Ex is $33K in arrears and filing for custody....

[passionatemom10]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Alabama

My ex husband is in arrears about $33.5K. He has recently filed a petition to modify custody and in the response to the petition I have asked that hey pay this balance in full. During some of the time that he was not paying, according to the IWO, he did pay a little here and there. He has receipts from the money orders he used. Some of it dates back as much as 7-8 years ago and has acquired interest. I believe the payments made would amount to maybe $3 to $4 thousand.

Will the interest and amounts that he paid directly to me when he was not working be deducted from the $33K? I have been told that since they were payments directly to me and not to DHR, which issued the IWO, that they would be viewed as gifts and not actual payments, is this true? The actual arrears is around $17.7K and the interest is around $15.5K.

Would it be possible for a judge to require him to pay the amount in full?

I do not have an attorney to represent me and am representing myself. I cannot afford an attorney and have also requested that since he filed the petition knowing I could not afford to defend myself in the matter that he also be required to pay for me to seek adequate counsel in the case. He has sent emails and text messages to me expressing how he is going to "bankrupt my family." How likely is it for a judge to grant this request?

Any advice on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Isis1]

this is just my two cents, not an attorney.

you shouldn't have responded regarding to child support. he wants custody. you respond with why not. no change of circumstance, as long as there isn't any. address what he considers as a change of circumstance.

now, for the child support issue, you should draw up your own motion for contempt. you should be honest about what he has paid.

but there may be a slight problem as to DHR being involved. check into being able to file your own motion since they are the ones handling your case in regards to child support. i wouldn't be able to say since i don't kow if both matters are being seen by the same judge.

 

[passionatemom10]

this is just my two cents, not an attorney.

you shouldn't have responded regarding to child support. he wants custody. you respond with why not. no change of circumstance, as long as there isn't any. address what he considers as a change of circumstance.


now, for the child support issue, you should draw up your own motion for contempt. you should be honest about what he has paid.



but there may be a slight problem as to DHR being involved. check into being able to file your own motion since they are the ones handling your case in regards to child support. i wouldn't be able to say since i don't kow if both matters are being seen by the same judge.

I just included it in my response because DHR has done nothing about it and I filed the case with them around 7 years ago. The only thing they have actually done is made it to where I would receive his income tax refund but that only worked the first year because now he claims more during the year so that he will get back little to nothing so he doesn't have to give it to me.


I thought this is what I had done when including it in the response to the petition. I was honest when I went down there to file with them the first time. They are the ones that told me that it was considered "gifts." Now that it has been included I was just wondering if it were actually true.


I have tried but cannot get a straight answer from anyone there let alone get a real person on the phone and not a voicemail.


My response reads,
"HAVING ANSWERED the Petitioner's Petition to Modify Custody, Plaintiff avers and shows unto the Court the following:

12. That the Defendant is in arrears on his child support obligation in the amount of $17,769.41 in unpaid child support and $15,788.90 in interests and other costs. Said sums are documented in DHR records."


There are a couple of things before this and after this regarding other issues as to why I feel there is not sufficient evidence as to a change of custody.

Then the papers say,

"WHEREFORE PREMISES CONSIDERED, the Plaintiff respectfully requests that this Honorable Court will schedule the hearing requested by the Defendant and do the following:

B. Order the Defendant to immediately pay, in full, the balance of his arrearage on child support, interests and other costs, such sum being a total of #33,558.32 as of September 1, 2008."

Of course there are other requests but they do not involve the actual child support.

 

[TheGeekess]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Alabama

My ex husband is in arrears about $33.5K. He has recently filed a petition to modify custody and in the response to the petition I have asked that hey pay this balance in full. During some of the time that he was not paying, according to the IWO, he did pay a little here and there. He has receipts from the money orders he used. Some of it dates back as much as 7-8 years ago and has acquired interest. I believe the payments made would amount to maybe $3 to $4 thousand.

Will the interest and amounts that he paid directly to me when he was not working be deducted from the $33K? I have been told that since they were payments directly to me and not to DHR, which issued the IWO, that they would be viewed as gifts and not actual payments, is this true? The actual arrears is around $17.7K and the interest is around $15.5K.

Would it be possible for a judge to require him to pay the amount in full?

I do not have an attorney to represent me and am representing myself. I cannot afford an attorney and have also requested that since he filed the petition knowing I could not afford to defend myself in the matter that he also be required to pay for me to seek adequate counsel in the case. He has sent emails and text messages to me expressing how he is going to "bankrupt my family." How likely is it for a judge to grant this request?

