Visitation of out of state child

[GotHisBack]

What is the name of your state? NC Child lives in CA

I was looking to get information on how visitation of a child would be conducted if the father lives in NC and the child lives in CA. The eventual goal would be to have the child come out to NC for the summer, but wanted information on how to initially visit child and get him used to the father again in the beginning. Is this something that should be worked out with the Mother, or should it go to a court to decide?

Here's the facts:
1)The child is about to turn 3
2)The father has lived in OH, VA and now NC since the child was 14mos
3)The father is now contacting and speaking with child and mother on regular basis (1-2 times a week)
4)The father filed for set visitation, but has not gotten notice of mother's receipt (except domestic return slip)
5)Father is currently going through court system to set up child support, but has only paid about 50.00 since he left the child in the mother's care
6)Father is now working a job which affords him the oportunity to send more child support
7)In the divorce paperwork it states that the father can see the child with supervised visitation also includes that mother has 100% legal and physical custody.
8)Mother currently does not want child with father alone and wants her mother to supervise (this is fine with the father for initial purposes only)

Any help ie websites, books, advice would be greatly appreciated.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state? NC Child lives in CA

I was looking to get information on how visitation of a child would be conducted if the father lives in NC and the child lives in CA. The eventual goal would be to have the child come out to NC for the summer, but wanted information on how to initially visit child and get him used to the father again in the beginning. Is this something that should be worked out with the Mother, or should it go to a court to decide?

Here's the facts:
1)The child is about to turn 3
2)The father has lived in OH, VA and now NC since the child was 14mos
3)The father is now contacting and speaking with child and mother on regular basis (1-2 times a week)
4)The father filed for set visitation, but has not gotten notice of mother's receipt (except domestic return slip)
5)Father is currently going through court system to set up child support, but has only paid about 50.00 since he left the child in the mother's care
6)Father is now working a job which affords him the oportunity to send more child support
7)In the divorce paperwork it states that the father can see the child with supervised visitation also includes that mother has 100% legal and physical custody.
8)Mother currently does not want child with father alone and wants her mother to supervise (this is fine with the father for initial purposes only)

Any help ie websites, books, advice would be greatly appreciated.

The more often the father can afford to visit in the child's community, the quicker the reintroduction process will be.

If dad can only afford to visit a couple of times a year its going to be hard to reintroduce them properly. One thing that might really help is web cams and high speed internet in both homes. If the child can see and speak to dad regularly, it would immensely help the reintroduction process.

 

[GotHisBack]

Web-Cams....Excellent idea

I started looking through some of the way later postings and found that that is what some fathers do and will bring that up as an option. I appreciate your ideas and help on this issue. I also read that sending packages, letters and pictures is a good way too...that way the child feels that he/she already has a special bond with the parent......I'm just hoping the mother will go for it! Thank you again!

 

[SopranoKris]

Check out some of the Distance Parenting websites as well, such as Distance Parent.Org, Moms Over Miles (there's a Dads Too link), Long Distance Moms, etc.

There are many age-appropriate activities that you can do at a distance with the child when he/she is apart from one parent. There are a few books as well that are worth reading. The better the relationship between the parents, the better you'll be able to facilitate a long distance parenting plan.

If you want more details, send me a PM and I'll give you some links.

 

[GotHisBack]

Websites soooooooooo helpful!

Thank you so much. I pulled up some websites that you suggested and this is a great start. My fiance has been away from his son for some time now and he (and myself) have been wracking our brains trying to think of ways that he can be part of his life without having to fly out there every week(which we can't afford). The DAAD website has awesome suggestions and I think this weekend we will go out and take some pictures of his daddy so that he can send like a little scrap book of things daddy likes to do so that his son can have a better feel for who he is. As of late, the mother is re-married and is encouraging (probably not intentionally or verbally, but emotionally) the child to call her new husband daddy....needless to say this breaks the father's heart. I really appreciate your suggestions and I think this is really going to help father and son enter a new phase of communication and relationship! I can't thank you enough!