Can arrears exist prior to a child support order existing?

[fairisfair]

No one said that you are interfering. All we've asked is what is your point. You keep stating what "we" do for your husband's child. You haven't stated that "My husband thinks...". You haven't given the impression that you are asking questions FOR him. I've said all along that if he is SSSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOO concerned, then he should take her to court. However, what will that accomplish?

It takes more than money to raise a child. Someone has to get them dressed, cook the food, get them to/from school and activities, help them with homework, etc. If your DH was so concerned, then why didn't he ask for more custody/visitation at the same time that he left the house? He apparently didn't have a problem then.

I did, I said quite clearly, several times, she is interfering. Oh, I think I said it again.

Sitting in on the child support hearing. Discussing the portion of arrears. interfering interfering interfering.

 

[stepmom&mom]

Really, then why aren't they all over YOUR NCP??? That's the same question I asked. My only guess is that it's easier to threaten dad's who can be found and who are paying than to take the time and effort to find the ones who are running.
I am a single parent, I raised two children by myself. I received the first child support ever, on the SECOND child in August of this year, she is almost 17 years old. So don't even compare me to one of those welfare moms. Yes, people abuse the system, so what is your point? If you are aware of and can prove welfare fraud, then you are just as guilty for not reporting it.

Basically, the main problem here, is you don't want "your" money, as in your husband's money, going to another household. Well guess what, the court, has already told you tough crap, in so many words, and now you are hearing it again. That just simply isn't true. He pays his child support and I know he has to. You are making an assumption about me with no basis. Do we want to have an eternal debt that never goes away (referring to the child support arrears)? Of course not, who does? I will say that I think that charging interest on it is wrong, but that is my opinion.
You don't get to determine how other people spend their money, or how they raise their children, or whether or not they qualify for gov't benefits. Boy you really think you are quite important, don't you?

But that is the key. The NCP doesn't get to determine how the money is spent, but the CP does. It is a double standard. CSED's and courts watch vigilantly for any change in NCP's incomes so that child support can be adjusted accordingly.

To sum it up, our child support system is broken, biased and ineffective. It bludgeons those who are attempting to do the right thing and awards those who abuse it and who choose to run.

 

[Zephyr]

But that is the key. The NCP doesn't get to determine how the money is spent, but the CP does. It is a double standard. CSED's and courts watch vigilantly for any change in NCP's incomes so that child support can be adjusted accordingly.

To sum it up, our child support system is broken, biased and ineffective. It bludgeons those who are attempting to do the right thing and awards those who abuse it and who choose to run.

yep- we all already knew that- but that's the system we have.....

 

[stepmom&mom]

I did, I said quite clearly, several times, she is interfering. Oh, I think I said it again.

Sitting in on the child support hearing. Discussing the portion of arrears. interfering interfering interfering.

Since when did listening to a hearing become interferring? Are you telling me that all of those people that watch court TV are interferring?

BTW, it wasn't a hearing. He just met with his caseworker and I was there. There was no judge involved.

Also, why do you think that discussing arrears with my dh is wrong? I think it is odd that you don't think that married people talk about what is going on in their lives, especially the things that affect the entire household.

 

[fairisfair]

But that is the key. The NCP doesn't get to determine how the money is spent, but the CP does. It is a double standard. CSED's and courts watch vigilantly for any change in NCP's incomes so that child support can be adjusted accordingly.

To sum it up, our child support system is broken, biased and ineffective. It bludgeons those who are attempting to do the right thing and awards those who abuse it and who choose to run.

that is why they are the CP. Because it is their responsibility to make those day to day decisions regarding the child.

Oh, the world isn't FAIR???? what the heck???

 

[stepmom&mom]

No actually, when you said that you were in the meeting discussing arrears, that is when I knew that you were interfering. Of course your husband, oh, get that, let me make it bigger letters husband has the right to be concerned about how his child is being cared for. Nobody said that he didn't. You on the other hand, are a different story.

I just want to comment on this, because I have seen this occur several times here. Alot of times, people come to this board to discuss laws, share information and even sometimes to vent. Just because it is a stepparent typing on a message board, it doesn't mean that they are interferring. This is a message board. You don't have to treat people like idiots on here. We know not to interfere in court. We know that we are not the CP or NCP. Just because we do the typing to find out info online doesn't mean that it's really the stepparent who shows up to court asking for custody. Talk about common sense...

 

[moburkes]

This thread needs to end. You said that your husband voluntarily went in to get a child support order. He should have voluntarily gone end after he left the household. Had he done that, he wouldn't still owe that money today. I don't understand why him taking responsibility for taking care of his own child financially affects the household, when you are doing nothing to find your baby daddy. Finding him would bring necessary money into YOUR household. Also, don't forget that when those arrearages are paid, they are "repaying" mom for prior expenses. You certainly have no say in how she spends that reimbursement, and neither does dad. She could take a trip to the moon.

 

[fairisfair]

Since when did listening to a hearing become interferring? Are you telling me that all of those people that watch court TV are interferring?

