Wife didn't want child support in final decree, now is asking for it

[SuperCat]

What is the name of your state? South Carolina
I recently married a wonderful man that has two children by a previous marriage. His divorce was final in June, 2004. In the final decree, the children were split between him and his ex. He received custody of the son (17) and the ex-wife received custody of the daughter (13). There was no spousal support awarded on either side. There was no child support awarded on either side either.
The ex-wife received the family home (and the existing mortgage which she has yet to get out of my husband's name) and all personal possessions contained in the home as well as keeping a family trust fund of approximately $500,000.
My husband walked away with his son and his clothes. We have had a lot of trouble with the boy (he had dropped out of school at 15--the situation with this boy was a big contributor to the divorce) and we ended up having to put him in a "reform/military" type of school to get him straightened out (i.e., off drugs, alcohol, etc.) We have been out approximately $60,000 in the past year for professional help to straighten this kid out. The ex-wife never offered (nor did we ask) to contribute a dime even though this is joint custody.
The son turned 18 this month and of course immediately took off and went back over to his mother's where he can do what he pleases. The boy is refusing to go back to school (he never got beyond the 10th grade education-wise) or get his GED. He has also refused to get a job of any sort, even part-time. He is now 18 and is taking the "now I can do what I please" thing to the extreme. Our family therapist tell use that the ex-wife is his "enabler" and encourages this behavior because it allows her to lash out at her ex-husband thru the boy.
We get a letter today from the ex's attorney that since the boy has turned 18 now and is not going back to school, etc. my husband's legal obligation to him is essential over ---- so now the wife wants support for the girl who is now 14! I know that she is mad as hell because this 18-year-old ne'er do well kid has come back over and plopped down in the middle of her household, but that is her fault -- she could tell him no.
The ex-wife has proceeded to squander the entire trust fund over the course of the past year (over a half-million dollars!), she has gotten down to the point where she has also taken two mortgages out on the family home that was also awarded to her in the final decree and now, in the course of a year, OWES about $500,000 to various banks.
TWO QUESTIONS:
1. Can she now, a year after the final divorce decree, go back and ask for child support for the now 14-year-old girl?
2. If we do have to engage in a child support "battle", should we just go ahead and turn it into a "custody" battle for the little girl? The mother is obviously not responsible and even if we paid her child support, who knows what it would go to. Also, I worry about my step-daughter. She is a pretty little girl who is really smart. She used to make straight A's and in the last year she has started pulling down some B's and C's. She is really mouthy (as most teenagers will be) but she has really started to withdraw from her friends, etc. and has essentially started to isolate herself -- she is riddled with self-doubt and lacks self-esteem. Her mother and brother give her a 24/7 belly-ful of how horrible her dad is and the ex-wife never fails to try and upset any plans my husband makes to see the child, etc. I think we may be better off to just go for custody of this girl at this point?

 

[haiku]

1. child supppor agreements are never a permenant part of an order, they are alwys reworkable at any time there is a change in circumstance.

2. custody on the other hand is usally set in stone. Nothing you have posted seems to point towards a a change in custody, and most judges will likely see it for what it is, a bid by dad to avoid paying support.

The divorce has only been final for a year, and he is already married to you.

Fourteen is a rough time for children of intact families, so think of how hard it must be to be in the middle of a divorce. A drop in grades would seem a normal reaction to me to that upheaval.The child may benefit from counseling. If mom is messing with dads visitation time, dad would be better served taking her to court for contempt of visitation.

Also do remember in the legal scheme of things you have no say here, and you should really lay low when it comes to things involving your husbands ex. Its between your husband, his ex, and THIER kids.

 

[StepMomInGA]

I'm not sure about your state, but I know in GA, you can only modify support every 2 years. If you go through our WONDERFUL CSE office, it's every 3 years. Also, a major change has to be proven. Call a family lawyer in the county the divorce took place, you may have to call a couple, but you'll find one that will answer your questions for you. I'm the step-mom and they talked to me with no problem.

 

[LdiJ]

May I also point out that even if the older child was the picture of perfection...enrolled in college and going on to make a major mark in life....that child would still no longer be included (in most cases) in a child support calculation...therefore mom would be entitled to child support for the younger child.

If it had been reversed, and dad had originally had custody of the younger child and mom the older...then mom would be liable to child support to dad.

The original orders were based on each having primary custody of a minor child...that is no longer the case...AND any attempt to obtain custody of the remaining minor would look like a ploy to avoid child support....unless mom could be proven legally unfit.