termination Of Parent-Child Relationship - Texas Attorney Resources - Texas Laws