BTW, it wasn't a hearing. He just met with his caseworker and I was there. There was no judge involved.

Also, why do you think that discussing arrears with my dh is wrong? I think it is odd that you don't think that married people talk about what is going on in their lives, especially the things that affect the entire household.

Yes, that is what I am telling you. that is exactly what was said. right?? After all you are on TV aren't you?? Or are you watching us on tv?? which is it?

You participating in the child support hearing would be interfering. And most likely you wouldn't have been allowed to be there. You seemed to try to make it sound like that is where you were, since you talked about winning and several other things. So you won something in a meeting with his caseworker? is that what you are trying to say now?? Nobody misunderstood your comments, you are just changing the story now that is all.

I don't think discussing things with your husand is wrong. I do think that interfering and trying to control the household where his child lives is.

 

[stepmom&mom]

that is why they are the CP. Because it is their responsibility to make those day to day decisions regarding the child.

Oh, the world isn't FAIR???? what the heck???

I think that that is a sad worldview. So you think that everytime there is an injustice in society that people shouldn't work for a change? You think that everyone should just accept their fate and realize that the world just isn't fair? I wonder what the people who worked so hard for civil rights would think of your attitude?

 

[fairisfair]

This thread needs to end. You said that your husband voluntarily went in to get a child support order. He should have voluntarily gone end after he left the household. Had he done that, he wouldn't still owe that money today. I don't understand why him taking responsibility for taking care of his own child financially affects the household, when you are doing nothing to find your baby daddy. Finding him would bring necessary money into YOUR household. Also, don't forget that when those arrearages are paid, they are "repaying" mom for prior expenses. You certainly have no say in how she spends that reimbursement, and neither does dad. She could take a trip to the moon.

Oh, I love the moon, that is where I am going with this months CS, to the moon! LOL Or maybe just to another thread, that sounds like more fun.

 

[moburkes]

The moon sounds wonderful right now!

OP: The civil rights people LOVE her. Now you know. Good night.

 

[stepmom&mom]

Yes, that is what I am telling you. that is exactly what was said. right?? After all you are on TV aren't you?? Or are you watching us on tv?? which is it?

You participating in the child support hearing would be interfering. And most likely you wouldn't have been allowed to be there. You seemed to try to make it sound like that is where you were, since you talked about winning and several other things. So you won something in a meeting with his caseworker? is that what you are trying to say now?? Nobody misunderstood your comments, you are just changing the story now that is all.

I don't think discussing things with your husand is wrong. I do think that interfering and trying to control the household where his child lives is.

Wow. You are pretty sarcastic aren't you? So I didn't get the terminology correct. It doesn't mean that I'm "changing my story." In the meeting with the caseworker, my dh pointed out that he lived with the mom until daughter was two. And yes, they said he wouldn't have to pay back to the child's birth because of that. So I guess I call that a win. What's so weird about that?

 

[ceara19]

Oh, I love the moon, that is where I am going with this months CS, to the moon! LOL Or maybe just to another thread, that sounds like more fun.

I don't think I could afford a trip to the end of my driveway with the total amount of child support my ex has paid! I can't remember the last time I saw a child support check. I remember how MUCH it was though. It was a whopping 14 CENTS!!! I still have the check AND I kept the envelope too! I thought it was hilarious that the state would spend the money to PRINT the check, much less spend 36 cents to MAIL it to me! That's your tax dollars at work.

 

[ceara19]

Wow. You are pretty sarcastic aren't you? So I didn't get the terminology correct. It doesn't mean that I'm "changing my story." In the meeting with the caseworker, my dh pointed out that he lived with the mom until daughter was two. And yes, they said he wouldn't have to pay back to the child's birth because of that. So I guess I call that a win. What's so weird about that?

The point is, you keep going on about WE this and US that. It has NOTHING at all, whatsoever, in any way, shape or form, to do with YOU! I don't see your husband here complaining about supporting you and your kids because your ex isn't paying child support. As a matter of fact, while it does occasionally happen, it's rare for a 2nd HUSBAND to come here and complain about the wife's FIRST husband. And when they do, they typically stick to how the situation is affecting the CHILD and the MOTHER, instead of going on and on about how THEY are getting screwed.

 

[stepmom&mom]

The point is, you keep going on about WE this and US that. It has NOTHING at all, whatsoever, in any way, shape or form, to do with YOU! I don't see your husband here complaining about supporting you and your kids because your ex isn't paying child support. As a matter of fact, while it does occasionally happen, it's rare for a 2nd HUSBAND to come here and complain about the wife's FIRST husband. And when they do, they typically stick to how the situation is affecting the CHILD and the MOTHER, instead of going on and on about how THEY are getting screwed.

Right, because I said that the fact that my stepdaughter's mother wouldn't buy her clothes that she needed screwed ME.

I think that there is too much focus on this board of the words "we" and "us" rather than the actual question being asked by many posters. People often use those terms when they are MARRIED. It is not a criminal act. It is normal.