What is the name of your state? Michigan I have been on here before asking questions about my then 16 year old moving to his father's in Indiana. Well he went and we went through the court in Michigan to change the physical custody with Joint Legal and child support. My son is now 17 and a senior in High School. He has now realized that the grass is not greener on the other side. His father and him are having alot of trouble. This all started three months ago once dad got his papers from the court. I know I will probably get a lot of neg. feedback from this but his dad promised him the world if he would come live with him, they have never been close and dad has always put girlfriends, wifes, step kids first. He has always used, lied, belittled people and in the process of breaking my son down mentally. He calls him names, yells all of the time. I have tried to talk to him about it and he yells at me too. He is on disability and knew the income the summer he worked on my son to come down there. He gets between the SS and CS $1250 a month alone. Since he has gotten his papers he has made a miraculous recovery and is on the run at the bars, casino's etc.. 6 nights out of 7. He was divorced from his latest wife 4 years ago. She is in drugs really bad, lost custody of her own kids, jail and court record a mile long. Our son has been through alot of abuse from her and him when they were married, witnessed alot of drug use etc. Dad has now started having her come and stay at there house. She is there now for the second visit and stays a week or two at a time. My son has found a bag of pot already and a stolen bottle of prescription pills. His dad is talking that she wants to start over and move back in after she gets done doing her latest jail time and community service. My son has told him he doesnt feel comfortable with her there but he doesn't care, he will have to learn to live with it. He wants to move back to Michigan at the end of sememster - December. We both know what dad will do, call the police, report his as a run away, report son's car stolen, etc. He doesn't want to lose his meal ticket. Any advice on how to keep my son or me from going to jail over this and get him back to Michigan?
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X wife/drug user moving back in
- Thread starter zeuss
- Start date
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LdiJ
Senior Member
You made a mistake by not fighting this the first time around. At this point your son is probably going to have to live with things until he turns 18.
There was nothing to fight in the first place. I have had custody of our son from the time he was born up until he was 16 1/2. That is when he decided to go and try living with super dad. Dad was married to this woman for 3 years with our son having to go back and forth for visitation first in Mich then they moved to Kentucky and now are in Indiana. They got divorced 4 years ago and she had been out of the picture so we thought. At the time they were married I did take him back to court about the crap that was going on then and the court in Mich took away alot of his visitation but that was it. If she moves back in next month I could take him back to court to get our son back up here to be able to at least graduate, which I am afraid he might not at this point. But he turns 18 in May and it will probably take that long. He is 17 now and his dad can legally make him stay can't he?
If the son is finding drugs and stolen prescription pills now, what's stopping him from calling the police? If he did that, it COULD work towards an emergency exparte to get custody. Key word is 'could.' Honestly, the kid turns 18 in May and is graduating shortly thereafter. The court wouldn't (most likely) be able to schedule this for a hearing until after the first of the year. Now you're looking at a few months. The kid was granted his wish to live with dad and he's finding out what it's like. "Tough crap" I say.
Some States Law Enforcement won't make a 17 yr. old return home if they leave , however , if He came and lived with YOU , it would go against Court Orders , and you could face legal problems .
Either He call the cops , and try to get an Emergency Order if dad is arrested , or let the 17 yr. old learn some hard life lessons .
You contributed to it all .
Kids that age are too old to play monkey in the middle . Well maybe .
Either He call the cops , and try to get an Emergency Order if dad is arrested , or let the 17 yr. old learn some hard life lessons .
You contributed to it all .
Kids that age are too old to play monkey in the middle . Well maybe .
I am in no way a legal expert, but if the kid reported the drugs in house and the police made an arrest, couldnt the mother file for emergency temporary custody until all the legal /court matters were complete. By that time the kid would be 18 and it wouldnt matter about the formal custody orders. Am I wrong on my logic here or is that correct thinking?
Ohiogal
Queen Bee
Have you read any of the other posts with what people are saying?
LdiJ
Senior Member
If the boy is turning 18 in May...then in my opinion there isn't much point in trying to do anything now.
There is virtually no chance of getting anything decided before the end of this semester....and therefore its better off that he finish the second semester there. Once he turns 18 it will be his choice where he lives.
There is virtually no chance of getting anything decided before the end of this semester....and therefore its better off that he finish the second semester there. Once he turns 18 it will be his choice where he lives.
Thank you for all of your advice. I agree with all of you that is what is so confusing. I am Mom and it's my instinct to protect my young. We've been doing it for years so of course it is killing me to be 6 hours away from him and knowing what he is going through. He is a ball of nerves 90% of the time being there in the house and when he isn't at the house trying to do things with his friends he is a nervous wreck wondering if his dad is going to call to yell at him or what it will be like when he gets back home. His dad turns everything around on him and does the whole verbal bad mouthing and calls our son names etc. Dad told him yesterday that he would just have to learn to live with the x-wife when she comes back in a month because he was basically picking her over his son who he only has for another 8 months of his life. He is the same one that when he had his son for only 4 days a month spent them going out with women and paying a babysitter. I cherish every moment that I get to spend with my kids because one day before we know it, as fast as a blink of our eyes they are grown and gone. I just have a hard time with the fact that all parents are not like that. I know wake up!! So I still don't know what to do if my son calls me wanting help and needs to get out of there for his own safety.
Quite frankly I do not seeing anything in your posts indicating an imminent threat to your son's safety. You won't get to court in time and even if you did the judge would have a problem bouncing this kid around when you voluntarily gave up custody. You would do better to encourage your son to be patient and work through his angst until he is 18.
I did have a long talk with my son today. I discussed how hard ti would be for him to move back to Michigan. His dad won't let him just move without a fight. I did give up physical custody because I thought it was the right thing to do. My son wanted to go and live with his dad to get to know him since for once in his 16 years he actually spent the summer with my son. Paying attention to him so of course my son thought he had changed for the better. Which it did go good for the first 8 months but as soon as he got his court order that he had the physical custody it all changed. This is when the X started showing up and staying off and on. She is suppose to return tomorrow night after she does her weekend jail time. Dad and son talked yesterday about her coming back and dad told him then that he understood his anquish with her and that he wouldn't let her stay there but when he left for college she was moving back in for good. Which is his own business then. They talked about all of the things that she had done to our son and his half brothers etc.. He also admited that he knew she had drugs on her and told her he wasn't happy about it. Today however when dad talked to him he told him that she was returning tomorrow night and staying for another week. My son said that he would just stay in his room with the door shut while they were home since he can't stand even being around her because of the history. I discussed with him about the drug situation and if he felt that something was getting out of hand that he could always call the police. They come in during the week at 2 or 3am yelling in my sons room to wake up and party with them, etc. He is getting really tired of having to get up for school after no sleep too. It is just alot of things that are too hard to explain. It isn't a safety issue right now, just alot of mental crap going on that he is really sick of. He thought that it was over when they got divorced and that is why he actually wanted to be around his dad again but he is now reliving it all.