Lay offs

[mommabearx1]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

OK I just received a phone cal from my XH. He was laid off this past Monday from his job of 7 years. He said he has enough in savings to pay his child support up to date (I think is arrears are around $900) but he asked that can he write me a check for the the arrears and to pay him up to date through January 31,2009. And in the mean time he is filing to have the CS lowered until he finds another job.

Now our CS goes through DCSE it is drafted from his pay check each week and deposited into my daughter's savings account. I told him I thought he should go to the DCSE office and write the check to them so it doesn't seem as thought he isn't paying anymore/. Is this correct how this should be done?

 

[my life is mine]

He needs to talk to DCSE

 

[LdiJ]

What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Virginia

OK I just received a phone cal from my XH. He was laid off this past Monday from his job of 7 years. He said he has enough in savings to pay his child support up to date (I think is arrears are around $900) but he asked that can he write me a check for the the arrears and to pay him up to date through January 31,2009. And in the mean time he is filing to have the CS lowered until he finds another job.

Now our CS goes through DCSE it is drafted from his pay check each week and deposited into my daughter's savings account. I told him I thought he should go to the DCSE office and write the check to them so it doesn't seem as thought he isn't paying anymore/. Is this correct how this should be done?

Yes, he would need to pay through the DCSE. Otherwise he will not get credit for the payments.

 

[mommabearx1]

New question

XH has been re-hired at the place where he was laid off but for a different postion. He never went to file to have CS lowered and simply went to DCSE and made a payment basically to keep up to date until the end of this month. When he told me about this I asked him when he was going to file to have the CS lowered for when our daughter goes to school in tha fall (it takes about two months to get a court date) well we are going back so the cs is lowered to have her daycare taken out of the equation. He said he would prefer to not go back and have it lowered because the position he got is paying about$15000 more a yr.
(side note: he took me back to have it lowered about a yr ago when he found out I had a part time job, the judge ran the numbers and since he had gottena raise and i hadn't he would be paying about $250 more and not having it lowered, but b/c I didn't counter file he was able to withdraw his motion and it was up to me to refile, and I haven't)

Now he would like to keep it the same so he isn't paying more which he knows he will be even if daycare is taken out. All I want to do is go back and have it set so that the daycare is subtraccted (except for summer daycare) and get the correct amount. I feel like if I don't is fraud. Am I correct in this thinking?

 

[Isis1]

XH has been re-hired at the place where he was laid off but for a different postion. He never went to file to have CS lowered and simply went to DCSE and made a payment basically to keep up to date until the end of this month. When he told me about this I asked him when he was going to file to have the CS lowered for when our daughter goes to school in tha fall (it takes about two months to get a court date) well we are going back so the cs is lowered to have her daycare taken out of the equation. He said he would prefer to not go back and have it lowered because the position he got is paying about$15000 more a yr.
(side note: he took me back to have it lowered about a yr ago when he found out I had a part time job, the judge ran the numbers and since he had gottena raise and i hadn't he would be paying about $250 more and not having it lowered, but b/c I didn't counter file he was able to withdraw his motion and it was up to me to refile, and I haven't)

Now he would like to keep it the same so he isn't paying more which he knows he will be even if daycare is taken out. All I want to do is go back and have it set so that the daycare is subtraccted (except for summer daycare) and get the correct amount. I feel like if I don't is fraud. Am I correct in this thinking?

it's not fraud. unless you are receiving money from the state. you both can agree to less or more as long as the state isn't due any money. your choice. if you feel you are due more in child support, then modify.

 

[mommabearx1]

Gotcha. I just thought because it says in our order what he is paying for and it is half of her daycare. Since she wouldn't be in daycare except during the summer, it wasn't right. but no I'm not on state aid or anything. I don't think it needs to be modified then.

 

[StampGirl]

Gotcha. I just thought because it says in our order what he is paying for and it is half of her daycare. Since she wouldn't be in daycare except during the summer, it wasn't right. but no I'm not on state aid or anything. I don't think it needs to be modified then.

