Taking a child out of state or school

[luvmy5kids]

What is the name of your state? PA

I believe I added this question in my questions regarding child support on an earlier post...sure to be slammed on that. Sorry.

Anyway here's my question:

When a NCP wants to take a child out of state or country does he or she need to get consent from the CP? Is this the same for signing a child out of school to go away? I've been divorced for 9 years, and have been the CP all along. Lately NCP has been testing the waters by telling me he's taking our one child out of school to go out of state with he and his wife; and will be doing so again next month. He also informed me that he was going to the school to let them know. It's not that I even have a problem with our child going with him, it's his total disregard and disrespect for me. I've told him the child is not doing well enough in school to miss days for something that is irrevlevant to his life but he insists he's taking the child. So before I say anything further to him, I'd like to know where I stand on this. Thank you.

 

[Ohiogal]

Is it his court ordered time to have the child?

 

[nextwife]

UNless there is a specific prohibition against traveling outside a certain jurisdiction in the court order, the NCP is free to spend their visitation time with their child wherever they wish. Yes, you and they, in the absence of a limitation, can indeed travel out of state with their child for their possession period

 

[luvmy5kids]

Is it his court ordered time to have the child?

No it is not. He is taking the child out of school two days before his weekend visitation. He has to give me at least 4 weeks notice if he is taking them on a vacation. This isn't vacation, he is leaving our other children at home with me.

 

[luvmy5kids]

UNless there is a specific prohibition against traveling outside a certain jurisdiction in the court order, the NCP is free to spend their visitation time with their child wherever they wish. Yes, you and they, in the absence of a limitation, can indeed travel out of state with their child for their possession period

Ok, I understand the being "free to spend their visitation wherever" but what if, as in this case it's not his vistitation time?

 

[casa]

Ok, I understand the being "free to spend their visitation wherever" but what if, as in this case it's not his vistitation time?

No~ he is in contempt of the Court Order if he removes the child(ren) from school, without your consent during YOUR parenting time. HIS parenting time starts on the weekend, not during the school week.

 

[ceara19]

It's not that I even have a problem with our child going with him, it's his total disregard and disrespect for me.

I have to ask, when you take the children out of school or out of state, do you get HIS permission or notify him in any way?

 

[luvmy5kids]

I have to ask, when you take the children out of school or out of state, do you get HIS permission or notify him in any way?

Honestly, I try to make him aware of everything I do with our kids because if I don't he makes my life and theirs a living hell. When or if I DO take them out of school or the state it's always on my time and they are back for their time with him. My time is every day of the month except for every other weekend.

 

[Ohiogal]

Honestly, I try to make him aware of everything I do with our kids because if I don't he makes my life and theirs a living hell. When or if I DO take them out of school or the state it's always on my time and they are back for their time with him. My time is every day of the month except for every other weekend.

Do you notify him and get HIS permission when you remove the children from school? If it is not dad's time then dad does not get to take the child or he will be in contempt. However it could be considered vacation -- it doesn't matter if the other children aren't going -- and if he provided you with proper notice and your agreement does nto state that vacations cannot interfere with school then he has a right to take the child on vacation during the school year.

 

[nextwife]

If you get to take any of your children out of state and school for a special long weekend, what is the big deal if dad wants to do that too? Would it kill you to let your child have a special weekend with dad, just like they get to have with you? Good grief, sometimes our parents are only here for a portion of our childhood (mine died when I was a kid) and those special times together are all we get. Just because the parents aren't together doesn't mean our kids shouldn't get to have the same sorts of getaways that kids of married-to each-other parents can have.

 

[luvmy5kids]

Do you notify him and get HIS permission when you remove the children from school? If it is not dad's time then dad does not get to take the child or he will be in contempt. However it could be considered vacation -- it doesn't matter if the other children aren't going -- and if he provided you with proper notice and your agreement does nto state that vacations cannot interfere with school then he has a right to take the child on vacation during the school year.

I do notify him but do not get his "permission" as I am CP and I have them all but 4 days a month. NCP has always had open access to the children, and the children have spent years of calling him to be picked up early on his days so they can go to the pool, etc. Dad has not jumped at the chance of spending any extra time with the children and he lives about 7 blocks from me. Proper notice? He told me Friday that he was taking our child out of school the following Wednesday...5 days notice. He's taking our son to a 2 day sporting event which stay in a hotel with other people, partying and carrying on. Last time they went my son was almost caught in the middle of an adult fight as they drink like fish in between events. The other problem is, our son is barely making it through his grade. Mostly due to his over achievement in sports with does not leave much time to study. When I tell Dad we must cut down on time spent on sports, I'm told to get a life, he's just a kid, leave the kid do what he wants or he's just a boy. Last night I did tell Dad that the bullying of me is over, the childrens schooling comes first and from now on he is not to take a child out of school unless it's a planned vacation nor out of state as he is not allowed to do so unless I give consent. He took the kids the first year of our divorce and hid them at his mother's; I had get a court order and had them removed by the sheriff.