Any advice on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

You need to go to your county's DHR office and see if they will enforce the order for you. DHR has lawyers that will represent the state's interest in this but not yours. However, DHR is interested in making sure CS is paid to you. When they get a court order, then he will have to send payment to DHR and not directly to you. DHR will cut you a check. That way there is a record of the payments. I'd also add that I would let DHR know about what payments he has made just to be fair about it. No matter what kind of SOB he is and how he treats you, your son will see how you treat Dad. And since your son is ½ of him via DNA.... Even if Dad lies about it, when adult Son comes to you, then you can explain away to him.

Link to Alabama Administrative Court site on Child Support:
Administrative Office of Courts

DHR website on Child Support:
Child Support Enforcement

Schedule of Basic Child Support:
Administrative Office of Courts

Worksheet used in Alabama to compute Child Support:
disLogonGrid
(It's number 42)

 

[TheGeekess]

I just included it in my response because DHR has done nothing about it and I filed the case with them around 7 years ago. The only thing they have actually done is made it to where I would receive his income tax refund but that only worked the first year because now he claims more during the year so that he will get back little to nothing so he doesn't have to give it to me.


I thought this is what I had done when including it in the response to the petition. I was honest when I went down there to file with them the first time. They are the ones that told me that it was considered "gifts." Now that it has been included I was just wondering if it were actually true.


I have tried but cannot get a straight answer from anyone there let alone get a real person on the phone and not a voicemail.

I understand your frustration; my CS case is handled by Bama DHR, also. However, if you can remember your caseworker's name, you can leave a voice mail at the county office number. Leave the case number when you call, too. Make it as easy as possible for them. It makes them more likely to call back. Some counties only respond on one day a week (I think Blount County only calls back on Fridays from 2-4PM or some such, especially since they are in court on Thursdays). Don't call the first of the month, since like the SSA, that is their busiest time. Like I've posted here before, I spent the better part of one lovely afternoon chasing DHR voicemail in the State offices in Montgomery. I called and left voice mail with my county office and had what I needed in the mail the next day.

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Alabama

My ex husband is in arrears about $33.5K. He has recently filed a petition to modify custody and in the response to the petition I have asked that hey pay this balance in full. During some of the time that he was not paying, according to the IWO, he did pay a little here and there. He has receipts from the money orders he used. Some of it dates back as much as 7-8 years ago and has acquired interest. I believe the payments made would amount to maybe $3 to $4 thousand.

Will the interest and amounts that he paid directly to me when he was not working be deducted from the $33K? I have been told that since they were payments directly to me and not to DHR, which issued the IWO, that they would be viewed as gifts and not actual payments, is this true? The actual arrears is around $17.7K and the interest is around $15.5K.

Would it be possible for a judge to require him to pay the amount in full?

I do not have an attorney to represent me and am representing myself. I cannot afford an attorney and have also requested that since he filed the petition knowing I could not afford to defend myself in the matter that he also be required to pay for me to seek adequate counsel in the case. He has sent emails and text messages to me expressing how he is going to "bankrupt my family." How likely is it for a judge to grant this request?

Any advice on this matter would be greatly appreciated.

Unless it can be proven that he has liquid assets that would enable him to pay you in full its not likely that a judge would order him to pay you in full.

It could earn you major "brownie points" in court to admit to the amounts that he paid you directly.

He needs a true "significant change in circumstance" to change custody. Its possible that your focus on his lack of paying child support was not necessarily the best way to respond to his petition for custody.

I think you really need an attorney. If you can get his emails and texts entered into evidence (not guaranteed at all without an attorney, and not even guaranteed with) that would truly be significant.

 

[passionatemom10]

I understand your frustration; my CS case is handled by Bama DHR, also. However, if you can remember your caseworker's name, you can leave a voice mail at the county office number. Leave the case number when you call, too. Make it as easy as possible for them. It makes them more likely to call back. Some counties only respond on one day a week (I think Blount County only calls back on Fridays from 2-4PM or some such, especially since they are in court on Thursdays). Don't call the first of the month, since like the SSA, that is their busiest time. Like I've posted here before, I spent the better part of one lovely afternoon chasing DHR voicemail in the State offices in Montgomery. I called and left voice mail with my county office and had what I needed in the mail the next day.

I do not actually remember my case workers name. I guess I should go there, huh? I have been there a million times to get new IWO's issued because I have had to track him down after he quits his job. I go to the office in Homewood off Oxmoor Road. Is this the place I need to keep going or is there a better place to get help here in B'ham?

Is the case number on the check they issue? I usually just use my social security number when I look online to find out the status of my checks.

Since I included it in the custody stuff should I still go and file a contempt petition or should I just ride this out until the custody stuff is over? He is actually paying right now.

