how do you keep a step-parent away?

[Ohiogal]

Since she has already gone to the police and they have determined that no crime was committed, is there a realistic possibility that a Judge would even issue a TRO?

Yes it is possible to get a civil protection order when no crime has been committed. There is a different standard required.

 

[fairisfair]

Unless the court order specifically says that stepmom is able to pick up the child, does this mom even have to release the child to anyone other than dad????? I sure wouldn't.

 

[brandiegiuffre]

She is not mentioned anywhere in the papers, and all the say is "the parties". I had thought that before that I didn't have to let my daughter go with her. However, the PD and the attorneys said that we both have a right to designate someone to handle the drop offs and pick ups as long as it is someone that the child is familiar with. I don't really see how that is but that's what they tell me.

 

[brandiegiuffre]

Just wanted to let everyone know that I just heard from my attorney, we are going to file for an emergancy restraining order against SM and ask for supervised visits with dad pending 90 days to get a report from the child psychologist. Then still have the settlement conference next friday and hope to get him to agree that SM not be around child and the FROR (which we currently don't have). My attorney seems to think that if his lawyer is smart, they'll agree to whatever we ask for right about now. Thank you all for your help. And of course, any other suggestions are always welcome!

I read most of the posts on here and always value your opinions! You all seem to have alot of knowledge, it is always nice to get opinions of what to do. My attorney is good, but timid. I feel like I get further if I tell her what I want done (which is where you guys come in!)
I will keep checking for any further advice on exactly what to ask for in the settlement conference. Thanks again.

 

[WAmom]

Brandie,
I feel for you, my son has a stepmom from hell, although I dont think she has ever laid a hand on him (if she ever did...watch out!). I was told by a judge that whatever the father wants to do with his time and who he spend it with, is up to him. My son has been in counceling because of both his father and stepmom.

I wish you luck with this...

 

[jbowman]

Brandie,
I feel for you, my son has a stepmom from hell, although I dont think she has ever laid a hand on him (if she ever did...watch out!). I was told by a judge that whatever the father wants to do with his time and who he spend it with, is up to him. My son has been in counceling because of both his father and stepmom.

I wish you luck with this...

This may be true that Mom cant dictate what dad does on his time but i think it may be a different story if there is physical abuse. I dont know but I dang sure hope so.

 

[MyHouse]

Holy cow - If an adult leaves bruises and other marks on another adult, they are arrested for assault. Treating a baby this way is even worse. It doesn't make sense that they didn't press charges because the skin wasn't broken.

Do you live in a small town in Arkansas? You know the buddy system is a big thing in some Arkansas small towns. (I live in Arkansas - NLR)

How does the father feel about all of this? Do you know? He SHOULD be very upset.

 

[jbowman]

Holy cow - If an adult leaves bruises and other marks on another adult, they are arrested for assault. Treating a baby this way is even worse. It doesn't make sense that they didn't press charges because the skin wasn't broken.

Do you live in a small town in Arkansas? You know the buddy system is a big thing in some Arkansas small towns. (I live in Arkansas - NLR)

How does the father feel about all of this? Do you know? He SHOULD be very upset.

You know, this is what I thought too. I mean, if some guy in the grocery store suddenly grabbed my child and starting hitting him with a belt, I am sure he would be arrested--even if my child's skin wasnt broken. Why is step mom any different? Is it because she is married to dad?

 

[devmazz]

She is not mentioned anywhere in the papers, and all the say is "the parties". I had thought that before that I didn't have to let my daughter go with her. However, the PD and the attorneys said that we both have a right to designate someone to handle the drop offs and pick ups as long as it is someone that the child is familiar with. I don't really see how that is but that's what they tell me.

I've been in a similar situation with the pick up & drop off.. My husband and his ex were using a family visitation center to exchange the children. Even though I was not listed in the paperwork, I was allowed to pick them up & drop them off and on one occasion the mom sent someone that the dad did not know to pick the kids up. He denied this woman the right to take his children and the visitation center called the mom on her cell phone. Mom said she was not going to be there and demanded that the children be released to this other woman. The dad called the police, and a report was filed but the police told him that he had to allow the children to go with this woman since the mom sent her. The officer did compel the sitter to give the dad her contact information and the dad was allowed to call the children to see that they arrived safely and that they were okay.

As for your ex not keeping you informed of where he lives, he could be in contempt of court for that. As the custodial parent you have the legal right to know where your child is at all times.

That poor baby. Be strong, Mama. You're doing the right thing for your daughter!

 

[Silverplum]

As for your ex not keeping you informed of where he lives, he could be in contempt of court for that. As the custodial parent you have the legal right to know where your child is at all times.

You've been making lots of firm statements on the boards today, but not providing cites. Please do so, for the state in which OP resides. That's what's expected if you plan to give legal info. Thanks.

 

[devmazz]

You've been making lots of firm statements on the boards today, but not providing cites. Please do so, for the state in which OP resides. That's what's expected if you plan to give legal info. Thanks.

will do. thanks for the heads up.

 

[Silverplum]

will do. thanks for the heads up.

You're welcome.

 

[brandiegiuffre]

Haven't talked to dad, have no way to contact him and when I do have a number. All he does is put her on the phone. He will not speak to me. When he does talk to me (on speaker with her talking) he jsut tells me that SM is her mom, I am nothing to her and do not need to worry about what goes on there. I live in Jacksonville, but dad (and case) is in White County (Searcy) Yes the buddy system is very big. I hope everything works the way I want it to. I just don't want my daughter around this woman any more.
I understand the needing to send someone on occasion, I have sent my mom on a couple of occasions. But not every single time. I understand working etc. I am a working mom, however, he does not work. He just doesn't come. At All. He probley does not even know this has all happend and since I have no way to contact him, he won't know until his lawyer tells him about the emergancy hearing.

 

[brandiegiuffre]

about pressing charges against her....

I agree completley. If there is a mark, there should be charges. The PD told me that if it was on any other part of her body, they could do something. But on the bottom, it has to break the skin for them to be able to file criminal charges. All I can do is ask for a restraining order and show the pics to the judge. Doesn't make a bit of sense to me either. It is rather infurieating (sp).

 

[longsally111]

just a thought

you know, I had a friend that was in a similar situation where she would send her child off for visitation with father and sm. Father worked all the time. Friend went to court and stated that she was not sending kids for visitation with sm and if father could not be present, they would not go. she won in court.