uh....don't get all hissy fit on me....but at some point, your daughter will figure out all this on her own. and it really matters what she thinks of the situations when she is 18 and living her own life. you won't be able to control what she thinks and what people tell her. just follow the order. stop trying to be the "good" parent in order to outshine the other parent. it never works, you will only exhaust yourself. you cannot shield her from all the "bad people".
let it go!! either you allow her to have her visitation with her dad on his visitation terms (without a court order), then let him have her. you had years of parenting experince with your daughter, he hasn't. let him figure it out.
i have ten years of parenting on my belt. my husband is on his first year. i have stopped the mind frame of trying to make him do it my way. he's got to learn on his own. doesn't matter that we are together, or if we part ways. everyone has their own learning speed. it's still the same issue in your case. when he comes and gets his daughter, sit down, open a bottle of wine....and relax. your daughter will live through this. and so will you.
Excuse me, you either have no idea the history here or you are an idiot. I'm not worried if he can take care of her needs. I am worried that he will abuse her and yes that is what he was doing to her. The court knows it, the GAL Knows it, his family knows it, her counselor knows it and I know it.
I am not letting him see her so I can look good. I am letting him see her because I still believe she needs to see her dad. Her counselor is working with her to help her assert herself when dad makes inappropriate demands. It's kind of hard to tell your child, yes you have to listen to your father most of the time. However, when he tells you to run away, lie, make false accusations to CPS and the police, well then you have to tell him NO. The court has ordered dad into counseling to help him learn appropriate boundaries etc...Do you think he's done it nope. He hasn't done any of the requirements the court has put forth for him.
You have no idea what this man has told my daughter all to try and make her hate me. He has told her lie after lie all to make her believe that her life with me has been a complete sham. He had my daughter afraid of me. Thirteen years I raised her and never hurt her and all of a sudden she was afraid I was going to hurt her. I don't know how he convinced her but he did. He told her she wasn't safe in my home and that as long as she was here he couldn't protect her. He told her that when he disappeared for 6 mos. when she was eight, that I really knew where he was the whole time. He said I knew and I let her cry herself to sleep for three months and let her worry that he was dead. That all the while I really knew where he was at and let her suffer needlessly. He also told her that when we were together I was a drug addict. Oh one of my favorites, and I quote "I know you don't feel like you have been abused, but that is because you don't know any better. You've really been abused your whole life."
He really had her brainwashed. He would call her 20+ times a day, in between texting, to reinforce all the lies and to make sure she was following the rules he outlined for her. Stay in your room. Don't talk to anybody at home. Don't do chores, your not a slave. Don't play softball, since your step dad is your coach, even though you've played for the last 8 yrs. Your mom is "Hitler", she can't tell you what to do anymore your almost 14 yrs old.
He has asked her repeatedly if step dad has sexually molested her. So much so, that the counselor and GAL are concerned, concerned that he is working up to persuading her to make false accusations. Step dad has raised DD since she was 2 and loves her like his own. X tells DD that step dad doesn't love her like he does our boys, that she is a burden to him. That I don't love her as much as he does, she is his only child and I have two others. Therefore, I couldn't possible love her like he does.
Valentines day last year step dad wrote DD the sweetest most heartfelt valentine a dad could write a daughter and X tried to convince DD that step dad was really being a pervert. DD told the GAL about this card and what her dad had made her believe about it and then the GAL asked DD if she could see it. After GAL saw the card, she blasted X in her report for making it all into something it was not. This whole scenario made my husband cry. I have never in 12 yrs seen tears run down my hubby's face. Granted his eyes got a little misty at our wedding and then at each of our son's births, but there was never a tear down his cheek. This card thing tore him up. He felt like he poured out his heart (not so easy for any man and hubby is pretty macho) to DD and she spit on him.
The examples I list above are only a handful of the things X has done to try and tear apart my family. 2007 has been the worst year of my life. My X has put me and my entire family through hell. He has caused severe emotional damage to my DD and in the end caused far more harm to his relationship with her than he ever could to hers and mine. I owe him nothing!!!!! I can't even imagine how much more crap he has spewed that I don't have a clue about. I didn't just dream this stuff up either. It's not just stuff that I suspect. Some of it I have heard straight from X. Some of it I learned about from the GAL report. Some of it comes from DD's counselor and a lot of it from family counseling w/ DD and my hubby.
I'm glad you think you are so much smarter than the court, the GAL, and the counselors.
Weren't you the one having a meltdown because your X was making an abuse allegation against you yesterday. Honey you better hope that is all he comes up with. If he is half as evil as my X, you'll end up in the fetal position in a padded room!