 

[passionatemom10]

Unless it can be proven that he has liquid assets that would enable him to pay you in full its not likely that a judge would order him to pay you in full.

It could earn you major "brownie points" in court to admit to the amounts that he paid you directly.

He needs a true "significant change in circumstance" to change custody. Its possible that your focus on his lack of paying child support was not necessarily the best way to respond to his petition for custody.

I think you really need an attorney. If you can get his emails and texts entered into evidence (not guaranteed at all without an attorney, and not even guaranteed with) that would truly be significant.

This was not my main focus just one of the many points I included in my response. Others included were:

1. He filed a bogus claim of child abuse on me and DHR investigated and found it to be false.

2. He has been sending me harassing text, telephone, and email messages.

3. He kidnapped my son on Mother's Day weekend this year.

4. The child support issues

The main focus was the false report of child abuse and him kidnapping my son.

His petition says he can prove my son has suffered physical and emotional abuse from me. Which is his main point in proving that this evidence will prove the inherent descriptiveness caused by a change in custody.

I cannot afford an attorney and he knows it. That is why he is doing this. Right now he is not even allowed to see my son which is causing a whole set of other problems.

I have sole custody of my son and his visitation according to my divorce decree says with five days notice and my agreement he can see him. Since all the kidnapping mess and false report to DHR the ISP says he had to get some counseling before he could have unsupervised visits, of course, with my agreement.

I have admitted to DHR that he paid some of his child support when he was not working. I will be honest. I have no reason to lie. He just started paying again this past January. Before that he was off work for a little over a year. Of course, I also have to chase him down when he changes jobs. He NEVER volunteers information.

 

[TheGeekess]

I do not actually remember my case workers name. I guess I should go there, huh? I have been there a million times to get new IWO's issued because I have had to track him down after he quits his job. I go to the office in Homewood off Oxmoor Road. Is this the place I need to keep going or is there a better place to get help here in B'ham?

Is the case number on the check they issue? I usually just use my social security number when I look online to find out the status of my checks.

Since I included it in the custody stuff should I still go and file a contempt petition or should I just ride this out until the custody stuff is over? He is actually paying right now.

I'd keep going to the same office because they should have the records there (and do you really want to go down to 5th Ave S? OMG, that office is a cattle call location! ). As I'm sure you are aware, since JeffCo is the largest county in the state, they tend to be a little slower about things.

The case number is on the 'receipt' portion ("Keep this portion for your records") of the checks that come via DHR. He may be paying the arrearages if he's currently paying; it's listed on the DHR website under the "Payment History" link.

Here's the information for the 5th Ave S. Main office.... You might try calling the director there in charge of CS and see what she will light a fire for you. I think Oxmoor Rd. is going to be in the Bessemer Division, by the by....

Jefferson County ~ Main Office Contact Information
Trish Muscolino - Interim Director
Barbara Galloway - Asst. Director / Family Assistance / Food Assistance & Child Support
Angela Tanveer - Assistant Director / Child Welfare
Kim Mashego - Assistant Director / Child Welfare / Adult Services
Nancy Wilson - Assistant Director / Bessemer Region
Terri Coley - Assistant Director / Administration
Catherine Dennard - Assistant Director / North Division

Street Address
1321 5th Avenue South
Birmingham, AL 35202

Mailing Address
PO Box 11926
Birmingham, AL 35202-1926

Office Hours: 8:00 a.m. until 5:00 p.m.

Phone Numbers
Family and Child Services (205) 918-5100
Child Welfare (205) 918-5100
Child Abuse Hotline (205) 324-2135
Child Welfare FAX 1 (205) 918-2408
Child Welfare FAX 2 (205) 933-1942

 

[passionatemom10]

I have been going to the Oxmoor Road office every time I file a new IWO. That is also where I went when I first went to file the complaint about him not paying.

Geekness,
Thank you for all the indepth information you have provided. I greatly appreciate it.

 

[passionatemom10]

By the way TheGeekness are you an attorney here in B'ham? Want to do any probono work or do you know of anyone that would?

If those questions are inappropriate I am sorry I did not mean to offend anyone.

 

[TheGeekess]

By the way TheGeekness are you an attorney here in B'ham? Want to do any probono work or do you know of anyone that would?

If those questions are inappropriate I am sorry I did not mean to offend anyone.

No, sorry, not an attorney (but husband #1 is... ). Just a hobbyist/single mom. You can get some quick/free consults in the Metro Area. If you will turn on your PMs (go to UserCP>Edit Options>Messaging & Notifications and check the Enable Private Messaging box) I'll be glad to share more with you via that.