 

[acmb05]

I do notify him but do not get his "permission" as I am CP and I have them all but 4 days a month. NCP has always had open access to the children, and the children have spent years of calling him to be picked up early on his days so they can go to the pool, etc. Dad has not jumped at the chance of spending any extra time with the children and he lives about 7 blocks from me. Proper notice? He told me Friday that he was taking our child out of school the following Wednesday...5 days notice. He's taking our son to a 2 day sporting event which stay in a hotel with other people, partying and carrying on. Last time they went my son was almost caught in the middle of an adult fight as they drink like fish in between events. The other problem is, our son is barely making it through his grade. Mostly due to his over achievement in sports with does not leave much time to study. When I tell Dad we must cut down on time spent on sports, I'm told to get a life, he's just a kid, leave the kid do what he wants or he's just a boy. Last night I did tell Dad that the bullying of me is over, the childrens schooling comes first and from now on he is not to take a child out of school unless it's a planned vacation nor out of state as he is not allowed to do so unless I give consent. He took the kids the first year of our divorce and hid them at his mother's; I had get a court order and had them removed by the sheriff.

Take him out of the sports. Education is much more important. You said you are the CP so act like one and stop signing him up for sports when you know it is affecting his grades.

 

[luvmy5kids]

If you get to take any of your children out of state and school for a special long weekend, what is the big deal if dad wants to do that too? Would it kill you to let your child have a special weekend with dad, just like they get to have with you? Good grief, sometimes our parents are only here for a portion of our childhood (mine died when I was a kid) and those special times together are all we get. Just because the parents aren't together doesn't mean our kids shouldn't get to have the same sorts of getaways that kids of married-to each-other parents can have.

I too, missed out on so much time with my father and wish I could get it back.
I'm not here to bash him, he lives his life his way ... we are a casualty in his life. He only does what is in the original custody order. Yet I've left the door open for him to see the kids more, he never in 9 years takes them up on it, except for this one event and lives 7 blocks from me. That may be because he's had DUI's, our child found drugs in his home (which I should have had him nailed for but wanted to save my daughter who was suicidal because he blamed her for going in his drawer) and he's been arrested for being with prostitiutes while I was married to him.

Anyway....He's taking him to a 3 day sporting event which Dad's "friends a.k.a drunks" are going also. They all have kids so I'm sure he feels he needs to take one too. Our daughters NEVER have gotten to go and they are older and resentful. After the event our son gets to go back to a hotel where he watches all these people drink and carry on. Special times? I don't think so. I don't care how much time they spend with their Dad, but I don't want it to interfer with their education especially when one is struggling. Every year that they've gone the child came home with a none of his school work done, that he took along. For some reason this grade is hard for him, he's away a lot at practices so I've gotten the child help and I work with him daily but I can't keep fighting an unsupportive ex in an uphill battle. Bottom line, the man doesn't even take the children to see their Grandparents, Great Grandparent, his own sister, brother and cousins .... the kids complain and I make sure they see these people. He takes them to his friends parties where the kids get to witness drinking and carrying on. My only solice in this is that his wife doesn't drink so I know they aren't being driven around by him. He does pick our son up occassionally for the one sporting practice (on my weekend) where our son is trained by a big named hero. This I call, his "case of the see me's" he wants to be around for the glory but none of the work. So I'm sorry if I offended you I'm just trying to find a way to keep peace, keep my kids happy without sacraficing the important things in their lives...like school.

 

[luvmy5kids]

Take him out of the sports. Education is much more important. You said you are the CP so act like one and stop signing him up for sports when you know it is affecting his grades.

If I don't sign him up, my ex will and has. He tells our son and me, that taking him out of a sport should not be used as a punishment or alternative just because his grades aren't up. He tells me the child is "just a kid, let him be a kid" or that I should "stop trying to run everything, he'll be fine when he gets older". My problem is that when he "gets older" I don't want to have a son who can't get into college because he can't spell or do math! I think my only recourse is to take him back to court and let a Judge have a chat with him.

 

[acmb05]

I too, missed out on so much time with my father and wish I could get it back.
I'm not here to bash him, he lives his life his way ... we are a casualty in his life. He only does what is in the original custody order. Yet I've left the door open for him to see the kids more, he never in 9 years takes them up on it, except for this one event and lives 7 blocks from me. That may be because he's had DUI's, our child found drugs in his home (which I should have had him nailed for but wanted to save my daughter who was suicidal because he blamed her for going in his drawer) and he's been arrested for being with prostitiutes while I was married to him.

Why was your daughter going thru his things? I can relate a story to you where the same thing happened, turns out that "mom" was telling the child to do this.

I don't care how much time they spend with their Dad, but I don't want it to interfer with their education especially when one is struggling.

You are also to blame for this because you have allowed him to indulge in so many sports instead of focusing on school work.

For some reason this grade is hard for him, he's away a lot at practices so I've gotten the child help and I work with him daily but I can't keep fighting an unsupportive ex in an uphill battle.

Again, take him out of the sports. You yourself have stated that he only has them 4 days a month so it is not HIS fault if the child is failing. They are with you during the school times.

Bottom line, the man doesn't even take the children to see their Grandparents, Great Grandparent, his own sister, brother and cousins .... the kids complain and I make sure they see these people.

Which he does not have to do on his time. He only has them 4 days a month and you expect him to spend that time taking them to see other people.

I'm just trying to find a way to keep peace, keep my kids happy without sacraficing the important things in their lives...like school.

Then stop putting him in sports activities and make him study more. Big name hero or not if it is interferring in his school it needs to stop.