What Should I Do???

[pissedoffmom]

Tennessee,
I am the CP of a 6yr old girl and 4yr old boy. My ex has accused about every male I know of molesting my children since he can't find any loop holes to find me unfit. He hardly ever sees our children and only pays child support once threatened with jail time. There is one man that my ex has worked for since he was 13 (he is now 28) that my daughter sees as a grand father. She visits him just as she would if he were her grand dad. My ex has since stopped working for this man and sees this as a threat because since he did not take time to spend with her this man does. My ex seems to think that I send her to his home to get rid of my kids.
Personally I think that a child can never have enough people love them and care for them. I have had both our children checked out by a doctor because of his MANY accusations of child molestation and they are fine. Yes I do have documentation to prove this! I talk to both of my children to let them know that NO ONE should touch them in ANY way that makes them feel uncomfortable and IF this were to EVER happen then they should not be afraid to tell someone. My ex wont listen to reasoning and has supposedly taken out a RO against this man. CAN HE DO THAT?
I am also having problems with my ex going around town telling people that I allow people to molest our kids. He has even went as far as to take a picture of my son when he had a diaper rash (when he was younger) and show that to people saying that the reason why my son was broke out was because I let my bf at the time molest him. WHAT CAN I DO?!?!?!?!? For all those who may look at this thread in a bad way.... I have taken the proper steps to ASSURE that neither of my children have been sexually abused. I even had to take my daughter to counseling because of his allegations and everything was unfounded. I just think enough is enough and I am tired of him saying stuff like that about our children to hurt me. He wont take into account that he is hurting our kids because of what he says is being done to them!

 

[casa]

Tennessee,
I am the CP of a 6yr old girl and 4yr old boy. My ex has accused about every male I know of molesting my children since he can't find any loop holes to find me unfit. He hardly ever sees our children and only pays child support once threatened with jail time. There is one man that my ex has worked for since he was 13 (he is now 28) that my daughter sees as a grand father. She visits him just as she would if he were her grand dad. My ex has since stopped working for this man and sees this as a threat because since he did not take time to spend with her this man does. My ex seems to think that I send her to his home to get rid of my kids.
Personally I think that a child can never have enough people love them and care for them. I have had both our children checked out by a doctor because of his MANY accusations of child molestation and they are fine. Yes I do have documentation to prove this! I talk to both of my children to let them know that NO ONE should touch them in ANY way that makes them feel uncomfortable and IF this were to EVER happen then they should not be afraid to tell someone. My ex wont listen to reasoning and has supposedly taken out a RO against this man. CAN HE DO THAT?
I am also having problems with my ex going around town telling people that I allow people to molest our kids. He has even went as far as to take a picture of my son when he had a diaper rash (when he was younger) and show that to people saying that the reason why my son was broke out was because I let my bf at the time molest him. WHAT CAN I DO?!?!?!?!? For all those who may look at this thread in a bad way.... I have taken the proper steps to ASSURE that neither of my children have been sexually abused. I even had to take my daughter to counseling because of his allegations and everything was unfounded. I just think enough is enough and I am tired of him saying stuff like that about our children to hurt me. He wont take into account that he is hurting our kids because of what he says is being done to them!

Several things you can do to stop this from snowballing further:

*Respond to the RO in writing. File all documents related to previous accusations which were proven false. This can demonstrate to the judge that your X has a history of this behavior. Address (again in written response form) your concern over your child being continually subjected to these allegations and the examinations, therapy etc. which result from them. Include the fact that this causes you ongoing emotional stress.
*Appear at the hearing along with the man in question to address the allegation.
*Follow the RO whether you agree or not until you get your day in court.
*Limit the time you allow your children around anyone who is not a family member or longstanding friend of the family.
*Take your child back to a therapist &/or Dr. so you have a professional's documentation/opinion that nothing untoward has happened to your child.
*Advise the family friend in question to pursue a civil case for defamation of character. (Maybe if your X is ordered to pay damages, he'll stop spreading the lies)

Things to look at in the longrun: Do you think you allow your children to spend a disportionate amount of time away from you?

 

[pissedoffmom]

Thanks for the feedback Casa. From allegations before of the same person from my X is when my daughter went through counselling and case workers talked to her to make sure nothing had happened. I had also taken her to the DR just to prove to my X and just to be on the safe side of things because when it comes to people you just can't ever tell. They found the case to be UNFOUNDED. Since I have moved from my home town her visitation with him is limited to MAYBE one weekend out of a month or 2 months, If that. I have our children for months at a time even though he is scheduled visitations but he never shows to get them.
Thanks Again.