Personally, I would have it modified so that the daycare amount is subtracted. If you leave it as it is now, he could come back later on and say "hey I was paying daycare costs but she wasn't in daycare. I want my money back." THEN you are stuck paying him back all that money.

 

[mommabearx1]

Personally, I would have it modified so that the daycare amount is subtracted. If you leave it as it is now, he could come back later on and say "hey I was paying daycare costs but she wasn't in daycare. I want my money back." THEN you are stuck paying him back all that money.

Yeah that was what my fear was would happen. Thanks!!

 

[mommabearx1]

Summer Daycare

Ok so I have filed to have child support modified to each of our new salaries and to take out the full time daycare. I am not having my lawyer represent me this time and would like any advice on how to ask the judge for the following : Summer daycare and before and after school care. This summer I think between my family and my XH's family we might get away with not having to pay anyone, however we will be winging it all summer long.
Should we need to have to pay for a sitter with this summer or any can we just put it in the order that and daycare costs to be spilt according to the guidleines I guess I honestly don't know how to word this
He is aware he is going to have to pay for before and after school care but he is fighting with summer care saying we should be able to do it with our families which woudl be great, but it is only happeneing like this, this year because my sister is staying home with her kids and that is our only saving grace. Any advice on how to ask the judge without sounding like as big of an idiot as I am on here THANKS!

 

[meanyjack]

Ok so I have filed to have child support modified to each of our new salaries and to take out the full time daycare. I am not having my lawyer represent me this time and would like any advice on how to ask the judge for the following : Summer daycare and before and after school care. This summer I think between my family and my XH's family we might get away with not having to pay anyone, however we will be winging it all summer long.
Should we need to have to pay for a sitter with this summer or any can we just put it in the order that and daycare costs to be spilt according to the guidleines I guess I honestly don't know how to word this
He is aware he is going to have to pay for before and after school care but he is fighting with summer care saying we should be able to do it with our families which woudl be great, but it is only happeneing like this, this year because my sister is staying home with her kids and that is our only saving grace. Any advice on how to ask the judge without sounding like as big of an idiot as I am on here THANKS!

I would recommend that the responsibility of REASONABLE summer care and before/after-school care costs be split according to the percentage of financial responsibility for child support (unless it has been done differently before). Plus some language that cost of proposed care be submitted to the other parent (insert period of time here) -- this is so the other parent isn't "surprised" with a bill due immediately (for example). This is a provision that is not "dated" per se (although you can agree and then place language in a revision that the child(ren) shall not be in daycare past a certain age and before/after school care shall not be after (insert age here), if you wish.

BUT -- let's be honest here -- if there is family to watch them (i.e. his family), then let it happen. It saves BOTH of you $$$. And quite honestly, if this wound up being contested, the Judge just might rule in favor of your ex. Keep something like this out of court.

Just a suggestion...

 

[mommabearx1]

Yes I know this. If his family or my family is available then we would both prefer this. My concern is should none of them be and we need to hire a sitter that we are both responsible for the cost.
I was going to propose that I would pay for cost up front ( IE: we neeeded a sitter in July for two weeks) I would pay and inAugust first give him my receipts and he would reimburse me his part by the end of August. Does that make sense?

 

[Ohiogal]

That makes sense. Do you have a right of first refusal however?

 

[mommabearx1]

No we don't have any type of First Refusal in our order. I have sole and he has specified visitation of EOW 5pm Fri to 6:30pm Sun.- That being said he picks our kids up one from school and the other from daycare as soon as he gets off and the oldest gets out of school.
Do we need a FROR?

 

[TinkerBelleLuvr]

You can also propose that X pay daycare directly, by daycare providers deadline. That way, you can't get accused of pocketing monies.

 

[Ohiogal]

No we don't have any type of First Refusal in our order. I have sole and he has specified visitation of EOW 5pm Fri to 6:30pm Sun.- That being said he picks our kids up one from school and the other from daycare as soon as he gets off and the oldest gets out of school.
Do we need a FROR?

A FROR is just helpful when it comes to saving on daycare costs quite frankly.