What to do

[vivarantthang]

What is the name of your state? ny

I have stopped visitation between my children and their father because his family members stated he is back using drugs again. I was being nice and letting him see the children more than court order allowed, and he started to take advantage. I remind them to call him, and they never do. They say they don't want to because of hisexplosive behavior. He tells the kids they do not have to mind me. The courts or no entity is monitoring him to see if he has stopped using drugs. And I can't let the kids around him. He flipped out and threatened to kill me because I would not let the kids play with a PSP he bought them because their grades were suffering. A month has gone by, and I couldn't hire a lawyer, cause I cant afford one. He picks them up for visitations and he does not even have a drivers license I just found out. He was ordered supervised visits and once a week phone calls and his wife is the one who is supposed to supervise them. Recently I tried to get him served with child support papers, and she lied to the sheriffs telling them he was not living there so that he wont have to pay support. The man is unstable, physically abused me and the boys. He left a message on my machine saying he was going to show up at their school. He called today saying he is gonna get me in court. Am I screwed because he filed contemp of a court order on me before I got to file the modification of visitation? Can I ask the judge to make him give a random urine test on the spot? He also claimed them on his tax return and the children haven't lived with him since 2003. Please help me someone.

 

[Silverplum]

https://forum.freeadvice.com/showthread.php?t=233582

There's more. I just can't be bothered.

What is the name of your state? ny

I have stopped visitation between my children and their father because his family members stated he is back using drugs again. I was being nice and letting him see the children more than court order allowed, and he started to take advantage. I remind them to call him, and they never do. They say they don't want to because of hisexplosive behavior. He tells the kids they do not have to mind me. The courts or no entity is monitoring him to see if he has stopped using drugs. And I can't let the kids around him. He flipped out and threatened to kill me because I would not let the kids play with a PSP he bought them because their grades were suffering. A month has gone by, and I couldn't hire a lawyer, cause I cant afford one. He picks them up for visitations and he does not even have a drivers license I just found out. He was ordered supervised visits and once a week phone calls and his wife is the one who is supposed to supervise them. Recently I tried to get him served with child support papers, and she lied to the sheriffs telling them he was not living there so that he wont have to pay support. The man is unstable, physically abused me and the boys. He left a message on my machine saying he was going to show up at their school. He called today saying he is gonna get me in court. Am I screwed because he filed contemp of a court order on me before I got to file the modification of visitation? Can I ask the judge to make him give a random urine test on the spot? He also claimed them on his tax return and the children haven't lived with him since 2003. Please help me someone.

 

[vivarantthang]

thanks alot

 

[Isis1]

thanks alot

i just read your posts. geez woman. you didn't get what you wanted the last time....why did you come back?

if he is using drugs again you have to prove it. with a police report, a conviction SOMETHING not just your word. and stop being so rude. it won't help you any. at all.

i sure hope you don't take this atitude to court with you. it won't help you at all.

and stopping visitation without a court order, is. going to cause a judge to rethink you being capable of being a CP. it's called parental alienation. he filed for contempt. you handed that to him on a silver platter. you should have checked into being able to file by mail. serve by mail. if you call and are VERY polite a court clerk may have been able to point you in the right direction.

if you can't afford an attorney, you spend hours at a law library learning your local law rules. but only if it's important enough to you. or you could gleen wonderful law advice from actual legal advisers for free if you chose to be courteous and respectful to people who are doing this on their own free time.

 

[vivarantthang]

how can i prove if he has a drug conviction? what about driving around with my kids in the car with no license? the attitude comes with years of this nonsense, no one has a clue on the torment. What about him claiming them on his taxes and he wont even buy them a pair of underwear?

 

[BL]

If you can not afford an Attorney , The Judge will reschedule Court and have you go get screened to see if you meet the guidelines for no cost counsel to represent you , depending on your answer to what income you have .

If you denied the visits you are in contempt . It wouldn't have mattered if you filed first .

 

[BL]

how can i prove if he has a drug conviction? what about driving around with my kids in the car with no license? the attitude comes with years of this nonsense, no one has a clue on the torment. What about him claiming them on his taxes and he wont even buy them a pair of underwear?

What about it ?

You call the Law .

Can you claim them ?

If not why shouldn't he be allowed ?

 

[vivarantthang]

WOw I can actually go to jail for this. And I thought I was the responsible one.

 

[Isis1]

how can i prove if he has a drug conviction? what about driving around with my kids in the car with no license? the attitude comes with years of this nonsense, no one has a clue on the torment.

a police report. it's public information. a conviction is public information. check the sherrif's website where he may have been arrested. but it has to be recent. as in since the last hearing. as for his license...i don't know if the DMV can give you info on another driver. i highly doubt it. you saying it, doesn't make it so. the only thing you can do is ask that only a licensed driver can pick up the children and drive with the children in the car. but you will only drive yourself silly trying to prove it when he doesn't abide by that order.

if any senior comes and contradicts anything i have to say, go with what they tell you. i'm not a legal adviser and can only offer suggestions to give a staring point.

as for child support, that's a whole different animal. if there is an order and he isn't paying per court order, then you need to file for contempt on that issue.

as for filing taxes and claiming children that do not live with him, what does the court order read on that issue?

be very prepared to get a real ripping when you go to court for contempt.

 

[vivarantthang]

Thank You Very Much

 

[Ohiogal]

a police report. it's public information. a conviction is public information. check the sherrif's website where he may have been arrested. but it has to be recent. as in since the last hearing. as for his license...

A police report is hearsay and is not admissible and is not a defense to denying visits.

i don't know if the DMV can give you info on another driver. i highly doubt it. you saying it, doesn't make it so. the only thing you can do is ask that only a licensed driver can pick up the children and drive with the children in the car. but you will only drive yourself silly trying to prove it when he doesn't abide by that order.

Since Rebecca Shaeffer was killed many years ago the DMV doesn't release this information in many states.

if any senior comes and contradicts anything i have to say, go with what they tell you. i'm not a legal adviser and can only offer suggestions to give a staring point.

as for child support, that's a whole different animal. if there is an order and he isn't paying per court order, then you need to file for contempt on that issue.

I agree with the above

as for filing taxes and claiming children that do not live with him, what does the court order read on that issue?

The IRS and the courts are two different animals.

be very prepared to get a real ripping when you go to court for contempt.

Be prepared to provide makeup time and look at losing custody. That would be worse than jail.

 

[Isis1]

WOw I can actually go to jail for this. And I thought I was the responsible one.

worse. you can lose custody. trying being an NCP out of state. is it really worth it to put yourself in a position to lose custody? especially if he is as bad as you say he is?

 

[vivarantthang]

No it wasnt at all. You just think of your children first. Just thinking that they are in the back seat while he is driving them around high enraged me. Everything else is secondary. I will just have to beg for the judges mercy and move on. Lesson bought and paid for.

 

[Ohiogal]

No it wasnt at all. You just think of your children first. Just thinking that they are in the back seat while he is driving them around high enraged me. Everything else is secondary. I will just have to beg for the judges mercy and move on. Lesson bought and paid for.

At what price? If he was high and you knew it you should have called the police. Oh yeah. You didn't know it, did you. You are just guessing.