southernandi
Junior Member
What is the name of your state? OK
I posted before regarding custody modification.
I told my husband I wanted a divorce and had an affair approximately a few weeks later. He hired private investigators to follow and record all actions and phone conversations. We filed and I moved about a month after telling him I wanted the divorce. We file July 22nd. I moved the 1st of July. When we started the filing process we agreed on everything and we agreed that we would split the cost of the lawyer because he was drawing up the papers. They said they couldn't represent both so they represented my ex. We had agreed on 50/50 everything. Throughout the divorce he grew angrier and more spiteful. Upon my moving out my marriage was in my mind over. We started the 50/50 custody, 2 days on 2 days off and alternating weekends with the children. I continued to see people but I've never had anyone around my children. I do go out and drink when I don't have my kids but I don't do drugs or bring men to my home while my children are there. So. The divorce was final August 15th. I was never served with papers, and the day they went to court (I was instructed to waive my appearance - by my husband because he said that the lawyer and he agreed that would be easier) the lawyer brought papers into my office about 45 minutes before their scheduled time. He had me sign some papers and then gave me a copy of something else - not what I signed. He was in a big hurry and was rushing me also. I looked at the papers my ex gave me a week after the divorce and realized they said he has SOLE CUSTODY. This is not the agreement we came to. He got angry at me a couple of weeks ago because he said a 'friend' of mine called him a month ago and threatened him. He took no legal action at the time. I had no knowledge of the call or who did it. He had his 'investigators' look into it and turns out it was a guy I was seeing for a short while. My ex said he called and told him to leave me alone, didn't leave a name, just said to back off, said he used the kids names. Didn't give me any other details. I haven't spoken with the guy since 2-3 weeks. He hasn't contacted me either (I guess he realized I didn't want the 'help). My ex called me on a night I had the boys and I had a babysitter we've used for over 2 years. He said I better get home and get my priorities straight and that he had some surprises for me. A week later we meet and he says he has a much better lawyer and he wants me to have standard visitation and he isn't going to pay me a cent. He says if I don't give it to him now he will get it when they start school ( they are 2 and 4) and he will make me pay and I won't even be able to cover my bills. He said he didn't even care if I was penniless. He is still having people follow me and God knows what else. He said he has every right to where his kids are concerned. I told him I would get a vpo against him or his 'investigators' and he said he would get his lawyer involved. I am scared to sleep at night because I think they're snooping outside the house. When I come home I'm afraid I'm going to catch someone in the house and they'll hurt me. I don't know what to do. He says I have a pattern of lifestyle. I stayed home with my kids for 3 years after graduating college. Our entire five years of marriage was unhappy. He told me he was going to wait for me to screw up and then get me good. I spoke with a lawyer friend - I'm broke after paying half of his lawyer fees, and our car payment and credit card payment for the last three months. The lawyer said I could file a motion to vacate and we would do this fair. Where do I stand on custody? He can't take them away because I have sex with someone can he? I am basically a prisoner and he has all the support of his family and friends. All of my family is 800 miles away in TN. He knows I have nothing to fight him with. I know this is long but I am a single mother who has loved her children very much. I've made my mistakes but I've paid for them ten fold. I'm the one who goes to church and I'm the one who plays ball and takes them to the park. Over the five year marriage we don't have a single family portrait except for one we took when my four year old was 2 months old. He made $6000 last year alone in overtime. I told him I was the one who did everything for the first 3 years and he said he would change that now. He was a great provider, but he is not the best father and he is extremely manipulative and deceiptul. I know I've been dumb, but what he is doing is inconscienable.
I posted before regarding custody modification.
I told my husband I wanted a divorce and had an affair approximately a few weeks later. He hired private investigators to follow and record all actions and phone conversations. We filed and I moved about a month after telling him I wanted the divorce. We file July 22nd. I moved the 1st of July. When we started the filing process we agreed on everything and we agreed that we would split the cost of the lawyer because he was drawing up the papers. They said they couldn't represent both so they represented my ex. We had agreed on 50/50 everything. Throughout the divorce he grew angrier and more spiteful. Upon my moving out my marriage was in my mind over. We started the 50/50 custody, 2 days on 2 days off and alternating weekends with the children. I continued to see people but I've never had anyone around my children. I do go out and drink when I don't have my kids but I don't do drugs or bring men to my home while my children are there. So. The divorce was final August 15th. I was never served with papers, and the day they went to court (I was instructed to waive my appearance - by my husband because he said that the lawyer and he agreed that would be easier) the lawyer brought papers into my office about 45 minutes before their scheduled time. He had me sign some papers and then gave me a copy of something else - not what I signed. He was in a big hurry and was rushing me also. I looked at the papers my ex gave me a week after the divorce and realized they said he has SOLE CUSTODY. This is not the agreement we came to. He got angry at me a couple of weeks ago because he said a 'friend' of mine called him a month ago and threatened him. He took no legal action at the time. I had no knowledge of the call or who did it. He had his 'investigators' look into it and turns out it was a guy I was seeing for a short while. My ex said he called and told him to leave me alone, didn't leave a name, just said to back off, said he used the kids names. Didn't give me any other details. I haven't spoken with the guy since 2-3 weeks. He hasn't contacted me either (I guess he realized I didn't want the 'help). My ex called me on a night I had the boys and I had a babysitter we've used for over 2 years. He said I better get home and get my priorities straight and that he had some surprises for me. A week later we meet and he says he has a much better lawyer and he wants me to have standard visitation and he isn't going to pay me a cent. He says if I don't give it to him now he will get it when they start school ( they are 2 and 4) and he will make me pay and I won't even be able to cover my bills. He said he didn't even care if I was penniless. He is still having people follow me and God knows what else. He said he has every right to where his kids are concerned. I told him I would get a vpo against him or his 'investigators' and he said he would get his lawyer involved. I am scared to sleep at night because I think they're snooping outside the house. When I come home I'm afraid I'm going to catch someone in the house and they'll hurt me. I don't know what to do. He says I have a pattern of lifestyle. I stayed home with my kids for 3 years after graduating college. Our entire five years of marriage was unhappy. He told me he was going to wait for me to screw up and then get me good. I spoke with a lawyer friend - I'm broke after paying half of his lawyer fees, and our car payment and credit card payment for the last three months. The lawyer said I could file a motion to vacate and we would do this fair. Where do I stand on custody? He can't take them away because I have sex with someone can he? I am basically a prisoner and he has all the support of his family and friends. All of my family is 800 miles away in TN. He knows I have nothing to fight him with. I know this is long but I am a single mother who has loved her children very much. I've made my mistakes but I've paid for them ten fold. I'm the one who goes to church and I'm the one who plays ball and takes them to the park. Over the five year marriage we don't have a single family portrait except for one we took when my four year old was 2 months old. He made $6000 last year alone in overtime. I told him I was the one who did everything for the first 3 years and he said he would change that now. He was a great provider, but he is not the best father and he is extremely manipulative and deceiptul. I know I've been dumb, but what he is doing is inconscienable.
